Today, I was watching a movie with my boyfriend, when things got a little frisky and we started making out. It was my first time French-kissing, and apparently he has a very sensitive gag reflex, because the moment my tongue went in, he started retching, and vomited moments later. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was watching a romantic comedy at my boyfriend's house. During the make out scene, I decided to go in for a kiss. He apparently decided to belch at the same time. I could taste it. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling on the couch. He held a Kool Fruit in his teeth, and motioned for me to kiss him, so he could put it in my mouth. Just as he was about to do this, I inhaled. He then had to watch me dry retching, trying to get it back up. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling on the couch. Trying to be suave, he put a Kool-Fruit between his teeth and motioned for me to kiss him so he could put it in my mouth. Just as he was about to do so, I inhaled, swallowing it. He then had to watch me dry-retching as I tried to get it back up. FML
Today, I was about to make out with my boyfriend, so I quickly swallowed my gum. Moments later, I started choking on the gum, and ended up spitting it out into his face. FML
Today, after making out with this guy, our tongue piercings got stuck together. After about five minutes of trying to unlock them, I accidentally vomited a little in his mouth. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I shared our first kiss. His partly digested nachos decided to make an appearance halfway through. FML
Today, I kissed my girlfriend. She threw up in my mouth. FML
Today, I kissed my girlfriend for the first time. She recoiled in horror and asked if someone had taken a shit in my mouth. FML
Today, I kissed the girl I love for the first time. Her reaction? She vomited. FML
Today, I was making out with a guy I really like. Midway through, he stopped and said he had to sneeze. After waiting several seconds, he said the urge went away and we kept making out. Ten seconds later, he violently sneezed in my open mouth. FML
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Top comments
Drigr 9
Poor guy.. He needs to work on that, I would hate to not be able to french kiss my girl.
Kallian_fml 21
Well damn. How long is your tongue?
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Comments (120)
thefreelove 9
Your breath must have been pretty nasty.
CharresBarkrey 16
OP's boyfriend vomited from her tongue, not her breath. Re-read the FML.
flea_of_death 23
I dunno...there were times when my ex and I would French kiss and his breath would be so bad I almost barfed...the tongue can taste worse than the breath O.o (sorry if that's tmi. And I hope that all made sense =) )
missababgaga 19
Perhaps he was nervous too! So nervous that he ended up showing you what he ate earlier in the day...
gracehi 33
The tonsils are an organ, OP...not a goal.
nancyschmancy 9
Graci, you are just so funny! Your posts always crack me up. Keep on posting you are hilarious!
MedKits 9
Nancy, you are just such a kissass! Your posts always make you seem like a kissass to me. Keep on ass kissing you are hilarious!
nancyschmancy 9
Wow, Meds, why so hostile? Grace isn't my boss and I sure as hell am not trying to impress anyone, least of all a punk ass like you. I believe in giving kudos when due and Grace deserves it. She's a stitch!
gracehi 33
Thanks, Nancy. :)
MedKits 9
I'm just extremely sarcastic, try not to think of it as hostility. I'm sure you will anyways, however.
Austyn57 1
thats just nasty
Draxanoth 15
There's a difference between making out, and trying to lick his uvula OP. Worst I had was a clashing of the teeth.
Jennielee 6
Ugh, that happened to me once. The grinding noise of the teeth scrapping each other. Eww, the thought of it still sends a shiver down my spine.
Draxanoth 15
Ahh! No more! Making my teeth hurt!
Jennielee 6
Scared for life! Sucks that will always be your first memory. Word of advice, gentle explore his mouth with your tongue don't shove it down his throat. Keep practicing!
Jennielee 6
That's gently, my bad.
crduncan 6
Scarred?
Jennielee 6
Yup scarred! I swear I hit R twice. I should of proof read it but I'm lazy. :)
BossPathfinderGM 14
Yes, gentle is key, gentle and flirty. A swipe across a lip, a light tap on the tip of their tongue, that's enough. No throat diving.
Jennielee 6
Dang, now I want to kiss you, lol.
Warden1986 16
You want to kiss Gandalf?
Jennielee 6
Obviously I'm referring to the poster due to the way they describe the way they kiss. I was also joking. Hence, the lol.
BossPathfinderGM 14
Flattered, I'm sure, but my wife may have an objection to that! Hahaha!
RedPillSucks 33
This is FML. You're suppose to say 'three-some' and go for it.
annie_nk 23
19 - You got it right! Little things like a lip lick or tap are far more sensual anyway. No one likes tonsil hockey.
Kirstie93 5
maybe your tongue just tasted like poo? haha
iHeartMuzik 0
2 People, 1 French Kiss
assassinnya 3
No... DO NOT GO THERE!!!
iHeartMuzik 0
hahaha brings back memories
LiesAndMischief 4
Tell me I am not the only one thinking of Stan and Wendy from South Park. xD
BossPathfinderGM 14
Nope, definitely not the only one!