Today, I was watching a movie with my boyfriend, when things got a little frisky and we started making out. It was my first time French-kissing, and apparently he has a very sensitive gag reflex, because the moment my tongue went in, he started retching, and vomited moments later. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was watching a romantic comedy at my boyfriend's house. During the make out scene, I decided to go in for a kiss. He apparently decided to belch at the same time. I could taste it. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling on the couch. He held a Kool Fruit in his teeth, and motioned for me to kiss him, so he could put it in my mouth. Just as he was about to do this, I inhaled. He then had to watch me dry retching, trying to get it back up. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling on the couch. Trying to be suave, he put a Kool-Fruit between his teeth and motioned for me to kiss him so he could put it in my mouth. Just as he was about to do so, I inhaled, swallowing it. He then had to watch me dry-retching as I tried to get it back up. FML
Today, I was about to make out with my boyfriend, so I quickly swallowed my gum. Moments later, I started choking on the gum, and ended up spitting it out into his face. FML
Today, after making out with this guy, our tongue piercings got stuck together. After about five minutes of trying to unlock them, I accidentally vomited a little in his mouth. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I shared our first kiss. His partly digested nachos decided to make an appearance halfway through. FML
Today, I kissed my girlfriend. She threw up in my mouth. FML
Today, I kissed my girlfriend for the first time. She recoiled in horror and asked if someone had taken a shit in my mouth. FML
Today, I kissed the girl I love for the first time. Her reaction? She vomited. FML
Today, I was making out with a guy I really like. Midway through, he stopped and said he had to sneeze. After waiting several seconds, he said the urge went away and we kept making out. Ten seconds later, he violently sneezed in my open mouth. FML
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Top comments
Drigr 9
Poor guy.. He needs to work on that, I would hate to not be able to french kiss my girl.
Kallian_fml 21
Well damn. How long is your tongue?
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Comments (120)
Drigr 9
Poor guy.. He needs to work on that, I would hate to not be able to french kiss my girl.
PleaseStayChill 9
Maybe it's not his fault. Maybe she's just really gross.
Ameel_fml 19
Maybe it's not his fault. I've known a few people in the past who think French-kissing involves sticking their tongue as far into my mouth as possible and wiggling it around. There's nothing quite like feeling like you're about to choke on a slimy, wiggling slug. D:
SMD_emilyy 1
Maybe op has a Gene Simmons tongue.
FaraPjJammaz 13
Oh dang :/ ... Well, he can always work on it some more :) if you're willing to risk the vomit O_o
Blue_Black_fml 21
Who's willing to risk the vomit?!
sophie22_fml 8
39- the girls in "2 girls 1 cup"
drewcat21 0
44's comment just made me vomit... Why would you remind people of that!?!?
TourettesGuyFTW 26
63- like you didn't watch 2G1C more than once...
walmartpaysme 15
I've never actually seen it. I've just heard about it and that made me sick to my stomach.
daner10 5
Strike 3! Youuuurrre out!
daps29 11
You're*...
CharresBarkrey 16
31 - they wrote "you're" it's just ridiculously elongated.
TourettesGuyFTW 26
The grammar police entrance exams... they must be getting easier.
kawaiikoala93 8
Hmm sounds delicious! Did you vomit back?
Unibear 1
Please quit talking.
dead247 13
Some people are into that. Every thing is a fetish to someone.
olpally 33
*vomits* vomit orgy has commenced! Lol :D
melkymac101 17
I must of been really good for u to have the strength to make this fml
hannah_bug28 4
wtf is wrong with u
supahcoolperson 0
That's crazy! O.o lol I'm sorry, maybe you can practice with him and he'll get better with it :/
mfischer 17
I think OP might be slightly reluctant to practice after that.
pokefan813 16
Clevland's voice: that's nasty.
Drigr 9
Usually when I read "That's nasty" it's in Cleveland's voice. This time, not so much..
pokefan813 16
I had second thoughts about putting "Cleveland's voice". Oh well you can't win 'em all. :)
Schizomaniac 24
That's no attitude for a Pokemon trainer.
hannah_bug28 4
my name is Cleveland brown and I am proud to be right back in my home town with my new family this is the clevland show!
Ciaraaaa44 2
What a memorable first french kiss, maybe one day you'll be able to laugh at it.
ICastillo 25
Dang did you make sure you brushed your teeth today.
MicMic_fml 7
My sentiments exactly, the tongue might just be an excuse her boyfriend gave less he offended her. The real culprit could be the bits of bacon stucked in her teeth from last night's dinner. (;
sofiq 3
When u kiss you don't touch the other person's gag reflex.. Maybe she needs more practice? Who knows where she was putting her tongue
raspygirl 12
This is a F His Life! You can move on, he is stuck this way!
Kallian_fml 21
Well damn. How long is your tongue?
ICastillo 25
Maybe she is the female version of Gene Simmons?
RedPillSucks 33
I was thinking the same thing. If you feel something fleshy that's not his tongue, you're doing it wrong.
dead247 13
New meaning for deep throat? I think so!
ambowew 7
It's Orochimaru!