Today, I was watching a movie with my boyfriend, when things got a little frisky and we started making out. It was my first time French-kissing, and apparently he has a very sensitive gag reflex, because the moment my tongue went in, he started retching, and vomited moments later. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was watching a romantic comedy at my boyfriend's house. During the make out scene, I decided to go in for a kiss. He apparently decided to belch at the same time. I could taste it. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling on the couch. He held a Kool Fruit in his teeth, and motioned for me to kiss him, so he could put it in my mouth. Just as he was about to do this, I inhaled. He then had to watch me dry retching, trying to get it back up. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling on the couch. Trying to be suave, he put a Kool-Fruit between his teeth and motioned for me to kiss him so he could put it in my mouth. Just as he was about to do so, I inhaled, swallowing it. He then had to watch me dry-retching as I tried to get it back up. FML
Today, I was about to make out with my boyfriend, so I quickly swallowed my gum. Moments later, I started choking on the gum, and ended up spitting it out into his face. FML
Today, after making out with this guy, our tongue piercings got stuck together. After about five minutes of trying to unlock them, I accidentally vomited a little in his mouth. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I shared our first kiss. His partly digested nachos decided to make an appearance halfway through. FML
Today, I kissed my girlfriend. She threw up in my mouth. FML
Today, I kissed my girlfriend for the first time. She recoiled in horror and asked if someone had taken a shit in my mouth. FML
Today, I kissed the girl I love for the first time. Her reaction? She vomited. FML
Today, I was making out with a guy I really like. Midway through, he stopped and said he had to sneeze. After waiting several seconds, he said the urge went away and we kept making out. Ten seconds later, he violently sneezed in my open mouth. FML
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Top comments
Drigr 9
Poor guy.. He needs to work on that, I would hate to not be able to french kiss my girl.
Kallian_fml 21
Well damn. How long is your tongue?
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Comments (120)
yenidewi 11
tell her about that, why did u have to be jealous with a dog ? hahhahahhahaha ... X'D
Accuraxy 10
Umm..what?
jmacfan1 16
Wrong fml
perdix 31
I doubt your tongue reached that far. Perhaps, your tongue tastes like ipecac, . . . or shit.
Posthuman 26
Or justin bieber's singing
yenidewi 11
maybe u had to swallow a mint candy first ... lolz
redmane 21
First of all, swallowing a mint candy would do nothing for bad breath. I suggest chewing first. Second of all, the FML says he gagged from her tongue, not her breath.
perdix 31
You're in the wrong region of Switzerland to be doing French kissing. You need to be doing German kissing, which means you keep your lips closed tightly and keep your faces at least two feet apart.
davidn 0
Have tried listerine?
nvo 6
Slow down, girl ... it's not about how much tongue you can sink into him! Let your tongue play with his tongue, 'invite' him over ... take turns, etc. It's a dialog, you know?
ittybitttyme 8
Damn, how far back did you put your tongue?!
KiddNYC1O 22
Tickled his tonsils.
CanCann 16
Sounds like you two are too young to be kissing.
doodlecloud 27
There is literally nothing here that says they're too young. It's not like they were dry humping or something. You have to learn how to kiss at some point.
CanCann 16
Just saying, in today's society, most first kisses are happening by early teens. I'd be surprised if OP was over 14. Parents can believe what they want of their angels but in the school systems, with the various demographics I've worked in, making out, pranks, bullying, and acting out to impress friends have been consistent problems amongst kids primarily 12 and up. Besides how many grown men will continue kissing in ways that he knows will make him upchuck?
love_me_electric 20
Really? How do you get out of that post that they're under 14? OP sure doesn't type like 90% of 13 year olds I know. They could both be inexperienced 17 year olds for all you know.
friedbunnies 9
Well at least he isn't gay...
kerrywoodwins20 2
Maybe you are that bad? Why assume it is his gag reflex? Your tongue isn't supposed to go very deep, you know...