Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling on the couch. He held a Kool Fruit in his teeth, and motioned for me to kiss him, so he could put it in my mouth. Just as he was about to do this, I inhaled. He then had to watch me dry retching, trying to get it back up. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling on the couch. Trying to be suave, he put a Kool-Fruit between his teeth and motioned for me to kiss him so he could put it in my mouth. Just as he was about to do so, I inhaled, swallowing it. He then had to watch me dry-retching as I tried to get it back up. FML
Today, I was watching a movie with my boyfriend, when things got a little frisky and we started making out. It was my first time French-kissing, and apparently he has a very sensitive gag reflex, because the moment my tongue went in, he started retching, and vomited moments later. FML
Today, I was watching a romantic comedy at my boyfriend's house. During the make out scene, I decided to go in for a kiss. He apparently decided to belch at the same time. I could taste it. FML
Today, I was about to make out with my boyfriend, so I quickly swallowed my gum. Moments later, I started choking on the gum, and ended up spitting it out into his face. FML
Today, I watched in horror from the other room as my boyfriend picked the biggest, slimiest booger I've ever seen, then lowered it into his mouth, and licked his finger clean. I very nearly threw up. FML
Today, I kissed my girlfriend. She threw up in my mouth. FML
Today, I was lying on the couch with my boyfriend and was feeling tired, so I got a soda. I sat back down and surprised him with a passionate kiss. I also surprised him when I suddenly burped right into his mouth. FML
Today, I was snuggling with my boyfriend on the couch. We ended up falling asleep, and when I woke up I felt a slobberly substance running down my face. It turns out, my boyfriend drooled so much, it filled my ear and overflowed onto my face. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I shared our first kiss. His partly digested nachos decided to make an appearance halfway through. FML
Today, I was making out with my boyfriend. It was going well until our braces got caught. Out of pain, I tried to pull away, which made my eyes water. Then I sneezed in his mouth. FML
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Top comments
brewmasterg 34
...Why were you approaching a kiss with your mouth open? Are you a lamprey?
jasminea 0
....And he never helped?
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Comments (83)
jasminea 0
....And he never helped?
WOGBRO 6
Just asking has anyone's FML's ever been confirmed.
TexasJosh 0
I can't lie I have read many that I can't help but to call "BS" in my head. I know it ruins it but then I think, I can't be the only one who feels that way.
Justin23L 2
If she was still making noise/breathing, the most he could do would be to slap her on the back.
KeyboardWarrior 10
If he wasn't trained to help, or he panicked and didn't know what to do, the best he could've done is slap her back or call someone. However, if you were alone I'm sure you wouldn't call the ambulance as soon as somebody starts choking, so that explains why he wouldn't call.
KeyboardWarrior 10
Oh 18 beat me to it. Sorry for stealing your spotlight!
comedybreak 20
Anyone else think it would be funnier if she was allergic to fruit ?
ifoundalaska 11
Slapping her on the back would only lodge it further down in her throat.
MerrikBarbarian 9
47 is correct 17. Never ever slap someone who is choking on the back. If they are still breathing all slapping them on the back does is make them inhale sharply, lodging the item further in their throat. So long as the person is breathing ok, leave them be. If breathing becomes labored, use the himlech maneuver to help them cough it out. If they lose consciousness call 911
Canucks8506 0
Balls to you.
waswashere 0
I hate to be the ass that asks, but what is a kool fruit?
_Oblivion_ 12
Well by the description it sounds like a tasty fruit snack
kooochris1995 14
22- they are fruits that are kool.
widdizzles 0
Really 34? I sooooo did not know that
icecreamdriveby 5
Kool Fruits are like the fruit flavoured mentos, only in little balls.. I'm not sure if its just an Australian candy..
kooochris1995 14
42- maybe I wasn't talking to you?
kooochris1995 14
42- maybe I wasn't talking to you.
ifoundalaska 11
Probably not 44- op appears to be Canadian. Those do sound delicious.
Aedus 6
I'm Canadian and I've never heard of a kool fruit
MissLizWolf 8
I'm Aussie and I've never heard of them...
icecreamdriveby 5
They're made by Allens, which I'm pretty sure is an Australian company
funnynesh 10
What was he thinking? ( that it would be like "oh my god, this is Soo romantic. My bad)
Meme1988 18
You are doing it wrong!
funnynesh 10
Me, or the douche bag boyfriend?
melij99 5
Never inhale!
iamyummylicious 14
*dies*
Meme1988 18
It was by mistake! :)
Betz 10
Was it passionfruit?
Crimsos 4
Well first it was a gummy bear... Now this.
Pentium_4 27
something you'll be able to laugh about later
brewmasterg 34
...Why were you approaching a kiss with your mouth open? Are you a lamprey?
Valdrek 26
Lolocaust. I like the cut of your jib.
angeljewlz 7
*googles lamprey*
angeljewlz 7
Now I wish I hadn't... Almost lost my breakfast when I saw a picture of "lamprey disease"
abbybailey204 19
Well now u know what NOT to do for next time right?
I_Hug_Cats 26
So much for romantic...
onedayinamsterda 14
haha! well said !