Today, my mom sent me a picture of a blank piece of paper, saying it was a drawing of all the people who wanted to date me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my mom wanted to send me a picture of me at graduation, saying that I looked pretty in it. It was a picture of a different girl; definitely not me. Way to go, mom. FML
Today, I woke up to an email confirming my membership to a dating site. Turns out my mother is as annoyed by my loveless life as I am. FML
Today, I called my mom to see how she was doing. She quickly hijacked the conversation and said that she's signed me up for a dating site, because she feels bad that I can't find a decent man. I've been dating my boyfriend for seven months, and she's seen me with him multiple times. FML
Today, I asked my mom if she had some good pictures of me for my resume. She gave me her phone to look through her gallery. I found a beautiful album of photos of me and my ex. FML
Today, I texted a cute picture of my boyfriend and me to my mom, who lives very far away. She replied saying that my Photoshop skills are great, but that I don't need to go so far to pretend that anyone would date me, and that there's no shame in being single at 25. FML
Today, I signed up for a dating site and used a photo of my mother and me at a wedding. Everyone stops responding when they find out they're talking to me and not her. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me that my mom paid him to date me. FML
Today, I talked to my mom about hanging out with her. She got out her phone to schedule an appointment. FML
Today, my dad asked me to send my mom a text since he was driving and I was in the passenger seat. I pulled up my mom's contact on his phone, and I found that my mom had recently sent my dad a picture of her jugs, along with the message, "We miss you." FML
Today, my mom asked all the old ladies in her church to pray that I meet "someone special". FML
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Top comments
LittleMissShadow 16
Send one back with the caption "This is a room full of people who think you're funny"
Welshite 40
Check for invisible ink.
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Comments (109)
makkarari 18
Your mom is a bitch
JuliaaNoelle 26
His/her mom is actually kind of hilarious
makkarari 18
As a mom of three girls, I could never do that to them. Self esteems are fickle things!
flufee2 27
Id rather have a mom who can joke around like that than one who is strict and doesn't take jokes
WOTAN1488 24
OP's mom is definitely a bitch, especially if OP doesn't and can't date much.
makkarari 18
There are ways of joking and having fun with your kids without putting them down!
BeastyMcbeast 19
Oh i agree. But i know a lot of kids that just make fun of eachother and that's their kind of humour. If that's how op is then op would say something witty right back. But it really depends on your kid. If your kids a tad sensitive then you shouldnt do what ops mom did. But my dad is like ops mom and me and him are always firing mean and witty things at eachother. It really depends on Ops personality
Jason89 16
this is funny
datkenna 20
Shots fired
SookyLala 13
While i agree that some relationships are based on crude humor, me and my family are a perfect example, it makes me wonder why OP posted it here if it didnt affect her in the wrong way
shessohighh 10
Obviously OP does not have this kind of humor or it wouldn't be a FML.
jawarston 24
DAMN momma burned you. That is messed up.
AcieMcG 21
Hope she also gave her some aloe ? but yeah total bitch mother
Manosapo 18
Thats a “thanks mom" moment
Nolimit2217 32
Your mom is a harsh lady.
Welshite 40
Check for invisible ink.
TheMalygos 21
Remember about the ink that is resistant to UV rays
LittleMissShadow 16
Send one back with the caption "This is a room full of people who think you're funny"
swaggyswagswag 17
No send a whole stack back
BntyHntrSeattle 30
Or she can draw a picture of Zac Efron on the paper and win at life.
Adrian_Robber 6
Don't listen to your mom OP I believe anyone can get a girl if they tried!!! Don't listen to her
buckdharma 38
Especially if they learn all the good pick up lines here.
xxNIGHTxx_fml 17
Why do you assume OP wants girls? OP didn't list their gender.
igive 29
Momma's got jokes!
WCARlover 35
Hey your dad probably dated her and she's a jerk clearly so there's hope for you yet
henrylikestreats 22
Send her back the same picture and say it is a drawing of all the f***s you give.