Today, after making out with this guy, our tongue piercings got stuck together. After about five minutes of trying to unlock them, I accidentally vomited a little in his mouth. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Today, I was about to make out with my boyfriend, so I quickly swallowed my gum. Moments later, I started choking on the gum, and ended up spitting it out into his face. FML
Today, I was watching a movie with my boyfriend, when things got a little frisky and we started making out. It was my first time French-kissing, and apparently he has a very sensitive gag reflex, because the moment my tongue went in, he started retching, and vomited moments later. FML
Today, I swallowed the piercing that I had bought for my tongue yesterday. FML
Sharing is caring
Today, I was making out with this guy when my nose started bleeding, and it got on his face. FML
Today, I kissed my girlfriend. She threw up in my mouth. FML
Today, I was making out with my boyfriend. It was going well until our braces got caught. Out of pain, I tried to pull away, which made my eyes water. Then I sneezed in his mouth. FML
Seduction technique
Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling on the couch. He held a Kool Fruit in his teeth, and motioned for me to kiss him, so he could put it in my mouth. Just as he was about to do this, I inhaled. He then had to watch me dry retching, trying to get it back up. FML
Today, I was making out with a girl who I've had a crush on for a while now. It was all going fine until one of my teeth decided to dislodge itself. She promptly spat out the tooth and left. FML
My love language is…
Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling on the couch. Trying to be suave, he put a Kool-Fruit between his teeth and motioned for me to kiss him so he could put it in my mouth. Just as he was about to do so, I inhaled, swallowing it. He then had to watch me dry-retching as I tried to get it back up. FML
Poor me
Today, I finally kissed the guy I really love at a party. He took me outside and immediately vomited. FML
Top comments
f_alltheirlives 3
I would have vomited right back, starting a cycle Family guy once portraided so beautifully
TC1_fml 0
Oh I already smell the YDI for having a piercing shitstorm incoming... :D FYL, could be worse though, there's plenty of stories 'bout tongue + clit. hood getting locked up etc. :P
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Comments (169)
mrfreak219 3
lol
Expertfail 0
Surely worse for the guy!?
Duckasaurus 0
inb4 everyone says YDI for having a tongue piercing.
NokeyPlc 1
YDI for getting a hideous piercing
TheLetterZero 7
#29, you're too late.
crazieeli 0
agreed #15. I totally think the guy you vomited into should be writing this fml. grossss
IFUCKINLOVETEA 0
how is it a hideous piercing? is probably the most subtle of them all. get over yourself and to the OP, thats bullshit, i have my tongue pierced and theres no way it could get ''stuck'' with another persons for more than 3 seconds max.
lenasaur 0
they could have had a different piece of jewelry in. not everyone has barbells in.
raaron 0
I have know choice I agree you deserve it but I love women with tonque piercing thou
danyfuckinheatle 0
THAT'S WHY MEN SHOULDNT GET PIERCINGS!!!
z620 0
did he spit or swallow
xxrejectedxx 0
woot lol
Veni_13 0
Third! Um, yeah, YDI for tongue piercings!
LissaMccracken 23
You're ridiculous.
Moemoemoe_fml 0
WIN! XD In a way. Universal win. XD This must have been so epic. Everybody in a radius of several miles must have passed out laughing. XD
f_alltheirlives 3
I would have vomited right back, starting a cycle Family guy once portraided so beautifully
abdur 0
Follow this advice and you will go far in this world! :P
dmitriy88 0
you mean the one they blatantly stole from the simpsons? yeah, pretty funny
caticaticati 3
You mean the one that was on Stand By Me and in "The Body" by Stephen King before the Simpsons existed?
TC1_fml 0
Oh I already smell the YDI for having a piercing shitstorm incoming... :D FYL, could be worse though, there's plenty of stories 'bout tongue + clit. hood getting locked up etc. :P
crzy8mnky 1
But she puked in his mouth too, i mean hood to tongue would suck, but atleast you dont get puke in your mouth.
saddream 0
ha i know right and then someones gonna get super serious and go on and on about how terrible they are and how your destroying your body or something else that makes no sense lol
TC1_fml 0
#7: I don't think puke in her pussy would be a cool thing too :D
saddream 0
see they get all serious, just chill :P no need to get worked up about it
saddream 0
mhm ok then, to each his own i guess, if you like to get worked up over my stupidity go for it doesnt bother me one bit :P Treat everyone with politeness, even those who are rude to you - not because they are nice, but because you are. ~Author Unknown
saddream 0
ok then you win i'm stupid, as long as it makes you happy i dont rly like to fight so id like to just end it here
oh_dear34 0
#8, seriously? Do you even know how stupid it is to get a tongue ring? Maybe those of us who are actually knowledgeable about them can convince her to take it out before it it too late. Do you know what oral piercings do to you? The constant contact of the metal piercing with the enamel of your teeth causes the enamel to erode. This will cost THOUSANDS of dollars in dental work later in the OP's life. Also, the piercing can become infected and susceptible to a bacterial infection. Horribly painful, don't you think? And I am pretty- scratch that, ABSOLUTELY- positive that saying something like this makes no sense.
saddream 0
sigh, yes i know this already, both of my parents had tongue rings and informed me of all this before i got mine, im only saying the part that doesnt make sense is how total strangers can tell another stanger that theyre an idiot because of what they chose to do with their own body.
saddream 0
mhm youre all right im an idiot so now that weve established this im gonna forget all about this because i really dont like to argue its very tiring and i have better things to do
oh_dear34 0
Wow. You really are an idiot. You say you knew of the consequences you would face later and STILL got the piercing? At least I'll be profiting from your lack of intelligent decision-making skills later in my life! Thanks for the paycheck!
tsume24 3
123: you can stop ranting and pretending you know what you're talking about. I've had three, yes, THREE, piercings in my lower lip for almost two years. because the barbells are the right length and I never play with them, I have 0 gum erosion/oral damage. oh and I've had my tongue pierced for abouuuut 5 months. I know that's not long, but I got the bar downsized after it healed and it makes no contact with my teeth or gums. did I mention that the woman who wrote the piercing bible has had FIVE piercings just in her tongue for over 20 years and has perfect oral health? please, go find some REAL information on subjects like this before you go pretending you're an angry dentist. thank you.
tsume24 3
oh and again #123: tongue piercings almost never get infected. you've gotta be like, trying to get one infected. you gotta go like a day or two without using mouthwash. I know a girl who got her tongue pierced and that same night, got drunk and ate 1/4 of a pizza and passed out. and her tongue still healed fine. soooooo. yeah.
tsume24 3
one more thing 105....it can "become infected and susceptible to bacterial infection"? isn't that a little redundant? are you saying that if it gets infected, it's vulnerable to more infection? are you saying then that it'd be double-infected? what? you make no sense. well I'm getting a second piercing in my tongue in less than a month, and a third sometime in the future after that if it's doable. I'll let you know in a decade how much dental work I never needed because I know how to take care of my piercings, and I know when to downsize. (:
Volke 4
You need to shut up, nobody cares how much of a "pro" you are with them, so just say one thing and LEAVE IT ALONE.
pinkbullethippy 0
I call bs. I have my tounge pierced and so have almost all of my boyfriends. They are bars with little balls on the end, there is no way to get them stuck.
TC1_fml 0
And I've actually seen it happen for 2 of my friends. Not too hard if both or even one of you have a massive spike or smthn like that, not just a small ball.
quelbaby 0
I agree with ^^^ they're not all little balls.. some are quite oddly shaped and can get stuck together easily ;)
DustyStorm 16
Never seen the little loop with a tiny ball? YDI..... another ball can lock inside. Totally possible.
vocaloidtiger 12
Not ALL tongue piercings have to look the same, you know.
LA_Barbie 11
damnnnn that's gotta hurt! and u hurled in his mouth that's crazy...don't do it again?
werzal 5
Shouldnt it be FHL? He is the one with some chicks vomit in his mouth... YUK!
Paper_Tiger 0
This is one of those moments which are actually good fortune as bestowed by "Murphy." A disguised relationship test. Whatever the final outcome, welcome it and be glad it happened and laugh about it after. So I say neither FYL nor YDI. Actually I say YDI but only because every cloud has a sliver lining, or in your case a stomach lining.