Today, I found out why my husband is suddenly uninterested in sex. Apparently one of the secretaries at work has finally turned 18, and it's pretty much an open secret among his coworkers that they fuck anywhere from 2 to 5 times a day. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my husband asked if we could have more sex, because we spend every day together, but if he wanted celibacy, he’d have stayed single and spent time with his friends. He then pulled out a diary proving we’ve only had sex twice this year. I was completely unaware it was so infrequent. Whoops. FML
Today, I found out that my wife has had more sex in the last two months than I have in our last year of marriage. FML
Today, I discovered my wife has had more sex in the last two months than I've had in the last year. FML
Today, my wife of four years revealed to me that she once had sex with six men at once back in college. Apparently she still fantasizes about it when we have sex. FML
Today, my husband asked me for permission to have an affair with his hot secretary. FML
Today, I found out that my wife of 12 years has slept with the workmen we've had working on our long term building project. They call her the "quickie queen". FML
Today, my husband complained about my lack of sex drive. Gee, I wonder why, Mr. "Always comes first by humping for a whopping 30 seconds." FML
Today, I found out that after working in the same office for five years, I now work with three of my husband's ex-girlfriends. FML
Today, after 2 years of searching, I finally have a job that I love. Now I'm probably going to lose it because I started having sex with one of my managers, and our coworkers are starting to catch on. They caught on pretty much the day I told him that we should stop having sex so we wouldn't lose our jobs. FML
Today, when I walked into work all of my co-workers were giggling and asking "How was YOUR night last night?". Last night I had sex for the first time with someone I'm seeing secretly (with good reason). That person is my boss. He told everyone. FML
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Top comments
BurnInDemonFire 39
Get a lawyer, and take your husband for everything he's got, and will ever have. It's a shame you can't sue the secretary, and his co-workers, as well. Those ******* need to be taught a lesson.
wanted_2_want 40
Correction: he’s still interested in sex. A LOT !! just not with you. Anymore.
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Comments (46)
BurnInDemonFire 39
Get a lawyer, and take your husband for everything he's got, and will ever have. It's a shame you can't sue the secretary, and his co-workers, as well. Those ******* need to be taught a lesson.
DraftHail614 17
Damn. Not that I don't agree, but who hurt you?
skippydoda 32
Actually, depending on where she lives she could sue them.
KingAdrock 16
Sue the husband, yes. Sue the secretary? Not in any state I'm aware of. Usually the only grounds to sue someone who committed adultery with your spouse is if you claim they somehow coerced your spouse into the affair. I'm quite sure that doesn't apply here.
PenguinPal3017 19
The comment actually said that you CAN'T sue the secretary. Reading comprehension.
bluejello2001 18
Leave the secretary alone. We don't know how big the age difference is, but the fact that they started having sex as soon as she turned 18 is skeevy as hell, and hints at possible grooming on the husband's part.
BurnInDemonFire 39
Pal, the Universe will die before I finish naming everyone.
Phillycheeze 20
I know it doesn't happen often. But people have sued the "mistress" and in some cases have won large monetary verdicts. If memory serves me correctly, I believe the term was stolen affection.
ambaker83 2
You can sue the secretary if you live in Hawaii, New Mexico, North Carolina, Mississippi, South Dakota, and Utah under either (depending on state) alienation of affection or criminal conversion. They're both civil matters with the burden of proof on you that an affair actually took place.
bjnono001 20
How is this his co-workers’ fault at all?
Razell 13
"<i> the fact that they started having sex as soon as she turned 18 is skeevy as hell, and hints at possible grooming on the husband's part.</i>" I'm going to guess that, since the OP's icon is male, the secretary isn't a "she". ... which, I suppose, doesn't rule out the "grooming" part...
anothermaria 9
chill down
ChromoTec 24
Well, **** him then.
Charlie Given 28
Get a lawyer ask his co-workers when it started and see if police need to be involved ,then go to your nearest MMA(mixed martial arts) gym seduce a fighter have him beat the shittout of now ex-husband 😈 problem solved
wanted_2_want 40
Correction: he’s still interested in sex. A LOT !! just not with you. Anymore.
KingAdrock 16
Get a lawyer and start documenting EVERYTHING. Hire a P.I. and get solid proof of the affair. Then divorce his ass and take everything.
acmariner99 25
Maybe your husband just needs a hug ... in the face ... with a chair.
Shawnie Gallant 24
Kick that disrespectful secretaryfucker to the curb!
littlenightowl 22
what’s disgusting is the fact that he waited til it was “legal”. meaning he probably would have done it already if he wouldn’t have gotten slapped with jail time. get away from that pedophile ASAP.
Hejira Hayes 8
And get the secretary away from him too, for her sake. Sisters before misters.
PenguinPal3017 19
It's disgusting that he waited until she was legal? So it would be better in your eyes if he started before she was legal? Gross!
cylon_god 4
What kind of company hires underage secretaries? I realize it's probably not rocket science but it's not a walk in the park either. Aren't you supposed to have some skills and some sort of formal education for that? It's not that I don't believe the OP, it just seems to me that this whole business is fishy. And it's so sad that some men lack in personality so much they want to have sex with such young girls, practically kids.
littlekellilee 45
I worked as a receptionist at 17 and did a lot of similar tasks as a secretary. If you don't need a lot done, you don't need a lot of education.
Veroswen 3
Seriously? So basically forget her emotions to get laid? Who cares if the girl is 18. Hell 18 is not that hard to get in the first place. You know why? Because they are basically still children. Get a real woman. Human soul needs more than sex to thrive. Sometimes I hate my own gender. Could put most men in a test tube with a pleasure button and they would never have the desire to leave. Might as well stayed a single cell organism.
kdmittens 9
2 to 5 times a day??? thats a lot, no?
ninjaaudrey 4
Not if you're horny af. 2-5 times a day is normal when it's a new partner. Maybe more if you don't meet every day.