Today, I woke up with a raging hard on. My wife, who was also awake, felt it when I pressed against her. She said, "No thank you," got up, and walked away. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, after weeks of every excuse not to, my wife wanted sex. It was amazing, and she had at least 3 orgasms. Instead of cuddling afterwards, she got up like someone kicked her and started bitching about all the things she could have been doing, as she got dressed and stormed out. FML
Today, I rejected my wife for sex. She then started to masturbate next to me. I got an erection. She then rejected me for sex. FML
Today, I woke up with a huge boner. My girlfriend saw it, rolled her eyes and said, "Not a chance." FML
Today, my wife caught me masturbating to porn. She screamed at me and asked why I would be masturbating when I had her to have sex with. So I asked if she wanted to have sex, she said no. FML
Today, I walked into the bedroom to find my wife naked, bent over the bed, swaying her cheeks back and forth at me, so what else was I to think? Instead of some good loving, all I got was a shouting and a lecture that just because she’s naked doesn’t mean she’s after sex. I give up. FML
Today, I woke up earlier than most days, I spooned my wife, gently massaging her back and letting her feel I was ready for play. She finally woke up, got dressed, and didn’t give a damn. I had to work it out myself once again. FML
Today, my husband woke up in the middle of the night feeling frisky. He woke me up, got me all hot and ready to go, then before I could get into position he fell back to sleep, leaving me to fend for myself. FML
Today, after a long dry spell, I spent a day treating my wife, ending with a full body massage. She was wearing only panties, breathing heavily, and spread her legs, so I reached for her crotch to finger her… and she kicked me in the head so hard I fell off the bed and split my head open. FML
Today, before I went to work, I wanted to kiss my wife goodbye while she was asleep, She punched me. FML
Today, my wife told me she was very horny as we have not had sex in about two weeks, so I told her to do something for me to get me in the mood. She sighed and then went upstairs to get ready for work. FML
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Top comments
core01 30
Men can't even conceptualize that they have to make sex actually enjoyable for women in order to get sex. You just want a hole. Buy a pocket pussy.
angeleyes0724 10
As a woman who greatly enjoys sex at all times, I suggest incorporating foreplay for this occasion. Neck kisses, etc (you get the idea). I'm not promising it will work but it definitely gets me going 70% of the time. Best of luck!!
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Comments (3)
core01 30
Men can't even conceptualize that they have to make sex actually enjoyable for women in order to get sex. You just want a hole. Buy a pocket pussy.
easybree 10
stop pressing your 🍆 on us.. we literally just want to BE.
angeleyes0724 10
As a woman who greatly enjoys sex at all times, I suggest incorporating foreplay for this occasion. Neck kisses, etc (you get the idea). I'm not promising it will work but it definitely gets me going 70% of the time. Best of luck!!