Today, I was leading a tour of my university and saw a girl in ripped jeans and combat boots smoking a cigarette. I told her that she shouldn't be representing the school in such a manner. She shot back: "I'm a Presidential Scholar. Suck my dick, bitch." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today at university, I saw a girl on crutches struggling to make it up the stairs to the dining center. Feeling sympathetic, I politely offered to help her with her bags, and she declined. By declined, I mean she maced me. FML
Today, I was hitting on a girl who was getting ready to walk into the same class as me. We were waiting outside the room, so I told her that I'd heard the professor for the course was a total bitch. We walked into the room. I sat down at a desk. She stood behind the podium. FML
Today, while giving a lecture on gender equality in the workplace, a woman yelled from the back, asking me why I'm not out starting a war somewhere. I stopped talking and tried to pinpoint her in the crowd, which she took as a sign to snort and call me a pussy. Nobody would back me up. FML
Today, I was yelled at for smoking at a bus stop, because a woman didn't appreciate me smoking by her children. She did this while waving her own lit cigarette in my face. FML
Today, after being annoyed one too many times by my students' whiney attitudes, I accidentally blurted out, "Quit being such a bitch," to the superintendent's daughter. FML
Today, I saw my former high school teacher at the mall. After a nice conversation, she mentioned that I "still dress like a slut." FML
Today, I had my cigs tucked into my waistband because my shorts didn't have pockets. A friend walks up and asks for a smoke. I say "I've got something you can smoke right here", tugging at my shorts. The "friend" then kicks me in the nuts for being a douche. FML
Today, I was picking up my little sister from school and while waiting I decided to have a smoke. I was caught and was told to go to the principal's office. I'm 23. FML
Today, I had a nasty cough, but I went to college anyway. When I walked into class, I could practically smell menstrual blood in the air. After a few coughs, our instructor gave me an "Oh, shut up!" After half an hour, she kicked me out for not "taking the class seriously". FML
Today, a classmate posted a recording of a recent lecture on my university's Facebook page, so we could listen again and take notes at home. A few minutes in, I heard myself asking a question. I then heard snorting and some girl muttering "dumb cunt" under her breath. FML
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Top comments
youllnvrkno 8
Moral of the story, Never judge a book by its cover.
DragonDude 24
Did you suck it?
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Comments (340)
CaptainBlack 18
There's nothing even wrong with any of that. Other than smoking I guess, but even then, try not being judgmental, it's fun.
cassablanca91 6
Well that was kind of a dick move otp so you deserved everything you got.
nursecrys 4
Sounds like the Presidential Scholar needs an anatomy lesson.
blackonblight 33
Well as a Presidential Scholar she should know the effects of secondhand smoke, and why you shouldn't be smoking on a tour route.
almostfree_kira 12
This is hilarious. Sounds like something I'd say.
rainbowgreenday 1
Maybe Let Her Be Her Own Person ?
lovethatstach 18
judgmental ass. dont judge a book by its cover. YDI.
faithhaylee 11
It's college. She can express herself how she would like. There's no dress code.
sambee75 6
Judgemental much!? Geez
bsmallz3 12
you definitely deserved that.