Today, while giving a lecture on gender equality in the workplace, a woman yelled from the back, asking me why I'm not out starting a war somewhere. I stopped talking and tried to pinpoint her in the crowd, which she took as a sign to snort and call me a pussy. Nobody would back me up. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I got into an argument with a militantly feminist co-worker of mine. She threw several vulgar insults at me and debased the entire male gender before storming off. I'd only asked if she needed help while she was doing a crossword. FML
Today, as two of my students walked into my classroom, I said, "Hi, ladies". One of them screamed at me: "Did you just assume my gender?!" FML
Today, as I walked home, I heard the people behind me in an argument over my gender. FML
Today, I got bitched out by some lady in a Walmart because I looked at her funny while she was on the phone, loudly bragging about "slapping the shit out of" her kids. FML
Today, at university, I worked up the courage to speak up in a lecture hall of 200 people. I raised my hand, made my point, and felt pretty good until the professor said, “That’s exactly what I said like five minutes ago.” Half the room turned to look at me like I'd just woken up from a nap mid-class. Which I had. FML
Today, I was hitting on a girl who was getting ready to walk into the same class as me. We were waiting outside the room, so I told her that I'd heard the professor for the course was a total bitch. We walked into the room. I sat down at a desk. She stood behind the podium. FML
Today, after telling my boss that trailing a hand up someone's leg and leering at them constantly is counted as sexual harassment, I got called an "unappreciative little whiny bitch." FML
Today, at work, I was screamed at and slapped by a woman for supposedly violating her 2nd Amendment rights. In reality, I'd simply turned her away from the 10 items or less line because she had well over the allowed number of items. I've no fucking idea what's wrong with some people. FML
Today, at work, a woman screamed at me and called me a bitch because I refused to refund something we give away for free. FML
Today, I gathered the courage to participate in a class discussion. My professor laughed at me. FML
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Top comments
spaerro 8
I would start a war right there.
SqueakyChipmunk 22
Call her out. "COME SAY THAT TO MY FACE, BITCH! No? Well you should try some of my famous Shut the Fucupcakes, then."
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Comments (90)
spaerro 8
I would start a war right there.
TourettesGuyFTW 26
Should've started that war by telling her to go put the kettle on!
OhAidan 7
Wouldn't that have defeated the point of the speech though? Regardless of what the woman said.
sens3sfailing 25
25-but what you said ruins the point of the joke.
TheJoeydark 4
Apparently if he started to shove her around, she wouldn't be able to say anything because he'd just be doing the same crap her son did. That lady is an idiot.
nb1234 8
#41... I think you are referring to the wrong fml... Lol.
Kn0wledge123 21
It's those type of females that get the bus driver uppercut.
BntyHntrSeattle 30
Misogyny is ridiculous in this day and age. Good luck at work!
Eorlas 31
OP is a male.
psychotics101 9
Sorry bud. Misandry is what you mean
BntyHntrSeattle 30
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
12- I'm aware, but gender equality usually refers to women; if you haven't noticed, women have had it worse than men since the beginning...
pedosmurf 7
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
But for women it's like a double standard get paid the same they're happy but tell just one dirty joke and it's off to sexual harassment claims I support equality just not the double standard
chveya 6
That's not a double standard, nimrod. If a woman sexually harasses a man, she gets corrected too.
BntyHntrSeattle 30
16- No, I meant what I said: misogyny.
StalkerChick 13
18- Depends on what culture you look at. Some cultures have a matriarchal society. I doubt those women have it worse.
pedosmurf 7
I meant like a joke he could tell his guy friends and it would be ok but if he told a woman it would be different
gracehi 33
Life has always sucked for everybody in different ways. While being second class citizens and having limited opportunities in life is shitty, I'm sure being the people who always have to go to war and being last in line to get off a sinking ship is no picnic either. We should always be mindful of and diligent in equalizing as much as possible the inequalities that both genders face.
nb1234 8
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
#37... You're an idiot! Women "go off" to fight wars as well as men! And now-a-days they are required to have enough space on lifeboats to rescue ALL passengers...
gracehi 33
51, Yes, as a female US Navy sailor, I'm well aware that women go off to fight wars and that ships are required to have sufficient life boats. Obviously though, in modern civilized cultures such as mine, women are not second class citizens and have near-equal, if not totally equal, opportunities for education and career pursuits. I was obviously referring to historical times past. I suggest you reevaluate who is the idiot in this conversation.
ClassyCommando 13
51- Why don't you go ahead and look up female casualty rates and compare them to the male ones. Also women don't ever get drafted.
allmidnighteyes 11
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Misandry is a word made up by redditors and nice guys in fedoras to describe what happens to them when a girl doesn't want to have sex with them.
laden_swallow09 35
Speaking from experience there, 65?
ClassyCommando 13
65- No. Misandry is a word to describe what happens when a woman asks for a divorce (which is the case in the majority of divorces) and takes a huge amount of the family's money and possessions with her, even if the husband has earned almost all of it himself, and still gets main custody of the children (9 in 10 instances).
melons 44
ClassyCommando, it's sad to see someone so bitter about women at such a young age.
ClassyCommando 13
I'm not bitter. I'm pointing out an example of a situation in which men are often discriminated against. Are you going to give a counter-argument or just insult me?
melons 44
It wasn't intended as an insult; I just thought you came across like a man 3 times your age who had given up on women after yet another failed relationship.
Helpfulman 17
Wow, some of you girls are so ridiculously uneducated . It's horrifying.
tuxedoandex 28
You. You are smart.
kewlaidman10 15
Dhf
MURIKKA 11
They were probably scared to death by the foul mouthed heckler woman. I know I would pipe down as soon as she started rolling.
Superstitious 6
Good ol' femiNazis
mvc3ftw 17
What if she was a grammar nazi as well? -shudders-
malfanese 6
Women are strange sometimes- maybe she's mad she has to work?
MrSassypants 34
Hey! OP is talking about about gender equality so you should also say men are strange sometimes too. Geez, women.... :D
thejewishfuhrer 17
19 I was just thinking about how much I hate your comment, no offense.
bobbybill0519 7
People have absolutely no respect
BossPathfinderGM 14
This is an exact reversal of the FML when the woman giving a presentation was told to get back in the kitchen.
SqueakyChipmunk 22
Call her out. "COME SAY THAT TO MY FACE, BITCH! No? Well you should try some of my famous Shut the Fucupcakes, then."
LolPieRofl 11
And then a magical anvil falls on her...
Hershey903 5
"Here's a full cup. Now shut the full cup."
pedosmurf 7
Haha I just saw that on i funny :)
Echo13243 13
*Pulls out cupcakes*
Emma Marshall 19
Lame
every1luvsboners 11
That's your queue to strip naked and start masturbating like a crazy meth-head monkey ****** in front of everyone. When all else fails: **********
graffitied_love 20
I don't think masturbation is the best solution...
Rowdey 10
Booner's return is a truly wonderful grace on FML, indeed.
the_enigma1019 1
We missed you boners. (or most of us did, at least)
Rowdey 10
*Boner's lol
KiddNYC1O 22
13- Don't hate, **********.
BulldogHoops 14
Wow, I remember Boners from my earliest days browsing FML.
nightfire2258 24
I thought you died Boners!
tehaustiebear 34
A true boner never dies.
EagorLuvsBigFoot 8
Violence is never the answer But in this case, I would grab the nearest object and chuck it in her general direction
gracehi 33
So...violence is NEVER the answer... Except for THIS situation? O.o