Today, I was leading a tour of my university and saw a girl in ripped jeans and combat boots smoking a cigarette. I told her that she shouldn't be representing the school in such a manner. She shot back: "I'm a Presidential Scholar. Suck my dick, bitch." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Today at university, I saw a girl on crutches struggling to make it up the stairs to the dining center. Feeling sympathetic, I politely offered to help her with her bags, and she declined. By declined, I mean she maced me. FML
Wrong target
Today, I was hitting on a girl who was getting ready to walk into the same class as me. We were waiting outside the room, so I told her that I'd heard the professor for the course was a total bitch. We walked into the room. I sat down at a desk. She stood behind the podium. FML
A long way to go…
Today, while giving a lecture on gender equality in the workplace, a woman yelled from the back, asking me why I'm not out starting a war somewhere. I stopped talking and tried to pinpoint her in the crowd, which she took as a sign to snort and call me a pussy. Nobody would back me up. FML
Today, I was yelled at for smoking at a bus stop, because a woman didn't appreciate me smoking by her children. She did this while waving her own lit cigarette in my face. FML
Today, after being annoyed one too many times by my students' whiney attitudes, I accidentally blurted out, "Quit being such a bitch," to the superintendent's daughter. FML
Today, I saw my former high school teacher at the mall. After a nice conversation, she mentioned that I "still dress like a slut." FML
Today, I had my cigs tucked into my waistband because my shorts didn't have pockets. A friend walks up and asks for a smoke. I say "I've got something you can smoke right here", tugging at my shorts. The "friend" then kicks me in the nuts for being a douche. FML
Today, I was picking up my little sister from school and while waiting I decided to have a smoke. I was caught and was told to go to the principal's office. I'm 23. FML
Today, I had a nasty cough, but I went to college anyway. When I walked into class, I could practically smell menstrual blood in the air. After a few coughs, our instructor gave me an "Oh, shut up!" After half an hour, she kicked me out for not "taking the class seriously". FML
Background noise
Today, a classmate posted a recording of a recent lecture on my university's Facebook page, so we could listen again and take notes at home. A few minutes in, I heard myself asking a question. I then heard snorting and some girl muttering "dumb cunt" under her breath. FML
Top comments
youllnvrkno 8
Moral of the story, Never judge a book by its cover.
DragonDude 24
Did you suck it?
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Comments (340)
youllnvrkno 8
Moral of the story, Never judge a book by its cover.
sayyestothedress 24
Preach
randomgirl1234 20
?
TrippingOnAcid 29
Ripped jeans and combat boots get a definite yes from me
cocainewhore 30
The OP is a bit of a snob in my opinion. I have to agree with #1.
TheGreatPotato 19
You think a Presidential Scholar would understand the correlation between cigarettes and lung cancer.
cristy91 33
Maybe the presidential scholar is acutely aware of her own mortality and figures the soothing effects of a cigarette at least makes the present moment better. Maybe the scholar just flat out doesn't give a shit of the consequences because not everything is worth caring about. Who knows!
lulinator 40
Just because you're intelligent, doesn't mean you're smart.
reyelisaia 15
#1 my exact thoughts.
Khaleesi_26 30
#30, your statement doesn't make a lot of sense considering the two are synonyms of each other and mean the same thing.
drivingmissdaisy 13
I don't see the problem with combat boots and ripped jeans.. You shouldn't tell people how they should dress.
christina3466 17
Well the word intelligent has a connotation of IQ, academic abilities, and "book smarts". Smart has a connotation of EQ, social abilities and "street smarts".
lulinator 40
Thanks, #50. That was the point of my statement.
Striker_Jr 16
And this is a prime example of being smart
Crazc 15
#28 sounds like someone's a defensive smoker. FYI, whatever soothing effects you get from a cigarette won't be worth it
elcee1987 18
Smoking is a way for many high achieving, type A people to relax. Sure it's not healthy, but I'm in law school and am continually surprised at how many of my extremely smart classmates smoke.
asnakelovinbabe 16
Yes, but the only reason a cigarette calms you down in the first place is because you're addicted and when you go without one for too long you get stressed out. It's a rather pointless cycle, you don't need cigarettes to relax.
awkwarddebater 12
Nicotine gives a high in and of itself that calms you down. If it didn't, nobody would have started smoking in the first place. That's why so many smart/stressed people get addicted, not just them being stupid.
ellemacho 12
I think they're implying the difference between book smarts and common sense
DropTheDaggerxx 31
Smoking shouldn't be a big deal unless you willingly subject other people to your second-hand smoke. Do what you want, but if I have to breathe in your nasty smoke because you smoke in a public place (like school) and have it affect my asthma and anybody else who may have breathing complications- then there's a problem. If smoking only hurt those who smoke it shouldn't matter. I wouldn't have been so rude about it, OP, (and the fact that you added her attire into it makes you a bit of an ass for assuming) but I at least get the smoking part of it.
brifrikkintastic 9
#162 in an outside environment, secondhand smoke does nothing to you. and it dissipates after 10ft. Also, it's not a smoker's goal to subject you to it. It's not like they blow smoke directly into your face (and if they do then that's just rude and those people need to reevaluate their lives).
jthmtwin 16
My uncle smokes non nicotine pipe tobacco, so it isn't always the addicts who smoke
ahippienamedrae 10
28, that sounds a lot like Looking for Alaska
capnbzarr 43
Nah, the moral here is: Mind your own ******* business.
Flowtastic 16
178 - 10 feet isn't all that much and unless the person is chain smoking your distance wouldn't need to last more than 5-10 minutes of your conversation. Either way it would be your choice to carry on the conversation or ask them to come back inside once they were through to continue the convo.
NiceGuysDoWin 21
Everybody dies, and every one of us chooses the risks involved in everything we do, and whether those risks are worth the benefits. Smoking cigarettes increases the chance of getting lung cancer, eating red meat increases the chance of heart disease, alcohol increases the chance of liver damage, soda increases the chance of obesity and diabetes. We all do things we know are bad for us, and in the free world, we all have the right to make those decisions for ourselves. Making the choice to smoke is no worse than making the choice to drive fast, or drink alcohol, or eat processed junk food.
Goblin182 27
#162, if you think smoking only affect the smoker you obviously haven't had to watch a loved one slowly die from lung cancer. Yeah, watching my Mom die over a period of three month . . . no pain there.
think_pink02 4
#48 I don't believe that's what OP was referring to, I think he was referring to the cigarette, ya know something that kills us, just sayin
Razell 13
I dunno... sounds like the cover was pretty well representative of the content.
Mortoli 30
Yes but in her case she doesn't care.
candiicane 12
#167, lots of times people smoke in bus shelters (even though it's against the law here atleast), in crowded (children and family type) fairs, and lining pathways into schools and hospitals and such. In many of those situations it's hard to avoid it without walking in traffic. Also I've had many articles of clothing burnt from people being careless with their arms and not paying attention while chatting with friends and smoking (the walkways leading into my highschool were fenced in, about 6 feet wide and smokers would line both sides of the fence, leaving about a 1ft walkway).
DropTheDaggerxx 31
That's not always the case, #167. Smoking can 100% be a trigger for asthma even outside. And I honestly couldn't care less if it's the smoker's intention to subject everyone else to it, because they do anyway. Knowing that doing something negatively affects the *health* of other people is a dick move and there is intent in it. If they don't mean to, go somewhere else. Designated smoking areas, fine. Anywhere else where people will be close enough to potentially be affected by it? I'm talking outside of malls/shops, in line, at parks, etc. No excuse, save for "being a dick".
Rababco 29
@50 That sounds like me, I'm intelligent, I get good grades and have knowledge but I'm not very smart, I have limited social skills and don't have much common sense. So it's accurate for me to say that I'm not very smart or bright even though I'm fairly intelligent.
dotdotdotslash 8
'Just because you're intelligent , doesn't mean you're wise' may have been an easier statement for others to comprehend :)
devildog562 33
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Suck my dick bitch...rude much ? Couldn't even ask please or the common curtsey of a reach around.
salatguerkchen 5
As rude as telling someone that they're ruining an image
devildog562 33
Cause countering with an assaulting statement is the proper response . Neither is right in this situation. They both seem like unreasonable creatures. I won't say bitch cause that's rude, but unreasonable. Any who I up vote you anyways cause I agree.
AnOriginalName 19
OP was asking for rudeness in return by telling another student how to act and acting on authority that isn't there.
Helpfulman 17
Why is everyone still calling the student a she? They said suck my dick so they are quite obviously male.
LunaaBluee 27
I've used that phrase many times and I'm a female... So it doesn't matter.
foxwasalamb 24
73 the fml states "a girl wearing ripped jeans" its safe to assume "girl" means female here
devildog562 33
# 62 - No doubt that op was a pre judgmental dingle berry, but I feel both of them were wrong. Not saying I wouldn't do or say something similar, just enjoying a laugh and saying my thoughts. #73 We know why you didn't get the presidential grant .... Reading comprehension was 30 pct of the score huh?
Ianamis 6
Suck my dick bitch just sounds better than eat my pussy lets be fair.
devildog562 33
Lick the clit sounds pretty badass to me.
maharb01 17
sounds more sensual than badass to me
martin8337 36
Maybe her dick is the clit.
Helpfulman 17
I understand that she was a girl but it's just weird for a girl to say suck my dick and it raises questions.
kaseyyeahh 7
im female and i say suck my dick. got a problem with it? suck my dick
mollymoe429 21
#105 for prez
AnOriginalName 19
Well technically speaking, 180, the dick is derived from the clit. Developmental biology FTW.
CelticKing 10
Don't judge a book by it's cover.
youllnvrkno 8
Sorry, beat you to it sir.
simplysarcastics 26
So we down vote someone because they so happened to write the same thing as another, coincidences happen. Lol
devildog562 33
Yes for as long as I've read fml . 20 seconds later means bury them... Interesting isn't it .
lulinator 40
Yes, #29. This is FML. Grammar Nazis, and Duplicate Post Nazis are out in full force. Welcome.
youllnvrkno 8
His post literally showed up seconds after mine. I do not agree with the all down votes myself.
honeymoonroyale 20
Yeah, it's the main reason why I rarely comment anymore. Someone will find SOMETHING negative to say so they can look like a smartass.
DragonDude 24
Did you suck it?
diving_fml 30
you know they did like a champ!!
YellowKettleBell 31
The taste is permanently on OPs tongue.
austincain117 16
That sucks op. Nobody who is a big part of the school should represent it poorly but alas it's free will that decides what to do.
marsbrad 5
Just because society decided that she shouldn't look that way doesn't mean a thing. she's clearly got her shit together, maybe now op needs to jump on the bandwagon.
IndefiniteBeauty 17
Just because she LOOKS a certain way? I think not. She's old enough to smoke so who cares? She's doing well in her classes and that's all that matters.
Kaurageous007 12
OP's college campus is probably smoke free and that's what austincain117 was pointing out. You know, op's fml post may just have been written to note that someone who's a presidential scholar get away with not abiding by the campus rules. Just saying...
3molliver3 16
Did you suck her dick? Just wondering.
Haydes 15
Well that's not very scholarly.
KennyJF7 14
Cigarettes are nasty as hell.
DogeMan 14
Bad for you also
duma191 21
we know they are nasty and bad for you. i have never met a smoker in my life that wouldn't tell you never to start smoking.
nchic01 17
don't judge so quickly
PresidentNorth 16
Can't tell people what to do though either. OPs not changing for us.
letmehavemytea 21
But OP's the one telling people what to do. OP sounds like a real stick in the mud pretentious snob.
randomgirl1234 20
YDI for judging too quickly