Today, while watching Rio, I got a boner when Blu and Jewel kissed. This is almost as pathetic as getting a boner a few days ago while watching Homer and Marge kiss on The Simpsons. I think I'm way past the point of ever getting laid. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I'm so sleep-deprived, I got a boner from just thinking about falling asleep. FML
Today, it’s been so long since I've had sex, I dream about it every night and I can barely function mentally unless I masturbate frequently, otherwise I get random boners throughout the day that won’t go away, no matter how much I try to think about something else. FML
Today, a female friend, who I'm mildly into, was crying into my arms about how tough things have been for her. I'm so touch-starved that I got a boner as I hugged her. She noticed. FML
Today, I'm so sexually deprived, I got a boner from undressing a mannequin at work. FML
Today, I woke up with a huge boner. My girlfriend saw it, rolled her eyes and said, "Not a chance." FML
Today, I randomly got a boner while modeling a character's butt in animation class. FML
Today, I realized that I'm so depressed that I can't even watch porn without getting upset about how I can't get laid. FML
Today, my boyfriend got a raging boner while looking around at a gun store. He hasn't had any sexual interest in me in months. FML
Today, I'm so deprived of intimacy that I got a raging boner when a waitress called me "hun". FML
Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. It was going well until she started talking dirty, saying stuff like, "You like my tushy, baby?" "I want to fellate you so bad," and "You'll need some ice after this one." My boner practically retracted into my body. FML
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Top comments
iFizzgig 11
I see you fapping to cartoon **** in the future!
perdix 31
You may be past the point of ever getting laid. . . for free. You'd be surprised what enough cash could do. I'd bet that for a big enough stack of loonies, you can find a blue-haired ***** who will scream and moan like Marge Simpson for the 30 seconds you last inside her. Just show her the D'oh!
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Comments (172)
cbchuckbass 5
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Good job
lebronesque73091 12
What is wrong with you?
Zeppelin1969 5
At least you don't get one when Scooby and Shaggy appear dressed as women…
waswashere 0
Thanks op for spoiling rio
XxHoPPoxX 8
Yellow fettish?
Keyman1212 14
I've seen enough hentai in my day to know where this is going....
silentbutfunny 0
42 - not many people admit that XD
chrisauh 4
Way to pull that off...but Marge is a babe;)
chrisauh 4
HENTAI FTW
MrHomerSimpson 11
I feel special.
racerapj 10
I like what you did there #37. I remember that FML
OctoberRainfall 13
ahaha that fml was one of my favorites! looool :)
iFizzgig 11
I see you fapping to cartoon **** in the future!
FUUUandyourmom 16
In the future?
CuteGinger 2
I love Fizzgig! :3
dayday14_fml 4
Lol true dat
CadillacPimpen 6
I've seen enough hentai to know were this is going...
NuTrees 9
Or try the James Deen's Simpson ****. Their yellow and everything!
BeaterOfTheDrums 15
99 you jacked that from 42! -.-'
humorizer 14
^ Apparently you haven't seen enough hentai to know where this meme was from.
JaysFanStu 3
You're likely right.
ClassyCommando 13
Anyone else think the Rio one is MORE pathetic than the Simpsons one?
Right_Click 12
Nothing's sexier than 2 computer animated talking birds that are the last of their kind. Come on, the whole reason they are brought together is so they can mate. It's a **** forced to happen...
DontClickOnMe 28
Giggity
Dr_Jalepenos 0
*facepalm*
queenb1621 21
I second that *facepalm* ^^
NoobCommenter96 0
Get your swag on then
alexwarfield333 1
Wait....what?
supersixfour 7
your name says it all..
NoobCommenter96 0
Get your swag on then
NoobCommenter96 0
This comment is up twice!! I hate lags
malincake 7
Go to a party and get laid ffs!
A7X_LoVeee 10
That'll be the next step for him.
A7X_LoVeee 10
****. Meant to reply to number 8. -___-
silentbutfunny 0
A party is not a place to get laid, theres drugs, jailbait, and other bad stuff Better off with a hooker
tsim_fml 0
Better than the people who pay money to watch Homer and Marge do it on their computer...
mrpipp 0
How do u know that it costs money? I'm guessing you've had some past disappointment related to this......?
laden_swallow09 35
That's bullspit. You can find that for free! …D'oh!
drlove78843 6
67 - only for scientific purposes, can you give a link to the website
iamabamf 17
Romantic...
SHAMUS_the_WITTY 18
PARTY ROCK!!