Today, I was leading a tour of my university and saw a girl in ripped jeans and combat boots smoking a cigarette. I told her that she shouldn't be representing the school in such a manner. She shot back: "I'm a Presidential Scholar. Suck my dick, bitch." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today at university, I saw a girl on crutches struggling to make it up the stairs to the dining center. Feeling sympathetic, I politely offered to help her with her bags, and she declined. By declined, I mean she maced me. FML
Today, I was hitting on a girl who was getting ready to walk into the same class as me. We were waiting outside the room, so I told her that I'd heard the professor for the course was a total bitch. We walked into the room. I sat down at a desk. She stood behind the podium. FML
Today, while giving a lecture on gender equality in the workplace, a woman yelled from the back, asking me why I'm not out starting a war somewhere. I stopped talking and tried to pinpoint her in the crowd, which she took as a sign to snort and call me a pussy. Nobody would back me up. FML
Today, I was yelled at for smoking at a bus stop, because a woman didn't appreciate me smoking by her children. She did this while waving her own lit cigarette in my face. FML
Today, after being annoyed one too many times by my students' whiney attitudes, I accidentally blurted out, "Quit being such a bitch," to the superintendent's daughter. FML
Today, I saw my former high school teacher at the mall. After a nice conversation, she mentioned that I "still dress like a slut." FML
Today, I had my cigs tucked into my waistband because my shorts didn't have pockets. A friend walks up and asks for a smoke. I say "I've got something you can smoke right here", tugging at my shorts. The "friend" then kicks me in the nuts for being a douche. FML
Today, I was picking up my little sister from school and while waiting I decided to have a smoke. I was caught and was told to go to the principal's office. I'm 23. FML
Today, I had a nasty cough, but I went to college anyway. When I walked into class, I could practically smell menstrual blood in the air. After a few coughs, our instructor gave me an "Oh, shut up!" After half an hour, she kicked me out for not "taking the class seriously". FML
Today, a classmate posted a recording of a recent lecture on my university's Facebook page, so we could listen again and take notes at home. A few minutes in, I heard myself asking a question. I then heard snorting and some girl muttering "dumb cunt" under her breath. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
youllnvrkno 8
Moral of the story, Never judge a book by its cover.
DragonDude 24
Did you suck it?
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (340)
Elizabeth_Scholt 18
Lol, you deserved it. I dont know who you think you are.
sem2183 13
Try minding your own business.
GeneralDerp 5
She sounds awesome. You sound like a killjoy.
jedielf 23
Looks like you're the one who shouldn't be representing your school in such a manner.
clegg7c 17
I find it interesting that people are upset with this gal for judging another, then those same people get on here and judge her (or him) for judging someone else. Also I would like top make the point that just because someone is a presidential scholar doesn't mean that they represent the school in a dignified manner. That's just my opinion though.
Aquila_Umbrae 26
Aren't you judging those who are judging OP for being judgmental? You see it's an endless cycle and an unavoidable consequence of existence. If you are going to call someone out for being a hypocrite then you must first admit you are one yourself.
KnownAsCAJ 11
But they are fair in pointing out those who are judging OP and saying he/she deserves it are also judging- the same thing that they are comdemning OP for. Either it can't be avoided like the endless cycle you say #198 therefore OP can't be blamed, or it can be avoided and therefore other commenters should not fall into the trap in also judging.
Aquila_Umbrae 26
So the judgement is okay as long as it is fair? How do we decide which judgement is fair? My goal here is not to argue for what is right or wrong but to show that judgement is endless.
LuckBeNimble 19
who you think taught you to smoke trees? who you think brought you the oldies? ...Eazy Es, Ice Cubes and DOCs? ...the Snoop D O double Gs? ...and the group that said mother **** the police?!
Sugar_ray17 3
YDI a whole(;
JoshMohawk 11
OP, maybe it's time you learn to stop judging people based on their appearances. We should all have the freedom to express ourselves by means of our dress and grooming. The world would be a better place if people would stop taking it upon themselves to dictate what is acceptable fashion for everyone around them. And in response to #192, this isn't me judging OP. I'm making an observation. I haven't made any comments about OP's character or motivation.
CaptainRR 20
"Suck my dick" Well, she's females. So... She's either implying she's transgender or she's just stupid. Tough luck OP
jujuthefroggy_fml 16
Yeah, because guys saying "suck my dick" to other guys as an insult really expect them to do it..... Or maybe they just use a this quite vulgar expression to comunicate their contempt.
LegendaryMant 4
You've obviously never heard the Natalie Portman SNL rap.
Grimnirwher9 21
That's what you get for telling others how to dress.