Today, I was having sex with my new boyfriend, and I realized that he enjoys making airplane sound effects while inserting himself inside of me. Moment ruined. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex. He decided to make gun sound effects as he came. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It was all going great until he decided to try talking dirty. His idea of this was moaning loudly, "Just what the pussy ordered" as he entered me. FML
Today, I had sex with my boyfriend. In the middle of it, he started saying in deep voice, "Enter, exit." Over and over. FML
Today, I heard my boyfriend making the same noises while cleaning out his ears as the ones he makes whenever we have sex. FML
Today, my boyfriend discovered how to make me queef on demand when he has his fingers inside me. I now feel like my love life has been replaced with fart sounds. FML
Today, while my boyfriend and I were getting intimate, I let out a moan that can only really be described as sounding like a clown car horn. He ended up laughing so hard that he couldn't continue. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. I was making a list of things to do tomorrow while faking an orgasm when I realize my boyfriend had finished about two minutes ago. He's pissed. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were in our room getting hot and heavy. As he was entering me, he started making electronic whirring sounds. Once inside, he said in a robotic voice, "Initiating launch sequence in 3... 2... 1..." and began thrusting as fast as possible. FML
Today, after weeks of no sex, my boyfriend finally decided to have sex with me. While we were getting into it I accidentally farted in his face while his mouth was open. No more sex for me. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having a romantic night. As we were having sex, he decided to say, "Look mom, no hands!" and it totally ruined the mood. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
theneatoburrito 8
Well show him you enjoy making airplane sound effects as you leave the bedroom.
spike1994 2
You know what would really drive him wild? Shave a landing strip for him.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (116)
theneatoburrito 8
Well show him you enjoy making airplane sound effects as you leave the bedroom.
CanWeMicrowaveIt 11
I agree, if he keeps it up it can be terminally ill for your sex life.
lolkaela 6
I don't think terminally ill was the phrase you wanted to use there...
ShyAnn29 15
I think it's kind of cute
gc327072 31
33- Oh yea, it can totally have a carcinogenic effect. Cause ya know, whenever I don't know what a word means, I just try to ********** it into my sentences.
Cbizzlez 10
Hey now it's her own damn fault, what was he supposed to think when she had a landing strip
PincessBoff 6
#50 "just try to ********** it into my sentences." That made my day, thank you.
BeachGirl27 23
I think it was a pun - airport "terminal" as well as the "terminal" as in death. Obviously puns are not to everyone's taste in humour.
ChazzyWazzy1998 10
That's what I thought, but he could have written it like this for better effect: "yeah, that could bring your sex life to the terminal" or something. (I'm no good at puns please don't judge me. I'm nowhere near as sharp as some others, like Pleonasm or perdix lol)
RoboCunnilingus 23
I think it was a pun attempt. "Terminal",
ulis_fml 6
Well I hope he doesn't miss her landing strip
LMFAOwned 9
"Sex with new boyfriend". Now, not to judge her sexual activity and decisions, but perhaps if she got to know this boyfriend more before intercourse, she would know that airplane sounds get him going
crazytwinsmom 25
Jet or prop plane?
Axipiter 24
What about turboprop?
FMLbutYDI 17
If it's a jet engine, GE or Pratt and Whiteny?
andrew6p 19
Eitherways op should have a landing strip
SadGirl18 16
That reminds me of the one guy who did the Star Wars theme song.
SadGirl18 16
Exactly!
xSonic 9
Omg only long time FML users will remember this :)
racerapj 10
Or the guy that did the Mario Bros theme
Arlisshsr 9
Zelda theme FTW
VannahJane 17
Bmmmm open up bmmmmm
emilyjgraham 34
what plane sounds like bmmmm?
aj94w 4
And open up what?
LiterOfCola 16
Ahh you aren't an airplane lady... Ask him to helicopter for you!
sens3sfailing 25
Wait, are you saying he should...no that can't be it...even I am stumped as to what you are trying to insinuate, and my mind is very corrupt.
cristy91 33
I think 5 meant helicopter as in the sex move where the guy inserts himself and spins on top of her with his upper and lower torsos acting as the blades on top
beddington 7
Better yet a motor boat!
Catkam623 27
No he needs to go vroom vroom(park his limo in her garage) :)
LiterOfCola 16
C'mon 32, don't act like you've never helicoptered in front of the mirror before.. I thought all the guys would know what I was saying haha And no, 35.... What the ****?
Soloman212 28
I laughed so hard at 71's response to the previous guess. Just though you all reading this thread would like to know that, if, for example, you're unsure what a typical response would be. TL;DR I lol'd.
raspberryislove 4
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Well that's awful.. Do something back? And make him get it!
MrAwesomeSauce 6
I see nothing wrong with this
nrr13145768 13
Maybe he wants to become a pilot?
ICastillo 25
Open up here comes the air plane vroom...this is the pilot we had a clean landing.
poccocurantes 7
"Tower this Adam 229er jumbo on approach. Requesting permission land. "Negative 229er. We have you in a holding pattern at 1500 feet behind 326 heavy." "Uh, tower please repeat. WTF."
tsent8 15
I think she should just dress up as a naughty flight attendant.
SuperDanielNL 23
Mile high club for the poor?