Today, I learned that my parents are planning to divorce. My dad said, "I'll take Rachel." Rachel isn't even his daughter; I am. Rachel is my mom's daughter with her first husband. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I learned who my dad's new fiancée is. Upon meeting her she exclaimed, "My, I haven't seen you in a while!" She's my ex-boyfriend's mom. FML
Today, I found out my newly-divorced father is now going to marry my girlfriend's mother. Tough situation here. FML
Today, I found out my dad is dating my dead mom's best friend. FML
Today, I found out I was named after the woman my dad was having an affair on my mom with. FML
Today, my eldest daughter announced she was getting divorced. She never even told me she was married. FML
Today, my mom let it slip that she was divorcing my dad. After making me promise to keep it from him and my little sisters, she had me help her with her plans to renovate the house. She intends to kick him out once it's done. FML
Today, I found out that my mom and dad got a divorce. They didn't tell me, they just changed their relationship status on Facebook. FML
Today, my girlfriend's mom and my dad met for the first time. We discovered that they are each other's exes, and not only that, my girlfriend, whom I have been dating, hanging out, confiding with, being intimate with, shared each other's first times, and plan to marry, is actually my half-sister. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I broke the news to my parents that we're having a baby. The first words out of my dad's mouth were, "It's probably not yours." FML
Today, I found out the truth about my parents’ divorce and why our family is so distant. Turns out my dad had an affair with not one, but two of my mom’s sisters. And that my youngest cousin is also my half-sister. FML
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Top comments
ifailsobadly 18
Your father is a heartless bastard...
DocBastard 40
It's reading stories like this that inspire me to be a better father. Right now my daughter thinks I'm the best daddy in the world, and I'm going to do my damnedest to make sure that never changes.
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Comments (64)
AttentionSeeker 6
Thats A Shitty Situation
spoilt_ 15
Why is there always someone who says this? And this fml isn't even poo related...
Kallian_fml 21
Wow... There wasn't even anything toilet/poop related and we still have to read this crap...
TourettesGuyFTW 26
May I interject and say...the dad sounds like a piece of shit.
jmayes414 5
This is the first time I've kind of liked this comment! The timing is so wrong and bad that it breaks the seriousness in a way, you know?
Brool_Story_Co 17
I feel like 1s name fits quite well with his comment.
Rianokami 22
... wow. That sucks. I'm sorry.
ifailsobadly 18
Your father is a heartless bastard...
WeaselBee42 6
Not heartless, he obviously loves Rachel
kenoswild 14
A bad case of mistaken identity, I hope...
kwyk 23
Your father getting your name wrong is so much better
ElmoSaysSquishy 28
Hey it happens. My mother calls me by her sister's name quite often.
stevenJB 25
I agree, because my mother is stressed a lot, she may call me by my little brothers or older brothers name before she gets it right
stzmel 7
My dad called me by my brother's name once. I'm a woman.
flea_of_death 23
My boyfriend calls me his dog's name sometimes...
CaitiieBuggs 23
My dad has called me by my brothers' names before, and then he gave up and called me 'the Girl'. Parents aren't perfect.
Bubbelz 25
Yep same here. Just sometimes, I get to hear a bunch of names before hitting the right one. It's nothing personal. The first time ever was when a close friend's mother confused my name with their dog's, because we have short names and she was used to both.
naiveprophet 15
#33 I call my boyfriend by my dog's name almost every time I'm mad at him...
SillyGirl4602 23
I'm sorry you are going through your parents getting a divorce. I have gone through it and sometimes the parents can act very bitter towards one another. Best of luck op.
kwyk 23
I'm wondering how old Rachel is. Suspicious anyone? I... uhh, definitely have not seen videos that form the basis of my suspicions...
laya_fml 26
If you're trying to say that Rachel is a little kid, she probably isn't. OP is probably at least 13 or 14 if she is using this site and seems to write not like a little kid. If Rachel is from OP's mom's first marriage, then she probably is at least a few years older than OP. Sorry if I read your comment wrong, it just sounded very creepy.
Pyapi 20
I think it IS very creepy. Is it just me or was he insinuating a situation similar to Lolita?
homeboyangst 17
That's disgusting.
naiveprophet 15
I'm pretty sure that comment was meant to be creepy, #36....
snufflebubble 13
Maybe he was trying to spite your mother? Either way he's a total dick and I hope he somehow realises what a douche he is and becomes a better father for you.
deathtothepix 26
Common knowledge that (some) Dads can be complete idiots. Divorce sucks but maybe you can understand why it's happening in the first place if he's going to make thoughtless statements like that.
xXxJaGsTeRxXx 11
Maybe it was assumed you were going with him and he wanted Rachel too.
Ashamed_Sister 60
How cruel. You better stay with your mom.