Today, I was having sex with my new boyfriend, and I realized that he enjoys making airplane sound effects while inserting himself inside of me. Moment ruined. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex. He decided to make gun sound effects as he came. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It was all going great until he decided to try talking dirty. His idea of this was moaning loudly, "Just what the pussy ordered" as he entered me. FML
Today, I had sex with my boyfriend. In the middle of it, he started saying in deep voice, "Enter, exit." Over and over. FML
Today, I heard my boyfriend making the same noises while cleaning out his ears as the ones he makes whenever we have sex. FML
Today, my boyfriend discovered how to make me queef on demand when he has his fingers inside me. I now feel like my love life has been replaced with fart sounds. FML
Today, while my boyfriend and I were getting intimate, I let out a moan that can only really be described as sounding like a clown car horn. He ended up laughing so hard that he couldn't continue. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. I was making a list of things to do tomorrow while faking an orgasm when I realize my boyfriend had finished about two minutes ago. He's pissed. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were in our room getting hot and heavy. As he was entering me, he started making electronic whirring sounds. Once inside, he said in a robotic voice, "Initiating launch sequence in 3... 2... 1..." and began thrusting as fast as possible. FML
Today, after weeks of no sex, my boyfriend finally decided to have sex with me. While we were getting into it I accidentally farted in his face while his mouth was open. No more sex for me. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having a romantic night. As we were having sex, he decided to say, "Look mom, no hands!" and it totally ruined the mood. FML
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Top comments
theneatoburrito 8
Well show him you enjoy making airplane sound effects as you leave the bedroom.
spike1994 2
You know what would really drive him wild? Shave a landing strip for him.
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Comments (116)
spike1994 2
You know what would really drive him wild? Shave a landing strip for him.
PincessBoff 6
Role playing level: air port.
TipOfTheHat 10
Tell him the control tower will not clear him for takeoff! He needs to grow up!
etm250r_fml 4
That's just a queef
LiterOfCola 16
Please delete your profile picture Now you changed it and I look foolish... Rest assured everyone it was a very creepy man picture..
etm250r_fml 4
She's gone, gave her the ol' lickaroo
ICastillo 25
Houston we have a problem..There was a few early accidental discharges right after landing...
nycwrestler 17
I guess his plane win't be entering her hangar
I_iz_B_a_troll 24
Maybe if he'd trim his cockpit and aim for a calmer landing she wouldn't mind.
wagne057 6
He'd be all to excited if you had a landing strip down below.
Enslaved 38
Shave that and he just might crash!
g4m30v3r 11
Pretending he's in the "cockpit"?
nycwrestler 17
Does op have a ****?
Enslaved 38
No, but she has the pit.
lorraineald 7
It's the pit where the **** goes.
poccocurantes 7
I prefer motor boat sounds myself.
perdix 31
What a n00b! Any accomplished lover would know what a woman wants at that intimate moment: a space station docking sequence. Sometimes women come when they hear, "Insertion module aligned. Open air lock." Yeah, it's that hot.
tsent8 15
That's no ******! It's a space station!
AaronGuy 12
Maybe he's hinting that he wants to join the mile high club?