Today, my boyfriend and I were in our room getting hot and heavy. As he was entering me, he started making electronic whirring sounds. Once inside, he said in a robotic voice, "Initiating launch sequence in 3... 2... 1..." and began thrusting as fast as possible. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I had sex with my boyfriend. In the middle of it, he started saying in deep voice, "Enter, exit." Over and over. FML
Today, my husband and I were about to have sex. As soon as I got on top, he started speaking in a robot voice, then demanded that I call him "The Fuckinator." FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It was all going great until he decided to try talking dirty. His idea of this was moaning loudly, "Just what the pussy ordered" as he entered me. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex. He decided to make gun sound effects as he came. FML
Today, I was having sex with my new boyfriend, and I realized that he enjoys making airplane sound effects while inserting himself inside of me. Moment ruined. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. After about 10 minutes, while we changed positions, he shouts, "Power Rangers - It's Morphin' Time!" FML
Today, my boyfriend decided to "spice up sex" by talking like an anime character. We had to stop after the line, "Your vagina will crumble before the power of my Hypercock!" FML
Today, I was having phone sex with my boyfriend. Trying to be sexy, I told him what I was doing with my vibrator. I heard a loud bang, followed by him shouting, "Why don't you just fucking marry it, then?!" and then hanging up. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend when he started shaking really hard. When I asked him what he was doing, he simply said, "I want to be better than your vibrator!" FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had the wildest sex we'd ever had. I was on top of him and started going at it like crazy. I was close to finishing when the Mortal Kombat phrase "FINISH HIM!" popped into my head. It wasn't until I saw a weird look on his face that I realized I'd said it out loud. FML
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Top comments
Psychotic_Snail 0
hahaha hes a keeper
dragsdotasniper 2
funny bf
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Comments (223)
dragsdotasniper 2
funny bf
Eyeliner_fml 0
lmfao I've seen so many of these fml's. I hope he was kidding, what a way to kill the mood.
syddyb 0
Atleast he has a sense of humor.:)
LightningLadyy 0
Hahaha, I would die laughing!
MrSStrupe514 0
Lighten up! And quit bitching!
IndianForLife 0
YDI for having sex before marriage.
pipp360 0
at least Op got laid.....
Bosia 0
Did he "blast off", as well?
bh0p 0
These FML's are so stupid it's all girls who have no sense of humor, just because there boyfriend does or says something funny. Gosh you dang girls need to learn to laugh. :/
White_Fury 0
Great point 88. I completely agree. These FMLs are hilarious!
ninjagirl1996 0
how long did it take him to take off his glasses and suspenders? NERD ALERT!!
fml98kevin 4
i was thinking the same thing!
poppyseed420 9
haha I've had tons of stuff like this happen to me, I guess when you hang out with guys you think a lot of the same stuff is funny
TaylorSaysMoo 4
Dude 88 ima girl and if my bf ever did something like that I'd be laughing haha whenever I read these FMLs it makes me wonder why girls canmot appreciate guys with some humor. Theyre lucky lol
BlackMoon_fml 9
I'd put a ring on it so fast
Psychotic_Snail 0
hahaha hes a keeper
HUG_fml 0
lol
PurpleSleep 0
"Houston, we have a problem"
JessieMongoose 11
I would've laughed. Then, I would've slapped him.
Pb25797051 0
BITCH
cradle6 13
Actually 14 is right. If you slap someone for making a joke, you are indeed a bitch.
pepsie_fml 0
depends how hard you slap them.
charlesnk7 0
indeed
supersam1221 0
u soundlike my girlfriend
ryu7 0
I was smiling at this post at first then I read ur comment and frowned I wonder why...
barbarianDonkey 0
this isn't an fml it's a win
jonathanpwns 0
i found it funny that you're name is Jessie and the posters name is Jessie, suspicious much?
Mubus 0
21: Epic pic!
walc 2
your*
partychix246 0
wow time to move on unless it felt good for some unknown reason
lil_ham1644 29
Some people like it fast... Yea the voice is a bit odd, but I would just laugh it off
TXjuggalo972 6
getting hot and heavy? lol sounds like your the funny one
walc 2
you're*
TXjuggalo972 6
thank you
Doortje 30
..and CRASH.
MacNuggets 0
blast of!!
LuxAeterna_fml 0
Houston, we have a problem. :D
Melli17 3
chamillionaire the millionaire ^ lol
maddyjayneexox 4
hey, whatever turns him on.. right?
chaosdragn16 2
well that's just sad then. If that turns him on and she don't, lol! anyways... I thought it was gonna be that he came once he finished his countdown.
sfdrf 0
at least they were getting some!
jasonfabian 0
HA that blows
malters 9
no, it explodes ;)
FerrariCake 2
Is your boyfriend's name Hal?
perdix 31
And if his missile is a Minuteman, you need to find someone else, or learn to pleasure yourself with sex toys. Premature payload delivery is a failed mission.
truthinlies 1
lol how do you come up with this shit
SmallTownCutie 0
haha that was well written.
omerthebomber 4
Perdix ur my favorite person on FML
chuck_yams 0
Yeah, how the hell do you do it?
gDwane 0
^win