Today, I was having sex with my new boyfriend, and I realized that he enjoys making airplane sound effects while inserting himself inside of me. Moment ruined. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex. He decided to make gun sound effects as he came. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It was all going great until he decided to try talking dirty. His idea of this was moaning loudly, "Just what the pussy ordered" as he entered me. FML
Today, I had sex with my boyfriend. In the middle of it, he started saying in deep voice, "Enter, exit." Over and over. FML
Today, I heard my boyfriend making the same noises while cleaning out his ears as the ones he makes whenever we have sex. FML
Today, my boyfriend discovered how to make me queef on demand when he has his fingers inside me. I now feel like my love life has been replaced with fart sounds. FML
Today, while my boyfriend and I were getting intimate, I let out a moan that can only really be described as sounding like a clown car horn. He ended up laughing so hard that he couldn't continue. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. I was making a list of things to do tomorrow while faking an orgasm when I realize my boyfriend had finished about two minutes ago. He's pissed. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were in our room getting hot and heavy. As he was entering me, he started making electronic whirring sounds. Once inside, he said in a robotic voice, "Initiating launch sequence in 3... 2... 1..." and began thrusting as fast as possible. FML
Today, after weeks of no sex, my boyfriend finally decided to have sex with me. While we were getting into it I accidentally farted in his face while his mouth was open. No more sex for me. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having a romantic night. As we were having sex, he decided to say, "Look mom, no hands!" and it totally ruined the mood. FML
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Top comments
theneatoburrito 8
Well show him you enjoy making airplane sound effects as you leave the bedroom.
spike1994 2
You know what would really drive him wild? Shave a landing strip for him.
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Comments (116)
perdix 31
Meh. Pretty much any sound effect is preferable to the dreaded,"Is it in?"
semrau 5
He would know if she would finally shave a landing strip like i'm sure he asked her to
heliraptor 13
"Is it in?" "I can't tell, is it?" Somehow, I think that response would shut her up about that.
I_iz_B_a_troll 24
Not to sound judgmental, but the way you talk about having sex with your "new boyfriend" makes it seem like he's just another notch in your belt, which leads me to believe you don't take sex very seriously yourself.. So lighten up and enjoy the ride!
PincessBoff 6
Your mustache, I enjoy it quite so. Mm, yes, I do say!
ChakatBlackstar 29
Looks like someone is spending the night in a holding pattern.
FMLbutYDI 17
Nice.
youllnvrkno 8
Doesnt matter. Still had sex.
cristy91 33
You shouldn't be too worried about him making noises, he just wanted to be silly. If you're not crazy about him doing that, tell him you don't like it (which, if it killed the mood like that, you probably did) and if he's a considerate person then he'll stop. Or you could also try being silly one day too, maybe you'll find it fun!
mikeymayhem_87 15
Missiles locked on target! Engage the enemy!!!! .......minutes later....... We're hit!! Eject!! Eject!!
Enslaved 38
I prefer "Open wide, here cums the choo-choo train".
Enslaved 38
My Sex Ed class video talked about-- catcher's mitts, batting skills and bases. Baseball. . . America's favorite pastime.
Lacist 19
That is plane wrong.
mistercrow 9
On the brightside he wasn't making any of the following sounds: 1. Chainsaw 2. Jaws theme song 3. Ronde Alla Turca