Today, I was having sex with my new boyfriend, and I realized that he enjoys making airplane sound effects while inserting himself inside of me. Moment ruined. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex. He decided to make gun sound effects as he came. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It was all going great until he decided to try talking dirty. His idea of this was moaning loudly, "Just what the pussy ordered" as he entered me. FML
Today, I had sex with my boyfriend. In the middle of it, he started saying in deep voice, "Enter, exit." Over and over. FML
Today, I heard my boyfriend making the same noises while cleaning out his ears as the ones he makes whenever we have sex. FML
Today, my boyfriend discovered how to make me queef on demand when he has his fingers inside me. I now feel like my love life has been replaced with fart sounds. FML
Today, while my boyfriend and I were getting intimate, I let out a moan that can only really be described as sounding like a clown car horn. He ended up laughing so hard that he couldn't continue. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. I was making a list of things to do tomorrow while faking an orgasm when I realize my boyfriend had finished about two minutes ago. He's pissed. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were in our room getting hot and heavy. As he was entering me, he started making electronic whirring sounds. Once inside, he said in a robotic voice, "Initiating launch sequence in 3... 2... 1..." and began thrusting as fast as possible. FML
Today, after weeks of no sex, my boyfriend finally decided to have sex with me. While we were getting into it I accidentally farted in his face while his mouth was open. No more sex for me. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having a romantic night. As we were having sex, he decided to say, "Look mom, no hands!" and it totally ruined the mood. FML
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Top comments
theneatoburrito 8
Well show him you enjoy making airplane sound effects as you leave the bedroom.
spike1994 2
You know what would really drive him wild? Shave a landing strip for him.
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Comments (116)
Ressamies 6
"I just want to tell you both good luck. We're all counting on you."
poccocurantes 7
Just saw this. Awsome!
GrinchFu1 27
I'm gonna try this... The idea of making sound effects prior to or during insertion or during oral sex has never crossed my mind. I feel like I could be missing out on some really good laughs here!
TweakerD 4
Every pilot nows that you have to get clearance before flying IMC. I just hope for your sake that this guy isn't one of those scud runners. They'll fly their 'planes' anywhere!
poccocurantes 7
I think he had to say it out loud. Once she turned the lights out he was on IFR. You should keep communications open when you can't get a good visual of the landing strip.
insaneDONUTZ 15
I bet you like when he crashes his plane on you
Tanari 12
If I was with someone who did that, and they kept doing it, I'd honestly break up with them. I wouldn't be able to get anything out of the sex, way too distracting.
poccocurantes 7
Apparently you have not read my previous comment. ; )
Reaper1984 13
mayday mayday
20runningindians 3
Prepare for landing.
Iknoweverything 29
It seems like everybody on FML seems to have a horrible time in the bedroom... seriously, if the foreplay is even half way decent, and has you at the point where you want him NOW, it won't matter what kind of noises he makes, because you'll be too into the whole thing to care. Seriously, good sex doesn't get interrupted by random whims from easily amused men, because you're so far in the moment that you won't care!
evhrocks876 4
I was about to get 69th comment
raphael1123 13
Could have been a train. Chuggachugga-chuggachugga-choo-choo!