Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend doggy-style. I was getting close when he suddenly blurts out, "Babe, you really need to bleach your asshole." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I tried to tease my boyfriend by pulling my skirt up, bending over, and backing up into him. He gagged and said, "Please, wash your ass." FML
Today, I was getting dirty with my boyfriend. It was the first time he had fingered anyone, and the only thing he said was, "It feels like the inside of my asshole." FML
Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. Right as I was really getting into it, he pauses, frowns, and says, "I think I see the pee hole." FML
Today, I was having hot sex with my boyfriend. Then, I felt a puff of air hit my face and a rancid smell. My dog had farted in my face. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I tried to have sex, but every time he thrust into me, he farted. Loud, smelly, wet farts. After a minute, I shoved him off and demanded he take a dump. After a full five minutes of loud diarrhea, he came back to bed, his ass stinking of sewage. My pussy dried up so fast… FML
Today, during sex, my boyfriend found it appropriate to tell me he loves "how bad" I smell. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were messing around in his car. I then decided I was going to give him a blowjob for the first time. As I was going down, he grabbed my chin and said, "Don't do that, your mouth isn't clean enough." FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It was all going great until he decided to try talking dirty. His idea of this was moaning loudly, "Just what the pussy ordered" as he entered me. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. I grabbed his butt to control his thrusts and got a clump of used toilet paper. FML
Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, he started pretending he was a dog. This included barking, licking my face, and scratching his ears. FML
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Top comments
ClassyCommando 13
It's an asshole, what the **** does he expect it to look like? If he cares that much about bleaching assholes, he should bleach himself for being one.
shadowsorel 15
How the **** do you bleach an asshole?
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Comments (280)
tesseract1977 0
wtf. bleached assholes?
shann2u2 5
Apparently he's into **** and the unrealistic silicone, butt bleachers that are supposed to represent "real woman". I'd start calling him "Spanky" and tell him since he seems to be such a professional in the **** industry to go "f**k himself"
skulltorn 8
Well I've never seen an asshole and thought "man that needs bleaching!", but if your boyfriend feels the need to tell you because it's that disgust and gross to look at, you might want to take his advice. =/
kandi_kid69 15
55- It's an asshole. It's not supposed to look pretty. She doesn't need to take his "advice" and bleach it.
icemand90 17
"but your not bleached" (is he?)
ObeyStudKing 4
Here's what you do. Tell him to bleach his dick! If he gets upset explain to him that by you bleaching your anus will only cause health problems. Just like him bleaching his dick, his little men wouldn't work anymore. Seriously have a talk with him.
skulltorn 8
How do you compare a penis with an asshole? If you were to say the boyfriend should bleach his own, (which has been said already) then I'd agree. But no, you're an idiot.
WrongRomance 11
Actually, skulltorn, both are places that dispense waste, along with having sensitive tissue. I would say it would be a decent comparison, along with bleaching your vulva if you were a female. The point is, genitals are ugly. Buttholes are ugly. They are meant to function like any other organ.
selahsmithereens 1
I agree although I think genitals are supposed to be viewed by your significant other as special, and don't really classify the butthole area as a genital region. It can be ugly but who cares?! What jerk would seriously give a damn about their girlfriends asshole, I would suggest she get to give a full critique to him about his gross man ass.
WrongRomance 11
It's such a ridiculous thing to complain about. If I was OP I would send him back to missionary position.
diaspora_fml 26
If you're intimate enough to have sex, you should be intimate enough to have these discussions. The manner this was introduced was disgustingly insensitive, but to be offended at the very idea of doing anything to make yourself more appealing to your partner is insane. Trim my hair? No, my hair is who I am. Wear something nice? No, that's not me. Refusal to think of anyone but yourself, and taking offence at the thought that you should, is a matter for your rightfully solitary self.
Raesin 21
It's not that people don't want to make themselves look better for their partners. Don't you think it's a little unfair to be asking your partner to do something dangerous to their health for the sake of something you might see once or twice a day? Maybe you would like to do it as well so you can suffer through the burns, rashes, itching and no doubt other horrible side effects together.
bmykytyn 0
Maybe he just said it because that's the thought that popped in his head? I'm pretty sure he didn't research it before saying anything to her. She probably has a dark ass hole. And he thought that bleaching would be easy Guys say dumb shit. No need to be sensitive about it.
selahsmithereens 1
The point is that body parts for different people are different colors based on complexion, maybe this is a bit different for the anal region but still, to each their own. I take the comment as akin to saying I don't like your eye color or nipple color... if you're aroused enough to have sex then the coloration should matter!
skyeyez9 25
Keeping yourself clean and pubes trimmed is common sense, and a totally different thing than someone telling you you should be bleaching your shithole.
souljacker 11
This is what happens when people watch too much **** and don't have enough real sex.
perdix 31
So, your asshole is criticizing your asshole?
xxhollilollixx 6
So... I know this is waaaay off topic. But what does your pic mean? I see the top color and think of Troll Berserkers from Warcraft II..........
mimiminx 23
Why don't you suggest you go and get your assholes bleached together? I can almost guarantee he wouldn't set foot in a beauty salon to have it done to himself! Still, I don't think I'd get upset if this was me. A simple '**** off' would suffice.
Factor_fml 6
What's next, bleaching your internal organs? That guy shouldn't be allowed to get laid.