Today, while putting a drip in the back of an elderly patient's hand, he commented that he didn't realise doctors had pierced nipples, but not to worry because he's only in the hospital "for the b*tches". FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, as I was translating for a patient to get an MRI, the tech asked if I had metal in my body. In front of the patient, I had to disclose that my nipples were pierced, so I couldn’t accompany the patient bedside. FML
Today, I had to explain to a patient that no, her nipples were not slowly getting smaller. FML
Today, I nearly sliced my nipple off while shaving my chest and had to go to the ER. Turns out it was a teaching hospital so I got to explain in front of two doctors and eight med students how, even though I'm a woman, my nipples are so hairy I have to shave them. FML
Today, while at my job as a nurse in the ER, someone came in with a hangnail. They threw a fit that they had to wait because we were managing a heart attack, a man with colon cancer and a kid with appendicitis. FML
Today, my parents hassled me for wanting to get my tongue pierced, saying it was filthy, unprofessional, and degrading. About an hour later, my sister let slip that my nipple is pierced. FML
Today, I went in to see my piercer. He took one look at my piercing I got a few months ago and laughed saying "What a shit job, I'm sorry but that's pretty crappy because it's not even straight!" I then had to awkwardly explain it was indeed him who had pierced me. FML
Today, I was waiting in a doctor's office when I was approached by an elderly woman. She told me all about the ripping of her stitches in a very private place, in exhaustive detail. Of course, today was the day my doctor chose to be an hour late. FML
Today, holding my teenager's hand at the hospital, I unfortunately had a front row seat as a nurse manipulated his penis trying to pop a ball bearing out of his urethra. He had been curious to see if it fit. It did. And no matter how hard he tried he couldn’t pee it out, so off to the hospital we went. FML
Today, I was at my job as a bartender where I had to listen to a 40-something man with no legs drunkenly explain just how much he loves nipples. FML
Today, when I was visiting my dad in the ICU, the nurse was trying to help him sit upright and his dick and balls plopped out of his hospital gown for everyone to see. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
sourgirl101 29
Do doctors have pierced nipples? We'll only know if you are indeed a "doctor". You can't control what comes out of people's mouth but you can control them from being able to see your nipples. So.... YDI
mboehm88 3
That's not what this FML is about at all
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (77)
italianmafia 6
haha classic
ImJustNotBlack 0
FML sucks. My life is bro is better
metal8214 0
that's why so many people are dumbasses and hurt themselves
brownboxes 0
good on him!
LolzRoyce23 0
I agree. old man win
DarksideDoll 31
What a pimp. Old man's got game.
HamsteronA 0
Climb aboard da pussy-wagon!
Zmeilerr 22
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Ahh, grumpy old men. I was in the emergency room last month, and next to me there was an old man who needed staples in his head, because he fell. Wouldn't stop cussing and complaining about everything.
mboehm88 3
That's not what this FML is about at all
kiwi00 0
This doesn't sound like a grumpy man.
jazzmxx 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
so... it was like F*CK!!!!!!! THE LIGHTS ARE CROOKED!!!!! WHY THE F*CK ARE THEY CROOKED!!!!!!!!!????????? MOTHERF*CKIN LIGHTS NEED TO BE STRAIGHT!!!!! oh wait... I was sitting on an angle -.- WHY THE F*CK WAS I SITTING ON AN ANGLE!!!???
BaronConall 0
Can you be MY nurse?!?!
folfg7 0
or mine? I pay good. ;)
unidentified_sta 5
I almost look forward to the FML regarding "unconscious" groping that would result.
Mortanious 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
With a pierced nipple and a nurse outfit, I think you took a wrong turn to your destination sweetheart; the strip club left and the hospital is right.
pinkdottedbow 0
Win.
citynightneonlig 0
love it
emodude44 0
Strippers aren't as respected as Doctors and save a lot less lives.
dudeitsdanny 10
^^^ That's what YOU think ;P
maybaybe 0
creepy old man.
flammenhund 4
I believe you mean "awesome old man".
GuitarNukka520 5
awww I wanna be an old man like himmmmm
harrymcshabsstic 0
#7 you are gorgeous
gmor 0
cool lets pick girls up on fml.
sourgirl101 29
Do doctors have pierced nipples? We'll only know if you are indeed a "doctor". You can't control what comes out of people's mouth but you can control them from being able to see your nipples. So.... YDI
chillinAK 9
Most definitely. I always wear SOMETHING under my scrub top to prevent a flash while leaning forward. I learned that lesson early on. YDI.
stronghand0331 17
Sir, here's your catheter and while I'm down there would you like me to repetitiously shake my breasts back and forth? I thought so...