Today, as my girlfriend and I were making out, I slowly took my clothes off and revealed my body to her for the first time. She looked, smiled, and said reassuringly, "Aww, don't worry. I know how it's supposed to look." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I took my clothes off in front of my girlfriend for the first time. She made a weird face for a moment, then burst into laughter. She couldn't stop laughing, no matter how hard she tried. FML
Today, my incredibly self-conscious girlfriend decided to get over her fears and let me see her in her underwear. She did a short strip tease, crawled on top of me, and asked what I thought. I couldn't think of anything to say besides, "Your bra and panties don't match." FML
Today, my girlfriend, who is very self conscious about her body, finally decided to have sex with me. She told me to wait a few minutes, so I did. I stripped and turned around to find her in a one-piece swimsuit, with a hole cut out of the crotch. FML
Today, I was making out with my girlfriend for the first time, and she reached down to feel me up. When her hands got there, she stopped and said, "You're not even hard..." I was. FML
Today, I finally got intimate with my girlfriend, the girl of my dreams. I undressed and, ready to step in bed with her, I see her staring at 'it'. Which was quickly followed by laughter. FML
Today, I was getting changed in front of my roommate of two years. Feeling comfortable, I took off all my clothes and started putting new clothes on. I asked why she wasn't taking her eyes off my naked body. She said, "I'm loving the view. Didn't you know I'm a lesbian?" FML
Today, my girlfriend of two years and I decided to have sex for the first time. When we were in the room, finally ready to start, she confessed that she had never seen a penis before. To make her more comfortable, I showed her mine. At the sight of it, well, she actually fainted. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were "fooling around." It started to get hot and he took out his penis for the first time. This was the first one I've seen in real life so I decided I'd complimented it. I had no idea what to say so I said, "It's pretty." FML
Today, I was fooling around with my girlfriend for the first time. She put her hand on my cock over my jeans and said, "Get hard for me." I was hard. FML
Today, while making out with my girlfriend, I got the courage to take off my shirt. I told her in advance that I had a sunken chest and she'd told me it was no big deal. Turns out it was, as she wretched at the sight of it, and then broke up with me. FML
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Top comments
C19_fml 9
Very curious to see what "it's supposed to look like"..
Psych101 9
At least she was nice about it. If she had just left, she wouldn't have been worth your time.
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Comments (140)
Psych101 9
At least she was nice about it. If she had just left, she wouldn't have been worth your time.
kendallhi 9
If you don't have anything nice to say, then don't say it at all
PleaseStayChill 9
Unless it's hilarious. Then you can go for it.
Psych101 9
20- That's why I said "at least." I don't think she should have said anything, but her response was a lot better than it would have been if she had left him. "That is NOT what it is supposed to look like. I can't deal with this. We're through."
starbursty 0
28- and you are why I get on FML Lmao
ICastillo 25
It's alright Op it happens to the best of us...
drewcat21 0
28. I love your picture.
MissMae93 23
61 - I can honestly say I've never had to say nor receive that comment before. I don't really think this has "happened to the best of us", hence it being on FML.
Soloman212 28
That's very conceited of you, 75. If it hasn't happened to you, then it doesn't happen to the best of us?
WrongRomance 11
20- It's great that your picture is Pedobear and you're quoting Thumper from Bambi, a Disney movie.
KSG472 3
Very true
mikeofthunder 13
I think #1 is right - this is the start of something beautiful :D
Fisheyedfool7 2
75 - that would be because you aren't the best of us.
Rachaelc23 8
79/105 - she wasn't saying she was the best. She was merely referencing someone else's quote meaning that it doesn't happen to everyone. Pay attention to the punctuation.
Rachaelc23 8
And punctuation.
superblake 1
U r hot haha
maosquare 18
Actually, 114, I don't think you got what they meant. I am quite certain they were not talking about her being the best or whatsoever. Pay attention to the content.
MrVanAwesome 5
Wow what a horrible thing to say
shellz102 12
Why can't people realize that we all can't look absolutely perfect? There's nothing wrong with being different, it defines who we are.
michaelaranda 28
At least she didnt walk out or throw up :/
Matty1188 6
What IS perfect, anyway?
lacespace 8
Steve Carrell
SenselessPattern 12
Not after "Finding a Friend for the End of the World" he isn't.
lacespace 8
Are you ******* kidding me! Steve Carrell is the most gorgeous creature on earth! He's a magical nymph who sways with the grace of a delicate swan on a moonlit pond. His face is that of an overgrown baby angel.
kjklopu 1
U, sir and or madam, r a poet
ALlamaOnFire 20
Jared Leto. Perfection.
Megan98 18
Channing Tatum, definetly.
C19_fml 9
Very curious to see what "it's supposed to look like"..
innavoiG 9
Well she could've just laughed and walked out.
shadowsorel 15
We're probably supposed to look like those abnormally perfect Photoshopped people on the covers of magazines. Maybe that's the way she thinks...
ClassyCommando 13
Judging by the use of "it" and the ambiguity, it's probably about his penis. My best guess would be that it has something to do with circumcision, or rather a lack thereof. I've heard that American girls sometimes react strangely to seeing uncircumsised dudes.
xxhollilollixx 6
Most American men are circumcised, I think. One of my friends from high school was not, however. I mean, I never saw it. That's just what I was told. :-/ Either way, I remain objective and unbiased. Some say its better with the skin, some say its better without... Me personally.. Never seen a natural man's pig in a blanket, lol. (I heard a story about one that looked like a pig in a blanket ha. Ew.)
trollcrusher 17
Don't mind her, but if it bothers both of you, work out together.
Welshite 40
Read OP's username. I really don't think his body bothers him that much because it seems like he is quite content with his appearance.
NinjaAssasin720 0
Ye wellshite your absolutly right because if you dont know what OP meant then you are not old enough for an FML account
thrAsHeRr9081 16
That made no sense 83.
yuzuhere 21
No, it made sense.
zmiller96 2
If 83 didn't make sense your too young for fml. Lmao
thrAsHeRr9081 16
What does Wellshite's comment have to do with knowing what OP stands for?
trollcrusher 17
112- His what is too young for FML? Sorry, couldn't resist.
herpderpherpderp 13
stand up and say, "my milkshakes bring all the boys to the yard" then get your friends to start dancing in your front yard and then, start doing the shimmy.
EagorLuvsBigFoot 8
And that would help.. how?
foshizzle82 7
Wouldn't help at all - but was ******* funny!
sturnbull 1
Hahahahahahhahahahaha
aznmuffin44 12
59--what a thought-invoking comment. I think I'll be wondering on that one for a long time..
aznmuffin44 12
59--what a thought-invoking comment. I think I'll be wondering on that one for a long time..
lacespace 8
Herp- you've got a great mind. Im sorry you're under appreciated by the FML community. If I could take it all away I would.
herpderpherpderp 13
100- thanks for the support, it means a lot :)
toughchick14 15
Wow! Sometimes I do that for my older sister
C19_fml 9
You make out with your older sister?
Funkymunky1511 4
What did you do with your sister?? :))
littlem91 29
That's rather disturbing.
DontThumbMeDown 8
There are some things we keep to ourselves...
CyborgBanana 12
My mind... it has been corrupted by these thoughts.
sheethapins 13
You tell her you know what her naked body is supposed to look like?
mduffy08 8
SHE makes out with her sister!?
rebel_belle1974 5
that's really really creepy
LaughinStock 16
SHUTUP Garrus and go back to calibrating!!
lardinmybum 1
You naughty wanker!
astoryofroses 9
the answer to your name: she thinks it's too small
Dixbfloppin 11
Way to kick him while he's down.
shift_love 13
What the hell does that even mean? At least she didn't say "awww it's not that small" that would have sucked.
lindora 35
I think she was referring to his physique rather than his penis size.
CallMeMcFeelii 14
I know this isn't relevant to the fml but..OLD GREG! God damn I haven't watched that video in years.
mimiminx 23
Or... Awww, it's so cute!!
Welshite 40
Hey, there's nothing wrong with the natural shape of people's bodies. It's who you are, personality wise, that counts.
redbluegreen 41
Is your girlfriend Ebony Dark’ness Dementia Raven Way?
shift_love 13
Wtf is an ebony dark'ness dementia raven way? And no I will not google it.
CyborgBanana 12
21 - Not an option, Bing would just give him search results not even mildly related.
raraisbang 12
Oh my god that failure of a fanfic...
lardinmybum 1
Dammit!
Trisha_aus 15
Everytime I see Bing I just think of Chandler from FRIENDS...and Janice..oh lord.
SaharaBelle 5
The **** did I just read