Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend doggy-style. I was getting close when he suddenly blurts out, "Babe, you really need to bleach your asshole." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I tried to tease my boyfriend by pulling my skirt up, bending over, and backing up into him. He gagged and said, "Please, wash your ass." FML
Today, I was getting dirty with my boyfriend. It was the first time he had fingered anyone, and the only thing he said was, "It feels like the inside of my asshole." FML
Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. Right as I was really getting into it, he pauses, frowns, and says, "I think I see the pee hole." FML
Today, I was having hot sex with my boyfriend. Then, I felt a puff of air hit my face and a rancid smell. My dog had farted in my face. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I tried to have sex, but every time he thrust into me, he farted. Loud, smelly, wet farts. After a minute, I shoved him off and demanded he take a dump. After a full five minutes of loud diarrhea, he came back to bed, his ass stinking of sewage. My pussy dried up so fast… FML
Today, during sex, my boyfriend found it appropriate to tell me he loves "how bad" I smell. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were messing around in his car. I then decided I was going to give him a blowjob for the first time. As I was going down, he grabbed my chin and said, "Don't do that, your mouth isn't clean enough." FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It was all going great until he decided to try talking dirty. His idea of this was moaning loudly, "Just what the pussy ordered" as he entered me. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. I grabbed his butt to control his thrusts and got a clump of used toilet paper. FML
Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, he started pretending he was a dog. This included barking, licking my face, and scratching his ears. FML
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Top comments
ClassyCommando 13
It's an asshole, what the **** does he expect it to look like? If he cares that much about bleaching assholes, he should bleach himself for being one.
shadowsorel 15
How the **** do you bleach an asshole?
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Comments (280)
benmec 18
Thanks for the reminder. That's totally what I've been meaning to do...
Bree12345 15
That was like, one of the longest p2t arguments I've ever read.
drewcat21 0
Next time you're about to make love and he takes his penis out just sigh and say you really need to grow. Lol
LuckyLynx7732 5
Someone has been watching too much ****.
skip_m 6
WrongRomance - A) Lighten up a thousand notches. B) Being liberal entails being open-minded to ALL opinions. C) Human rights also include not force-feeding your points of view on anyone else who disagrees with you because you respect their basic human right to have a different opinion.
swedeNix 13
Tell him to grow atleast 3 inches first. What kinda idiot Sais it during sex ??? Put one of those red gag things in his mouth next time so he'll shut up
poppyseed420 9
Its called a ball gag
RoroRoxyRoo 2
Thats when you dismount and tell him to jack off. If your asshole bothers him that much, he shouldn't have a problem.
mccrightp 29
Lol! That's what I don't like about doggy-style.
TheNewGuy03 29
Unless you have poo hanging out your booty or you have a particularly pungent smell, then I doubt I'd be able to concentrate on anything but vibrating buns and/or orgasms. Maybe he should be looking at the asshole in the mirror...
furbyface711 9
Tell him only **** stars and gay men bleach their assholes; and that if you do it you will be required to act like one of the two.