Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend doggy-style. I was getting close when he suddenly blurts out, "Babe, you really need to bleach your asshole." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I tried to tease my boyfriend by pulling my skirt up, bending over, and backing up into him. He gagged and said, "Please, wash your ass." FML
Today, I was getting dirty with my boyfriend. It was the first time he had fingered anyone, and the only thing he said was, "It feels like the inside of my asshole." FML
Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. Right as I was really getting into it, he pauses, frowns, and says, "I think I see the pee hole." FML
Today, I was having hot sex with my boyfriend. Then, I felt a puff of air hit my face and a rancid smell. My dog had farted in my face. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I tried to have sex, but every time he thrust into me, he farted. Loud, smelly, wet farts. After a minute, I shoved him off and demanded he take a dump. After a full five minutes of loud diarrhea, he came back to bed, his ass stinking of sewage. My pussy dried up so fast… FML
Today, during sex, my boyfriend found it appropriate to tell me he loves "how bad" I smell. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were messing around in his car. I then decided I was going to give him a blowjob for the first time. As I was going down, he grabbed my chin and said, "Don't do that, your mouth isn't clean enough." FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It was all going great until he decided to try talking dirty. His idea of this was moaning loudly, "Just what the pussy ordered" as he entered me. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. I grabbed his butt to control his thrusts and got a clump of used toilet paper. FML
Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, he started pretending he was a dog. This included barking, licking my face, and scratching his ears. FML
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Top comments
ClassyCommando 13
It's an asshole, what the **** does he expect it to look like? If he cares that much about bleaching assholes, he should bleach himself for being one.
shadowsorel 15
How the **** do you bleach an asshole?
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Comments (280)
baileymarie102 6
Lmfao what?? What does he expect!?
chockelvis 3
I just spit out my tea laughing at this comment haha
wtfmeesh 4
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allybeauregard27 0
do y'all have sex with all the lights on?
allybeauregard27 0
next time y'all are having sex wait till he gets close and say "babe you really need to bleach your entire ass"
jiggins007 4
"So I should bleach you, asshole."
TheMystery13 13
So what are you waiting for? Have him bleached!
TheImaginarySong 16
Do people really bleach their butt hole? Because that sounds unhealthy
marijuflowers 6
Wow such drama here. To OP: I think you should highlight to your boyfriend that he isn't exactly a **** star either.... Maybe you would like it if he enlarged what's in his pants, I mean if this is all about wanting the **** star look.. Right?? Seriously think you need a new partner.
876t786t6oi 12
I am almost 3 years late to comment but hai :)