Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend doggy-style. I was getting close when he suddenly blurts out, "Babe, you really need to bleach your asshole." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I tried to tease my boyfriend by pulling my skirt up, bending over, and backing up into him. He gagged and said, "Please, wash your ass." FML
Today, I was getting dirty with my boyfriend. It was the first time he had fingered anyone, and the only thing he said was, "It feels like the inside of my asshole." FML
Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. Right as I was really getting into it, he pauses, frowns, and says, "I think I see the pee hole." FML
Today, I was having hot sex with my boyfriend. Then, I felt a puff of air hit my face and a rancid smell. My dog had farted in my face. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I tried to have sex, but every time he thrust into me, he farted. Loud, smelly, wet farts. After a minute, I shoved him off and demanded he take a dump. After a full five minutes of loud diarrhea, he came back to bed, his ass stinking of sewage. My pussy dried up so fast… FML
Today, during sex, my boyfriend found it appropriate to tell me he loves "how bad" I smell. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were messing around in his car. I then decided I was going to give him a blowjob for the first time. As I was going down, he grabbed my chin and said, "Don't do that, your mouth isn't clean enough." FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It was all going great until he decided to try talking dirty. His idea of this was moaning loudly, "Just what the pussy ordered" as he entered me. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. I grabbed his butt to control his thrusts and got a clump of used toilet paper. FML
Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, he started pretending he was a dog. This included barking, licking my face, and scratching his ears. FML
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Top comments
ClassyCommando 13
It's an asshole, what the **** does he expect it to look like? If he cares that much about bleaching assholes, he should bleach himself for being one.
shadowsorel 15
How the **** do you bleach an asshole?
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Comments (280)
stormstarcj 12
All this arguing over bleaching your bootyhole?! Lmao! Tell him to **** off just like half these idiots arguing over something so stupid, yet pretty damn funny!
Ameel_fml 19
I wonder if the OP's boyfriend has a bleached anus? Somehow I very much doubt it. Don't worry, OP. Why change something you don't want to change for someone else? If your boyfriend can't accept you the way you are, then tell him to piss off. There are plenty of guys out there who don't give two hoots about what color their girlfriend's butt hole is.
skyeyez9 25
His excuse would be "I am a man, therefore allowed to have a dark and hairy asshole. But girls are supposed to have pretty pink ones that smell like a flowery meadow after a spring rain."
DivineSunshine 1
Break up with him!!! He is a jerk.
momo1972 3
Lol hahaha lol hahahe
Solipsist 12
I don't think the issue here is whether it's an easy thing for OP to do, or If it's the same as colouring your hair or not. I think the real issue is, as a society, how far a we going to let the "line" go. We as a society create constructs of beauty, which of course will develop and change as time but we need to consider how far we should let that construct go, the concept of beauty is becoming more and more extreme.. We continue to move the line closer to a manufactured beauty, not just make up or hair dye, but surgery and in this case bleaching, we are creating needs where in my opinion, there shouldn't be one, an anus shouldnt be required to be pale.
Solipsist 12
I think the real issue is, as a society, how far a we going to let the "line" go. We as a society create constructs of beauty, which of course will develop and change as time but we need to consider how far we should let that construct go, the concept of beauty is becoming more and more extreme..
Solipsist 12
(I guess there's a word limit on replies?) we continue to move the line closer to a manufactured beauty, not just make up or hair dye, but surgery and in this case bleaching, we are creating needs where in my opinion, there shouldn't be one, an anus shouldnt be required to be pale.
Solipsist 12
urgh sorry, don't know why there's so many copies of my comments, it won't let me type more than a few lines :-/
RavingRavyn 4
Lolz
onorexveritas 24
what an ignorant asshole