Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend doggy-style. I was getting close when he suddenly blurts out, "Babe, you really need to bleach your asshole." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I tried to tease my boyfriend by pulling my skirt up, bending over, and backing up into him. He gagged and said, "Please, wash your ass." FML
Today, I was getting dirty with my boyfriend. It was the first time he had fingered anyone, and the only thing he said was, "It feels like the inside of my asshole." FML
Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. Right as I was really getting into it, he pauses, frowns, and says, "I think I see the pee hole." FML
Today, I was having hot sex with my boyfriend. Then, I felt a puff of air hit my face and a rancid smell. My dog had farted in my face. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I tried to have sex, but every time he thrust into me, he farted. Loud, smelly, wet farts. After a minute, I shoved him off and demanded he take a dump. After a full five minutes of loud diarrhea, he came back to bed, his ass stinking of sewage. My pussy dried up so fast… FML
Today, during sex, my boyfriend found it appropriate to tell me he loves "how bad" I smell. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were messing around in his car. I then decided I was going to give him a blowjob for the first time. As I was going down, he grabbed my chin and said, "Don't do that, your mouth isn't clean enough." FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It was all going great until he decided to try talking dirty. His idea of this was moaning loudly, "Just what the pussy ordered" as he entered me. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. I grabbed his butt to control his thrusts and got a clump of used toilet paper. FML
Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, he started pretending he was a dog. This included barking, licking my face, and scratching his ears. FML
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Top comments
ClassyCommando 13
It's an asshole, what the **** does he expect it to look like? If he cares that much about bleaching assholes, he should bleach himself for being one.
shadowsorel 15
How the **** do you bleach an asshole?
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Comments (280)
skyeyez9 25
Assholes are meant to get rid of waste. It isn't supposed to look like snow white's soft rosy cheeks. If he insists, tell your BF to Pay for your butt bleaching. I wouldn't pay out of pocket since he is the one that wants it. He may change his mind if he has to pay for it.
skyeyez9 25
I would also suggest along with paying for yours, that he should also bleach his as well. I doubt he'd set foot in a salon and spread ''em for this humiliating treatment, but expect you do go thru.
fukmefreddy 4
60 - when did you become the bona fide, relationship master at age sixteen? it's great that you have standards, and feminist empowerment, but maybe some of us, myself and 39 included, enjoy healthy relationships based on compromise and honesty... btw, I bet your brown eye could use some bleach... oh wait, that's your mouth all that crap is coming out of, sorry.
WrongRomance 11
Good job commenting oon the thread :) It doesn't take an idiot to know that compromise works both ways. As I explained before, he could be the one to compromise as well, not just her. I wish your insult was more clever, as the mouth is a good few inches from the eye sockets.
EyesofStone 27
150, I somehow feel that trying to make your partner make their butthole of all things prettier constitutes a healthy relationship. I feel that all of this compromising stuff should be about lifestyle choices that actually have an affect on them, not physical things you can't change without dangerous chemicals. I would never ask my girlfriend to change her appearence and I hopeshe wouldn't ask that of me. Further, there's a difference between saying "You'd look really cute with blond hair," and "You really need to go blond," since we're comparing dying hair to bleaching your butthole...
DjeePee 25
I can't help it, but I keep reading: "blahblahblah... some of us enjoy healthy relationships based on bleached buttholes." Also, stop bitching about 158's age. She's smart at her age and you're dumb at yours. Now go back watching your marvellous white butthole in a mirror.
WrongRomance 11
Thanks DjeePee :) I don't understand why a 39 year old who goes by "fukmefreddy" and shortens 'by the way' to 'btw' has the right to challenge my intellect, or relationship ideals. I not once have stated I was a "bona fide" relationship master. I simply think there are ways of compromising things healthily, and asking, not telling, would be a good start.
Jannali97 4
That's some sick twisted shit
ElishaisSexy2016 9
I didn't know that was even possible O.O
droln4maltesers 8
Is that so? Cause it sounds like he's the only asshole that needs bleaching.
Szaszaspasz 26
Tell him the closest thing to bleaching you are willing to do is using white TP for your bungholio. Seriously, what a way to torpedo a person's self-confidence. There is a better time and place to suggest bleaching one's asshole. WTF! You can say you would bleach him, but you need a lot of Bleach to completely submerge him.
xrosevertx 4
Wrong time to say something like that, shouldn't have been said in the first place. Don't change yourself for anyone! They should love you for you, flaws and all.
kate3101 15
Seriously, I think if young men watched less **** they might have more realistic expectations of what women's bodies look like. Anal bleaching is gross, potentially hazardous and serves absolutely no purpose other than to satisfy someone else's strange idea of what you should look like.
the_true_batman 10
I wouldn't say just men, but I do agree with the idea that most people's bodies are not the same as **** stars.
DatRealAssTruth 3
Lol whos asshole jsnt bleached wat r u a neanderthal?
stoptrying 9
A lot of chicks don't. But at least you've proven that **** is the only time you'll see a woman naked.
UrMomzCooch 3
It booty must be pretty ****** up if he had to stop during Sex to tell u that