Today, I was having breakfast when my mom's boyfriend came and sat right across from me. He didn't try and hide the fact that he was staring at my chest and told me, "Wow, you're getting bigger." I glared at him. He winked at me. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my mother, her fiancé, and I were having dinner together. My mother was joking that she wasn't sure she could hold him down, as he used to "get around." She turned to talk to the waiter and my future step-father looked me up and down and winked. FML
Today, as I was opening the door for my boyfriend, I pressed my boobs against the glass to make him laugh. I didn't see his dad standing just behind him at first, but he certainly saw me. FML
Today, I sat next to my crush in class in a very loose, low-hanging shirt in the front (my mother had made me wear it, I didn't want to), and I felt so giddy because he kept staring at me in shock. No, not because I'm so beautiful, but because my boobs were hanging out. FML
Today, I went on a first date with a guy I really like. He brought up that there was a person staring at us from a nearby table. That person was my mom. FML
Today, while having dinner with my boyfriend's family, his mom told me that it looks like I've gained quite some weight. When my boyfriend told her that this was a rude thing to say, she said it wasn't rude, just the truth. FML
Today, I was with my dad at the supermarket and this guy was checking me out. My dad yells at him with a grin, "I know! I make beautiful babies!" FML
Today, the guy I've had a crush on came over to my house. My Dad came in to see how we we're doing, looks at me and says "Man... You've REALLY been puttin' on the pounds!", pokes me in the stomach a few times, and leaves. FML
Today, I went to a family dinner. While waiting to be seated, a guy walked by and I looked to see if he was hot. Then my grandma yelled, "Get your eyeballs back in your head and quit staring at boys!" The whole restaurant heard her. Including the guy. And yes, he was hot. FML
Today, I was eating at a restaurant in town, when a small boy started looking at me. I simply smiled and went back to eating, only to hear out of the corner of my ear, "Daddy, why does that kid's face look like that"? He said it so loud, the three tables next to us turned and looked. FML
Today, I was invited to my boyfriend's house for dinner for the first time. His mom made a fantastic dinner, so I showed my appreciation by eating the lot. Apparently I was overdoing it because when I looked up everyone was staring. His dad muttered, "Slow the hell down." FML
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Top comments
Arcterion 0
Punch the ****** and let your mom know just what a winner she's dating.
Pacmans_Homicide 0
Tell your mother?
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Comments (207)
Topsy_fml 0
What's that up in the sky? Is it a bird? Is it a plane? NO! It's PEDO BEAR!!!
Vagrarian 2
YDI for eating breakfast.
nihilanth 0
YDI FOR BEING A MAN'S OBJECT
bexox 0
Great idea until you get a view of your mom having sexy time with her boyfriend in the living room.
bubblybrooke 12
EWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!! okay, tell your mom. if she doesn't believe you, call the cops. he WILL try something eventually. so keep yourself out of that position and get him arrested, or at least a restraining order. ewwwwwwwwwwww what a perv. if ur mum doesn't believe it, move out and live with ur dad/ grandparents/ friend/ get a job and an appartment that's just SO nasty. ick. good luck
bubblybrooke 12
and no, ccyto, it's not incest. cuz incest is blood relations, ie. brother, sister, mother, father, aunt, uncle, etc... not mothers boyfriend. duh.
kyle4321 0
Before and After pictures please? I need proof of this growth.
giggity0giggity 0
wow, you WOULD be like that. you kinda make jandersoniii seem tame... oh wait, no u dont.
MagicMarker 0
Wow, that's disgusting. You should let your mom know what a disgusting/sexually harassing douche she's dating.
defensivekick 0
What does OP mean
Phillay632 0
Did you hit it?