Today, I was eating at a restaurant in town, when a small boy started looking at me. I simply smiled and went back to eating, only to hear out of the corner of my ear, "Daddy, why does that kid's face look like that"? He said it so loud, the three tables next to us turned and looked. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my coworker and I were sitting and eating lunch. We noticed a little kid kept staring at us, and every time we looked away he would come a little bit closer. When he was right behind us, I looked and was startled enough to jump. The parents were three tables down, laughing uncontrollably. FML
Today, I was at a restaurant when I made eye contact with a baby across the room. It smiled at me, so I smiled back. The baby immediately started screaming. Everyone stared at me like I'd just threatened it. FML
Today, I was grocery shopping, feeling good about myself, until when I was waiting in line at the checkout, a small kid in his mother's arms in front turned to look straight at me and said, "Ewwwww." FML
Today, I was working at a day care center. A 5 year old boy came up to me telling me he wanted to eat my face. Confused, I asked him why. He said, "Because your face looks like pizza." FML
Today, I was at a restaurant when I heard a young girl telling her father she didn't think she was pretty. When I got up to leave, I walked past her table and told her she was beautiful. Her dad then punched me in the face. FML
Today, while shopping for groceries, a small child pointed at my face and exclaimed : "DOGGIE!" FML
Today, I was with my dad at the supermarket and this guy was checking me out. My dad yells at him with a grin, "I know! I make beautiful babies!" FML
Today, while at a restaurant, my 4 year-old son pointed at a lady and exclaimed, “Mom, her butt is even bigger than yours!” FML
Today, I ate at a friend's house. Her 5-year-old son, who was at the table with us, looked at me and said quietly, "You're ugly." My friend told him off, causing him to cry, and shout, "But she isn't pretty!" FML
Today, at work, a little girl was misbehaving. Her dad told her that she would look like me when she grows up. The little girl look horrified while Daddy laughed and kept reassuring her he was "just kidding." FML
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Top comments
thewalrus421 0
'out of the corner of your ear?'
CaptainPat 0
Well, maybe he asked that because you have pointy ears with corners. And was wondering why he didn't have corners in his ears.
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Comments (47)
GameDragonEXE 0
"Because your dad touches you at night while you sleep, that's why." Easy said, easy done.
KyoshiroT 32
I don't even get to see what he said because I'm 7 years late.
Kylaisnefarious 20
Jesus. I'm 10 years late.
thewalrus421 0
'out of the corner of your ear?'
b182link 0
that's what I was thinking. I've never heard that before
nitrogirl 0
I'm pretty sure it's cornner of my EYE not ear
Chocolate_Chunk 2
of course. don't we all use our eyes to hear stuff?
ellen_daly 0
hahahahahhahaha totally
gorina 0
I'm pretty sure it's cornier, not cornner.
anna15243 6
yeah you use your ear to hear stuff right? not your eyes ya dumbass!
SpicyDuck 22
47 was only correcting the phrase knowing it doesn't work in this sentence. But really, corner of your ear? When you see something from the corner of your eye that's generally where your line of sight ends, like a corner. You can't see behind you unless you turn around. You can hear things all around you, so your hearing has no corners..
fingersforteeth 0
there's no comeback to little kids haha
blankaex 0
'There must be something wrong with your eyes' *Cry* That counts as a comeback .
amelinat 0
#2 Have you not heard of peripheral hearing? You are right though, ears are round an don't have corners. OP Kids say stupid things, I'll bet the nosey people that turned to look we're all 'what the hell? whos face looks like what now?'
seymourlilly17 0
eyes don't have corners... think about it
Seegtease 0
I bet the OP has some deformity on the face. The kid isn't going to say that unless you really looked weird. Sucks.
drinkupgorgeous 0
Don't let little kids bring you down.
Bubs_fml 0
I've said it before and I'll say it again: Ah, to be a kid before you learn social skills.
Uconnrunner 0
That is why I tell my girlfriend I am never having kids! they are just terrible and I would just punch the little asshole in the face.
itsalyssabitch 1
ouch
aqmalone 21
or maybe you can just teach them not to be like that? sure, kids sometimes say things they probably shouldn't, but a lot of it is what the kid learns from its parents
CaptainPat 0
Well, maybe he asked that because you have pointy ears with corners. And was wondering why he didn't have corners in his ears.
candygurl91 0
Ahahahaa! #1 your hilarious xD but really, you must look kinda funny or something. sorry you had you hear it from a little kid rofl awkward