Today, I was hanging out with the guy I like. All of a sudden, he pulls out a small vial of his blood to give to me, proving his undying love. Curious, I asked where he had gotten the blood. His answer? A razor blade. In his nose. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was making out with this guy when my nose started bleeding, and it got on his face. FML
Today, I was fooling around with my boyfriend in his room. He grabbed me behind the head to pull me in for a hard, romantic kiss. He accidentally smashed my nose into his cheekbone, and my nose started gushing blood and continued to bleed for over 2 hours. It's broken, and he just laughed. FML
Today, while volunteering to feed the homeless, one of them asked me to follow him to his car where he had a knife and bottle so he could "bottle up my blood". FML
Today, I saw a cute guy walking out of a restaurant. When he saw me, he smiled and to be a bit flirty I bit my lip. Too bad it started to bleed like hell. FML
Today, I wound up in hospital because my boyfriend covered my face in fake gore while I was sleeping, to see if I was really as scared of blood as I claimed. Sure enough, when I saw my reflection in the bathroom mirror, I fainted, smashing my head against the counter on the way down. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate in an alley. He pushed me up against a wall and started kissing me, but he pushed me so hard I cut open my head and needed 10 stitches. FML
Today, the guy I've been crushing on for years and I finally went on a date. While on the date, he threw up in my purse and stuck tampons up his nose. FML
Today, my boyfriend had his arm around me. He pulled me closer, so I looked up, thinking maybe he wanted a kiss. Turns out he was picking his nose over my head. FML
Today, while at work, I managed to scrape open the inside of my nose with my fingernail, drawing blood in the process. I had to quickly up an explanation for my scream that didn't go: "Well, I was scouting for boogers..." FML
Today, my boyfriend was telling me about accidentally punching his best friend in the face. As he was acting it out he ended up punching me and giving me a bloody nose. FML
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Top comments
biggary19 3
looks like u found a keeper lol
lilspike2231 5
Then give him period blood.....jk lmao
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Comments (229)
biggary19 3
looks like u found a keeper lol
Bakayarou_fml 0
This "keeper" can now receive a monthly vial of blood from her as proof of HER love :D
aardvarkish 17
Red Wings!
mismonroe 0
Have you earned yours?
MissBunny25 0
aw that's sweet..
bowchickawowbone 0
Ah, true love.<3
haha1494 0
win
ydi_4_suking 20
as soon as i would have heard the my first reaction would be dropping it... whatever happened to those dumb friendship braclets or something else... HIV in a vial
Queene2599 6
op should be happy that he loves her and can prove it too lmao!:p
hyper2theMax 0
ppp
bubble25_fml 5
hey, nothing says "I love you" more than a vial of blood!
lasapa 2
especially if it's nose blood
iSitt 0
take his blood and make a clone. train it to be your slave. then kill the original and put the clone in his place. Profit!
bowchickawowbone 0
Love hurts.
radicaloser 6
Yes, that sounds like a grand idea!
RileyFerrari 0
TIGER BLOOD!
AceArctic 4
135 - A severed ear does! 141 - You're going about this all wrong. After she clones him she trains him to be her sex slave, then invites the original over and then they can have a fun night!
JazzHandsFML 28
keeper sounds like keep running and don't stop
FlashBurn 13
That's creepy... though I guess he could always have been trying to shave his nose hairs.
Bbhd05 0
Aw how sweet :) he knows how to please a woman for sure.
karbl058 2
Get out while you can.
MissBunny25 0
give him some blood back, you ungrateful bitch
BayBeezy 0
sadistic muhfucka..... I'd give him his own blood with a quick right hook. knock his creepy ass out
TayonaC 10
I love your dog, it's cute
josephhhhhh 0
#123 I love your dog its......ugly as ****
kinga08 0
Run as fast as you can in the opposite direction! Now!
sophsoph17 0
I don't have a facebook either
fluorescentadole_fml 8
me either, youtube and windows messenger are good enough
mylifesucksserio 15
ruuuuuunnnnnn
MEF62 5
run run as fast as you can!!
Dennisse_47 17
You can't catch me! I'm the gingerbread man!!! :D
SulfurPlague 0
win^
mmcb14 4
At least he didn't say it was Tiger Blood ;)
g_willikers24 17
ha! #winning
Xxak907xX 0
You're a total bitchin' rockstar from mars! lol
JosherMan 0
Or a rockstar vatican assassin
sarapsosis 1
LMAAOO ^ your pic is killing me, every time I see that damn pedoseal I die lol so frickin creepy
meowmeowgirl 0
119- I think your profile picture is the best!
davex 0
Bi-winning!
ChantelRenaeee 0
niiice...... now back away slowly.....,,,
lilspike2231 5
Then give him period blood.....jk lmao
jackien1 6
oh that would be awesome.
sarapsosis 1
lmao that hilarious
KMilliron 2
There is actually a "feminine hygiene product" that some women use to catch, rather than absorb, period blood. Found said product in my stepmoms bathroom. Scarred for life.
morgs1213 4
#81 should we be concerned or horrified?
KMilliron 2
Both?
tippy_pink89 2
ha, you found her diva cup? those things freak me out too, lol.
KMilliron 2
I died a little on the inside.
MEF62 5
Those cups are disgusting!!
dropdead16 0
what the he'll is a diva cup??? I've never heard of tht?? what?!?!?
Killuhk 8
Mortified
techweed 12
scary....you should run away as fast as you can, wait that might provoke him in that case do this^
blo0_starZz 0
First time I hear a Saudi talk English that good. & I live in Kuwait o.o
RockstarRN 10
Gross!!
aardvarkish 17
Oh, come on! In some countries, that's considered next to a proposal.
britt93 7
and in some OTHER countries it's considered weird! :)