Today, while at work, I managed to scrape open the inside of my nose with my fingernail, drawing blood in the process. I had to quickly up an explanation for my scream that didn't go: "Well, I was scouting for boogers..." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I reached to pick out a booger stuck in my nose that had been irritating me, and ended up poking myself in the eye. FML
Today, I was picking my nose so aggressively that I flicked a booger right into my eye. FML
Today, I had a nosebleed at work after having recent surgery. As I was walking to the bathroom, I tripped and fell, sending blood splattering everywhere. My manager, who was walking by, looked at me and said, “You’re really committed to the bit.” I was too embarrassed to respond. FML
Today, I had the longest, bloodiest, bloody nose ever when I was at work. I got blood on a few materials as I was running to the restroom. I work in a food factory, so everything had to be sanitized and thrown out. Now management wants me to pay for everything we had to throw out. FML
Today, I got so bored that I drew a face on my index finger, and made a video of me garrotting it with a string. I ended up rupturing a blood vessel, and had to think up a cover story for my girlfriend to explain my screaming. FML
Today, I got a painful scratch on my nose. Nasty kitty? Nope. I never imagined a dried booger stuck in my handkerchief could be this hard and this sharp. FML
Today, I cut my finger at work while chopping some vegetables. I grabbed the nearest rag I could to stop the bleeding and put it on the cut. I didn't know the rag had just been used to clean up a lemon juice spill. FML
Today, while observing a surgery, I was asked to open a glass ampule of adrenaline. Not only did I break it and get it everywhere, I sliced open my thumb bad enough to need stitches. FML
Today, I was with a wedding party getting manicures. I absentmindedly used a freshly-painted nail to pick my nose and ended up with two beauticians scraping indestructible bright red gel varnish out of my left nostril with acetone soaked q-tips, while everyone sat waiting in complete silence. FML
Today, I dropped some glass at my job while putting it on the shelf. A shard bounced off the floor and went up my nose. FML
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Top comments
zoPwNAgEzo 21
Jeez, how deep were you scouting?
alexup24 13
You must trim your fingernails brethren.
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Comments (90)
zoPwNAgEzo 21
Jeez, how deep were you scouting?
iBanana 17
I'd not call that scouting.. Cave-mining would be a better term. Those bogeys are going to go the same way Katniss' dad did. Sigh..
iBanana 17
I'd not call that scouting.. Cave-mining would be a better term. Those bogeys are going to go the same way Katniss' dad did. Sigh..
iBanana 17
How the hell did that happen.. MODS PLEASE!?!?
igive 29
maybe she had a whistler and went in to make sure
iPeterPan 8
iBanana; HAHAHHAHAHAHHHAHHAHAHAHAHHA Iove you
katiedoll6 7
10. Ur comment made me literally lol I am now getting a lot of weird looks I'm sitting in a very fancy restaurant so LOLOLOL
ugh_a_lug 7
Hmm... iBanana, igive, and iPeterPan all commented in one thread one after the other... Interesting... Very interesting...
CsHx 16
Haha use a tissue maybe?
a_purple_orange 4
Or her boyfriends wall...
babygirl_015 11
Disgusting
Roevera 14
Not really.. Just means she likes a clean nose. I've had plenty of times fighting with a tissue before I finally gave up and got it out myself. =P
ShyAnn29 15
Same here
mariah_2014 0
Idiot
YurLyfeSucks 0
Scouting, indeed
alexup24 13
You must trim your fingernails brethren.
MysticKnight 3
She is not your brethren you n00b face.
DogsPaw 16
He is not a n00b face... What ever the **** that is...
CoffeeChickBlows 13
Hey Dogspaw, calm the **** down, fuckface.
MysticKnight 3
Look at his face and tell me he's not a n00b you son of a n00tch.
Amethyst888 14
Okay honestly what is a n00b face or a n00tch? I'm actually mildly curious now, are they like curse word substitutes, new curse words, or maybe just martian curse words you picked up while on their alien spaceship?
iceman420son 7
It's geek shit
MysticKnight 3
54- Cool story babe.
therentis2danghi 2
The amount of assholes in this thread is TOO DAMN HIGH!
XHerobrineX 4
54-Well... A n00b is gamer slang for newbie. So n00b face must mean a new face.... Plastic surgery???? n00tch could be a misspelling of Notch, the god, (creator of minecraft). So, to conclude, n00b face=someone who had plastic surgery on their face and n00tch= a god. Now you know!
beaute_fatale 5
fck geeks their all morons and gamers ppl who thinks they know it all
indy316 0
ahaha wow, way to repeatedly prove to be a major dick, 58! "n00tch"... was that you trying to be clever? i have a strong desire to punch your face. hmm.
XHerobrineX 4
Random bloody nose? Just saw it and was screaming at the blood? People might buy that. :D
kill_me_now7 2
You genuinely helped... Wow you are a nice person..
thebeautybleeds 17
I would suggest saying you had a really bad itch.
MidnaLink 35
32 nice suggestion. Happened to me once, when I was sleeping. Not pretty.
MidnaLink 35
Did I say 32? I meant 8. Sorry 32...
XHerobrineX 4
I try ;) Probably a little too late now, but next time it happens he'll have an excuse. (I would not recommend that there be a next time though....)
Finnick_fml 12
Why would you pick your nose somewhere in public..? If there are people close enough to notice your scream and ask about it, then chances are your fingers shouldn't be up your nose. :P
diidiimi 10
True, do it while sitting in traffic like the rest of us.
bieberfreak18 0
Katniss & peeta, Cato & clove, finnick& annie !
egc573 40
How hard were you scratching? Damn. And if you really feel the need to explain this, you could just be as indirect as possible: "the mucus quest went bad", or something. Or even, "Had an accident." Or maybe you could use the old standby: "None of your business."
tennisrapper1 14
And THATS why you don't be totally gross and use a tissue if you pick your nose! Best if you do it in the bathroom as well! :P