Today, while volunteering to feed the homeless, one of them asked me to follow him to his car where he had a knife and bottle so he could "bottle up my blood". FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, after volunteering all day at the homeless shelter, I was mugged on my way to my car. FML
Today, as I was out walking, one homeless man sitting with two others asked me for something to eat. Trying to do a good deed, I bought the three men a bag of apples. They then fought viciously over them before the first man chased me for handing them to "the wrong one." FML
Today, I was carefully drawing blood from a drunk who'd threatened to kill me if I hurt him, when another drunk behind me decided to take a piss on my leg. FML
Today, at the soup kitchen I volunteer at, a guy called the food crap and threatened to shove his bowl up my ass if I didn't give him something better. FML
Today, I was hanging out with the guy I like. All of a sudden, he pulls out a small vial of his blood to give to me, proving his undying love. Curious, I asked where he had gotten the blood. His answer? A razor blade. In his nose. FML
Today, I volunteered at a soup kitchen. During the rounds, a grisly but nice young fellow told me that I had beautiful eyes. I was quite touched; that is until he leaned in and added, "Can I have them for my collection?" FML
Today, I accidentally asked a one-armed man which arm he wanted me to take blood from. He asked for a different nurse. FML
Today, while I was volunteering at the homeless shelter, one of them "accidentally" kissed me. It felt like my face was being sucked by a vacuum. FML
Today, on the train, I was bitten by a homeless man. FML
Today, I decided to help the homeless by giving them old clothes and food. In return, they decided to mug me. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
coolmike699 26
Everyone knows you don't use a knife to make blood bottles, you use a dirty syringe. Knives are for blood buckets, or maybe blood jars, but that's it.
brianna1494 27
1. They're family is either dead or not around. 2. The family also does not have the fortune of money. 3. People can be homeless and not be criminals. 4. They can be homeless because they're single and they're job fell through. 5. Do I need to go much further? I mean seriously, have these thoughts just NEVER crossed you mind?
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (20)
Sparx1_1 16
Homeless people are usually homeless for a reason. Why do you think their friends and family aren't helping them?
brianna1494 27
1. They're family is either dead or not around. 2. The family also does not have the fortune of money. 3. People can be homeless and not be criminals. 4. They can be homeless because they're single and they're job fell through. 5. Do I need to go much further? I mean seriously, have these thoughts just NEVER crossed you mind?
GhostFox 34
A huge chunk of people that are homeless are homeless because thy either have a disability, or a disorder. People with mental health disorders are way more likely to end up on the street because they can't provide for them self, their family can't provide for them, or the family doesn't WANT to provide for them. There is also a surprising number of people that choose to live on the streets rather than at a homeless shelter because they feel safer. Asking for blood seems more like it indicates a mental illness than out of malice. There's nothing wrong with helping homeless people- especially those with mental disorders- as long as you do it safely.
CantTouchThat 29
Brianna, you spelt "Their" wrong. Without proper grammar you might be homeless one day.
Sparx1_1 16
Live beside a homeless shelter for couple of years, so you can see what goes on 24/7, and not just at dinner on your 2 hour volunteer shift and then we'll talk. It's easy to invent a "gosh darn down on his luck fella who just needs a hand up" fantasy image when you don't have to watch the guy you just served dinner to, go shoot up, throw his needle where your kids play, and then beat the shit out of his girlfriend in the middle of the street for getting him shitty drugs because he didn't get as high as he wanted to. Lovely people.
GhostFox 34
And for most people, drug addiction follows a major trauma or started as an attempt to self medicate. And that's excluding people that were forcibly addicted to drugs- by parents, other family, abusive partners, or to keep someone working the sex trade dependent on their "manager." Yes, some homeless people are shitty, but it's highly unlikely that the ratio of shitty human beings that are homeless is much higher than the rate of shitty human beings with homes. The ones that are homeless are more visible in their shiftiness, whereas in the other category it occurs behind closed doors. Also, considering that pretty much all cities try to strip away every bit of support for the homeless, it's not exactly the easiest for someone who is homeless to get help even if they want it.
RichardPencil 32
I hope you didn't.
Glowworm56 27
Even vampires can become homeless.
coolmike699 26
Everyone knows you don't use a knife to make blood bottles, you use a dirty syringe. Knives are for blood buckets, or maybe blood jars, but that's it.
coolmike699 26
Everyone knows you don't use a knife to make blood bottles, you use a dirty syringe. Knives are for blood buckets, or maybe blood jars, but that's it.
YourDanny 1
You... I like you
idk_rose 25
Wow. Dracula must have gotten into some deep shit if he's homeless now.
hunterseal 18
Since you posted this,I am assuming you are OK. Lots of homeless people aren't mentally stable,just keep yourself safe and possibly if you can contact or inform his social worker.
Xynie 20
Dammit Jerry, i told you stop telling everyone about our secret playground!
wickedgetz 30
wow bottled blood, sounds like an Angelina fetish he has there
raven_of_azarath 35
Is no one else wondering why a homeless man has a car?
GhostFox 34
Because you can live AND drive in a car, but you can't drive a house. Less snarkily, he probably lives out of it by parking in out of the way areas. Assuming the car is real and not part of his mental disorder, that is.