Today, I saw a cute guy walking out of a restaurant. When he saw me, he smiled and to be a bit flirty I bit my lip. Too bad it started to bleed like hell. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was trying to flirt with the guy I like using body language, so I leaned over this counter in a sensual way. I happened to have a fork, so I went to bite the tip that sexy way people do in movies. I accidentally stabbed myself in the lip, cutting it. My lunch had jalapeños in it. FML
Today, I was making out with this guy when my nose started bleeding, and it got on his face. FML
Today, I went to a dance and saw a really cute guy. Glow sticks were everywhere, so trying to be cute, I took a broken one and dripped some of the glowing liquid on my chest. It made him notice me, but only for him to point out that I'd managed to cut myself and was bleeding badly. FML
Today, while on a date with the guy of my dreams, I cut my tongue so bad it bled for an hour. I managed to cut it on the plastic spoon from my coffee. FML
Today, I went to the grocery store. I saw a very cute guy in the aisle and smiled. He smiled back and blushed a little. He walked over and I flirted with him. He said, "I thought you should know the zipper on your jeans is down" and walked away. It was. FML
Today, I was on the couch, about to make out with the guy I've been dating. As soon as our lips touched, my overprotective dog ran up and bit him. He bled. FML
Today, I was on my third date with this really cute girl. After a very romantic evening, I decided to go for the first kiss, but because of my nervous reflex in which I get bloody noses, I ended up bleeding all over her face. FML
Today, I was at a fancy restaurant. I was drinking some water when I noticed a hot guy eating alone at another table waving at me. I smiled back, but had forgotten to swallow the water so it dribbled out of my mouth all over my shirt. FML
Today, I was sitting with my crush at lunch. Trying to flirt, I tried to stare seductively into his eyes while sucking on my straw. I missed. The straw shot straight up my nose, causing me the worst nose bleed of my life. FML
Today, while at Costco, I was eating a hotdog when I saw a really hot guy walking over. Trying to be sexy, I bit my hotdog cutely and winked. I ended up choking and dropping the ketchup covered hotdog all over my lap. FML
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Top comments
Welshite 40
Let's just hope he's a vampire.
baseballbv 17
Cover your mouth with your hand like you're smiling shyly. It's cute.
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Comments (56)
Welshite 40
Let's just hope he's a vampire.
baseballbv 17
Hopefully not the Edward Cullen type...
Welshite 40
Edward Cullen doesn't deserve to be called a vampire. He was just a long-lived carnivore with a fondness of glitter.
cakefete2 31
I'd call him a fairy, but that would be degrading to Tinkerbell.
False_Stupidity 42
You can't really liken him to anything without insulting the other.
MrConcise 35
He was ashamed of his glitteriness, he didn't like it. Let's just say he was fond of teen angst despite being ancient.
baseballbv 17
Cover your mouth with your hand like you're smiling shyly. It's cute.
angeluv_2014 22
Seriously! Damn girl... use some chap stick!
feven 32
Or just lick ur lips. That's pretty seductive
jeffandjeff 22
That bites.
hacksaw246 24
Sorry Op.. But haven't people learned by now that everytime you flirt it winds up on FML
littlekellilee 45
You're a damsel in distress now. I hope he came over and helped!
Arathis 19
I guess that was a bloody mistake haha... I'm not British.
DogeMan 14
Lol ur squirtle pic like like he's a pedifile
stevothedevo 25
#33 that genuinely made me laugh.. for some ****** up reason.
cailey1234567890 24
Well thats unfortunate
tony1891 22
you're a biter then huh? kinky
demonhunter3220 14
Ooohh shoulda gone with the hair flip. Less blood that way... XD
marcranger 29
OP would've likely managed to give herself a black eye.
RusticChick 27
Ouch.. How does one bite themselves that hard when trying to be cute? Cute biting is more like a soft bite/nibble.
LowExpectations 30
OP was just too busy... Being delicious.
Brandi_Faith 34
I agree, I don't think I could draw blood if I wanted to, it would be too painful. I don't understand how she but her lip that hard just trying to be cute.