Today, I was given a lapdance by a pregnant stripper. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Today, at my bachelorette party, I got so wasted, I ended up giving my stripper a lap dance because he "wasn't doing it properly". There's photos. FML
Get out of here
Today, my girlfriend hated the idea of sex so much she was willing to give me money for a stripper. FML
Today, I found out I'm pregnant. My husband reacted by going out and smoking weed, then getting completely shitfaced, and having his buddies drag his nearly-comatose carcass back home from a strip club. FML
Today, I walked in on my dad giving my mom a striptease. FML
Today, I was at the bar. A man started to hit on me. He claims to have a fetish for pregnant women. I'm not pregnant. FML
Life goals
Today, my daughter told me she wants to be a stripper when she grows up, just like "Daddy's girlfriend." We're still married. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me she was pregnant. We haven't had sex yet. FML
Today, I was at the strip club. I put my dollar on the stage. When the stripper came over to take it, she stood me up and flipped my tits and said I had bigger ones than her. I'm a guy. FML
Rookie mistake
Today, I found out the girl I lost my virginity to during prom night is pregnant with my kid. FML
Today, I found out that my parents bought a stripper pole, my mom even hired a stripper to teach her some "moves." I'm scared to go in their room now. FML
Top comments
cameronman9 2
Does this pregnant stripper happen to be your wife?
comedybreak 20
This is why safe sex is important Guys, learn. But seriously OP it's your fault for letting her
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Comments (249)
GingerPanda94 6
That's what you get for going to a club next to the train tracks...
JaysFanStu 3
Was she grinding extra hard (giggity) because her hormones were raging and she was extra horny?
righound 0
Well at least u know she *****
phatdaddy62 23
Are you 13?
tehdarkness 21
Rawfull!!!
JustAGuy107 0
It's always good to try new things. You should do BDSM next.
AzzieC 12
Wow........
br0ccoli 15
Pregnant people need money too! Did you feel the baby kick when she let you motorboat her?
xXRazelleLuniiXx 9
Oh "baby"! ;)
YouJustGotMozzd 0
Threesome? Yay???
xXRazelleLuniiXx 9
With a child? Disgusting, sir.
juls39393 5
You paid her!! Duh...