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FMyLife
Anonymous Clermont, United States 🌶️ Spicy

Today, I was given a lapdance by a pregnant stripper. FML

249

Collection

Fall

Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.

Same thing different taste

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Top comments

cameronman9 2

Does this pregnant stripper happen to be your wife?

comedybreak 20

This is why safe sex is important Guys, learn. But seriously OP it's your fault for letting her

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Comments (249)

JayDeLaGhetto 7

Did you feel the baby kick?

KiddNYC1O 22

Wtf what? #12 asked a legit question.

TColby 12

So I take it you don't have a fetish for pregnant women?

taytoc 10

Two lapdances for the price of one

l23VIVE 17

A funny picture pops into my head when i think of that

BunchieRules 31

95 - Do you mean your funny picture? Because that just popped into my head, and I'm pretty confused now.

pinkpixie06 11

Hey, she's still gotta pay her bills...

ecaso 1

How pregnant? Like she let it slip in the pre song chat pregnant or like if she would have made a wrong move you would have broke her water pregnant?

Harpy20 24

That makes all the difference when it comes to which "goo" ends up on his pants: her's or his. Or both...

Enslaved 38

Some guys are into that. Huge breast and round curves! And the idea of her being polluted with another man's child! Go figure!

reddudeover 2

19 - First two things are right. I'll add lactation and I think it has more to do with them not being able to get pregnant. So the guys don't use protection (which is stupid because of std's).

Sammy_Flowers 0

74-Not all protection protects against STDs

I_Punch_Babies 7

did something (or someone) fall out while she was dancing?

Amethyst888 14

No. If that were to have happened the FML would have gone more like this: "Today I was given a lap dance from a pregnant stripper. And she gave birth on top of me. FML"

evilplatypus 39

61 - I think that would be FML hall of fame material right there.

Myo_fml 20

It wouldn't be possible. If you haven't noticed, women are in labor for hours, not a few seconds while jiggling around in OP's lap.

Vaginabutter 15

103 - Apparently you never watched the show "I never knew I was pregnant"!

mhopper 13

112, that show gives me nightmares!!!

charvisioku 22

"I punch babies" Best username ever xD

Myo_fml 20

Those women are in labor for extended periods as well, they just don't know what the pain means. I think the show should be renamed "too stupid to realize that my period stopped coming".

courtneyann211 10

My mom was labor for literally 30 minutes. Not even fully dilated, and contractions 8-10 minutes apart. Same thing with all my aunts. So not all women have a long labor.

ChazzyWazzy1998 10

160- Some women have regular periods all the way through a pregnancy, it's rare, but it happens.

CaroAurelia 12

It wasn't uncommon for my mum to miss a couple of months of periods at a time because they were so light, so she didn't realize she was pregnant with me until five months. (She also didn't have morning sickness or anything like that.) I feel like after that, though, you start to notice something is up.

cookie_crumble89 11

Why didn't you leave?!

FML_14u2c 14

"Why didn't you leave?!" (Her man probably did...)

esines 9

He had a boner

ICastillo 25

At least you didn't go on C-section Tuesday's. Let me tell you what that is not the strip clubs A squad.

ICastillo 25

Na but I've seen a pregnant stripper dance hahaha

HotelGuy 10

Dude be happy you technically got a second lap dance for free

Vaginabutter 15

From a minor you pedobear!

GothicAngel17 24

Vaginabutter. That username made my day.