Anonymous
Clermont, United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I was given a lapdance by a pregnant stripper. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
sexyfreak2510
South Africa
Today, at my bachelorette party, I got so wasted, I ended up giving my stripper a lap dance because he "wasn't doing it properly". There's photos. FML
Cpt Colin
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Get out of here
Today, my girlfriend hated the idea of sex so much she was willing to give me money for a stripper. FML
Anonymous
Groningen, Netherlands
Today, I found out I'm pregnant. My husband reacted by going out and smoking weed, then getting completely shitfaced, and having his buddies drag his nearly-comatose carcass back home from a strip club. FML
SCARRED
Kansas City, United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I walked in on my dad giving my mom a striptease. FML
Anonymous
Madison, United States
Today, I was at the bar. A man started to hit on me. He claims to have a fetish for pregnant women. I'm not pregnant. FML
ShayisPay101
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Life goals
Today, my daughter told me she wants to be a stripper when she grows up, just like "Daddy's girlfriend." We're still married. FML
baron
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, my girlfriend told me she was pregnant. We haven't had sex yet. FML
Big B
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I was at the strip club. I put my dollar on the stage. When the stripper came over to take it, she stood me up and flipped my tits and said I had bigger ones than her. I'm a guy. FML
dreamisugly
🌶️ Spicy
Rookie mistake
Today, I found out the girl I lost my virginity to during prom night is pregnant with my kid. FML
kte
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I found out that my parents bought a stripper pole, my mom even hired a stripper to teach her some "moves." I'm scared to go in their room now. FML
Top comments
cameronman9 2
Does this pregnant stripper happen to be your wife?
comedybreak 20
This is why safe sex is important Guys, learn. But seriously OP it's your fault for letting her
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Comments (249)
DespairFaction 11
That's awkward, maybe she will invite you to the birth. Strip clubs are pretty gross.
Amethyst888 14
Why would she invite him to the birth? She doesn't owe him that, he paid for it when he could have just said no.
laden_swallow09 35
And what strip clubs have YOU been going to? o_0?
Epsilonyx 15
I wonder if that could be considered child abuse...
OhDearBetrayal 25
Depending on how far along she is, it may not even be considered a child yet. It would be more accurately be described as "fetus abuse," but let's be serious. Unless she was drinking or smoking, she's not putting it in harms way.
iloveboyswittats 10
Dancing is good exercise. Exercise during pregnancy reduces complications. Just saying...
Cryogenix 12
It's a child from the moment of conception you moron.
OhDearBetrayal 25
175- Oh how I love the narrow minded people who believe their definition is also everyone else's. Read abortion debates and educate yourself about the definition of a child. It's different for everyone.
courtneyann211 10
It technically is a fetus up until a certain point. Yes, it does have a heartbeat after 18 days but I believe it's week 16/17 that they are considered a baby
wildone123 6
R u Mexican boi
OhxNoxYouxDidnt 0
Haha, that sure sounds fun..
desertpunk75 11
That sounds gross. Did her water break on you?
SCBeauty1983 0
Classy! *face, meet palm*
havocmike 3
Strippers are gross. When you grow up, you'll learn this.
Skittles_Rawr 8
That's.. Awkward
jennt89 10
why would you even accept a dance from a preggo stripper... ydi
merrielp 13
That's hot!!!!!
pexy_fml 16
Ur weird
motherlovahh 7
I feel more pitty for the baby. He/she had to participate in a lapdance, before he/she was even born. Unforgettable.