Today, I was eating with my boyfriend and his family at a high-end restaurant when, suddenly, I screamed, thinking a dog had just bitten my leg. I am terrified of dogs. I kicked my under-the-table assailant as hard as I could. It was my boyfriend's adorable five-year-old sister. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I had dinner with my boyfriend's family. His 3-year-old nephew came running for a hug. At the last second, he darted past my arms and bit me on the ass. FML
Today, while I was cooking, my dogs were messing around behind me. I suddenly felt a painful bite on my ass cheek and instinctively kicked back. I then realized it was my 3-year-old daughter, who was laying on the floor crying with a nose bleed. FML
Today, we were having a family dinner with my boyfriend's parents and mine. In the kitchen, when we were getting the food ready, he proposed. I screamed. My dad thought he was hurting me, came in and tased him in the leg. FML
Today, my mom's super spoiled small demon dog attacked my 3 year-old daughter, mauling her leg. Out of instinct, I kicked it away, causing it to fly across the room yelping. I picked up my daughter and took her straight to the hospital, where she got stitches. Later that night, I was greeted with a vet bill. FML
Today, I got bitten by my aunt's dog. My brother was holding the leash. He said he didn't pull the dog away from me because he didn't want to rip my shirt. Meanwhile, the dog was biting a penny-sized chunk out of my hip. FML
Today, the family dog was in the garbage and wouldn't stop eating. He is a large dog, and I had to put my arms around him and pull him out of the trash can. Well, he bit me so hard I was bleeding. My whole family is siding with the dog and saying it was my fault for not letting him eat. FML
Today, a dog bit me, tearing a hole through my sweatpants, my shorts, and my underwear, all to get at the dog treat I'd hidden in my pocket. FML
Today, I was out running. All of a sudden I saw a dog come towards me, I thought it was going to attack me and I screamed like a girl in front of everyone. It was a puppy wanting to play. FML
Today, my sister asked me to let her dog out of the kennel when I got home. I did only to have the little beast bite me. She then ate the entire content of the cat's litter box, which she couldn't keep down. FML
Today, I was on the couch, about to make out with the guy I've been dating. As soon as our lips touched, my overprotective dog ran up and bit him. He bled. FML
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Top comments
Tehalon 0
You did a good job, kids should know its not polite to play under the table in a high-end restaurant. Do wonder why you would think a dog is walking around in a high-end restaurant...
CrimsonKnight 0
It'll teach her not to bite peoples legs or to crawl under tables when your out eating. It'll save her parents trying to teach her.
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Comments (284)
flippinlivesssss 0
why would there be a dog in the restuarant????????????????????/ WHY WOULD THERE BE A LITTLE GIRL UNDER YOUR TABLE... that makes just as much sense as having a dog under the table
analeigh_fml 0
bahahaahahah I just laughed out loud literally for at least 30 seconds. Omg. This wins. Idk if its an fml but its f-ing halarious.
SensFan22 0
You dumbass! You just kicked a little girl. I hope someone kicks you. You're scared of dogs? That's weak.
SantoryuuFelidae 1
my god, shut up! plenty of dogs (think Paris Hilton) are in high end restaurants. also, she is phobic, which means she kicked without thinking. and lastly, dogs kill more people than cougars yearly. weak my ass, a dog could totally rip out your throat. i personally love dogs, but i completely understand how the OP could have made that mistake.
Elleluvssnow 0
wtf was she doing under the table?!?!?!?
Elleluvssnow 0
wtf was she doing under the table?!?!?!?
Wonka_fml 0
Have you guys ever heard of natural instincts? You guys should look it up. She has a paranoia for dogs. So It makes sense for her to think a dog bit her. I mean, what else could it possibly be, before finding out its a 5 year old kid? I bet some of you are afraid of spiders. You feel something crawling on your skin, you think "SPIDER" so you brush it off or smack it without even looking at it first.
aawooh 0
dog, kid, whatever. If something bites my leg, i'm going to kick it. all the poster who are giving the OP shit about a dog in a restaurant need to shut up. its a simple equation; bite on leg= kick in face
shananigans 0
All of you who are so gung-ho on this "OMG WTF WHY WOULD A DOG BE UNDER THE TABLE"... Do you honestly think a child should have been under there either?? At five years old, she should have known better. If something bit me, I would kick. Simple as that. And I'm not even afraid of dogs, heck I LIKE dogs, but if something is basically ATTACKING my LEG, I'm not going to sit there and be like "Wellll, maybe I should look first..." Jeez, it's a natural reflex. Anyone who says they wouldn't kick the thing is in denial/ stupid.
sansforever 0
You did the right thing. I mean, you had barely any time to react, and I'm sure anyone would have done the same thing. Besides, what were the parent's doing when she went under the table?
zaizer 0
Ha ha, good job- I'm sure he wasn't too happy but hey, i thought u were gonna kick him! that would've been worse. "Oh sorry i thought there was a dog!?!?!"