Today, while we're on vacation, my 6 year-old son barged in the bathroom as I was changing my tampon. He was horrified and kept screaming, asking why I “pulled a blood rat out of my butt.” FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while changing my tampon in a public restroom, a toddler crawled under the door of my stall and asked what I was doing. I had to wait until I'd finished to open the door and let her out. FML
Today, I was at the grocery store with my five year-old son when I had to go to the bathroom. After doing my business and we started walking out of the bathroom, my son loudly announced to the whole store, "Mommy has diarrhea!" FML
Today, I had to profusely apologize to a woman after my six year old son decided to crawl between her legs at the supermarket, then look up her skirt and loudly ask why she didn't have any panties on. FML
Today, I walked into a public restroom and, to my utter surprise, saw a lady squeezing blood out of used tampons. We made eye contact, she continued, and I ran out in horror. FML
Today, while changing my tampon in the stall of my high school's bathroom, I lost control of the plastic applicator. The blood-covered apparatus shot out like a rocket underneath the stall door. For a moment I thought no one noticed, then the screaming began. FML
Today, I asked my dad to take me to the store so I could get some feminine hygiene products. When we got there, he went running down the aisles yelling, "Help! My daughter's bleeding to death! Where're the tampons?!" FML
Today, I was in a busy airport bathroom with my three year-old son. While in the process of pulling my pants down, my son decided to open the stall door. I jumped up to yank the door closed, but not before the line of waiting women saw me with my pants wrapped around my ankles. FML
Today, I came home from a relaxing, peaceful vacation. When I got home my 4-year-old son was free-balling with poop all over his body, screaming "Bob the Builder will kick your ass." The baby sitter is nowhere to be found and I can't get him to stop saying, "I love ass." FML
Today, after waiting to get home to go to the bathroom, my six year old neighbor popped out and literally scared the shit out of me. FML
Today, while shopping at my local grocery store, a young boy came up behind me and pulled my pants down while snickering. I was so shocked and horrified that I dropped the f-bomb. His mother yelled at me for "ruining his innocence". FML
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Top comments
spinningrecords 14
Well shit! That is probably the most scarring thing that could happen to the little guy but dang it’s also funny.
RichardPencil 32
"Because I'm just that ******' tough!" Next time you tell him to finish his vegetables, he's gonna finish his goddamn vegetables!
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Comments (6)
RichardPencil 32
"Because I'm just that ******' tough!" Next time you tell him to finish his vegetables, he's gonna finish his goddamn vegetables!
spinningrecords 14
Well shit! That is probably the most scarring thing that could happen to the little guy but dang it’s also funny.
spinningrecords 14
Well shit! That is probably the most scarring thing that could happen to the little guy but dang it’s also funny.
Earl_KarmasBitch 36
Well, he's learned to knock now hopefully.
Hangryko 32
Hopefully OP also learned to lock the door first.
JasonThorn 23
"Hey, son! Welcome to your first game of 'Screwed Around and Found Out!' Thanks for playing!"
Hangryko 32
Why didn't you lock the bathroom door?