Today, I was eating with my boyfriend and his family at a high-end restaurant when, suddenly, I screamed, thinking a dog had just bitten my leg. I am terrified of dogs. I kicked my under-the-table assailant as hard as I could. It was my boyfriend's adorable five-year-old sister. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I had dinner with my boyfriend's family. His 3-year-old nephew came running for a hug. At the last second, he darted past my arms and bit me on the ass. FML
Today, while I was cooking, my dogs were messing around behind me. I suddenly felt a painful bite on my ass cheek and instinctively kicked back. I then realized it was my 3-year-old daughter, who was laying on the floor crying with a nose bleed. FML
Today, we were having a family dinner with my boyfriend's parents and mine. In the kitchen, when we were getting the food ready, he proposed. I screamed. My dad thought he was hurting me, came in and tased him in the leg. FML
Today, my mom's super spoiled small demon dog attacked my 3 year-old daughter, mauling her leg. Out of instinct, I kicked it away, causing it to fly across the room yelping. I picked up my daughter and took her straight to the hospital, where she got stitches. Later that night, I was greeted with a vet bill. FML
Today, I got bitten by my aunt's dog. My brother was holding the leash. He said he didn't pull the dog away from me because he didn't want to rip my shirt. Meanwhile, the dog was biting a penny-sized chunk out of my hip. FML
Today, the family dog was in the garbage and wouldn't stop eating. He is a large dog, and I had to put my arms around him and pull him out of the trash can. Well, he bit me so hard I was bleeding. My whole family is siding with the dog and saying it was my fault for not letting him eat. FML
Today, a dog bit me, tearing a hole through my sweatpants, my shorts, and my underwear, all to get at the dog treat I'd hidden in my pocket. FML
Today, I was out running. All of a sudden I saw a dog come towards me, I thought it was going to attack me and I screamed like a girl in front of everyone. It was a puppy wanting to play. FML
Today, my sister asked me to let her dog out of the kennel when I got home. I did only to have the little beast bite me. She then ate the entire content of the cat's litter box, which she couldn't keep down. FML
Today, I was on the couch, about to make out with the guy I've been dating. As soon as our lips touched, my overprotective dog ran up and bit him. He bled. FML
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Top comments
Tehalon 0
You did a good job, kids should know its not polite to play under the table in a high-end restaurant. Do wonder why you would think a dog is walking around in a high-end restaurant...
CrimsonKnight 0
It'll teach her not to bite peoples legs or to crawl under tables when your out eating. It'll save her parents trying to teach her.
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Comments (284)
yooda_fml 0
what would a dog be doing in a high-end resturant anyway ?
whymez 0
YDI for being afraid of dogs...
heystranger 0
Why the HELL would a DOG be in ANY RESTAURANT?! Really? Are you that STUPID? That was part 1, now for part 2: You should know that kids crawl under tables. Sure, she shouldn't have bitten you, but if she wasn't at the table and you felt something under the table, I think it would be safe to assume that, given her age, SHE could be the thing UNDER THE DAMN TABLE. Geez, get a brain. Finally, part 3: Do you honestly think kicking a dog (say it WAS a dog) will get it to stop biting you and be all friendly? No, if your "reflex" is to kick the dog, you should understand that it would be the dog's reflex to defend itself and attack you further. I'm a pretty nice person, but the only thing that I can conclude from this is that you're a dumbass. Putting it lightly.
blal 0
1. Seeing-eye dogs are required by law to be allowed in. A stray could have somehow found its way. 2. Is your first reaction to being bitten to do a head count? Reflexes kick in before rational thought, and just because her first reaction to teeth digging into her leg was "OH S--- DOG!" doesn't mean she didn't act as anyone else would have. 3. If you are being aggressively bitten by a dog, I hope you have the sense not to take your own advise. Hesitancy carries the very real risk of perceived weakness, and the dog would only be more confident in it's attack if she just pulled her legs away and cried out from the surprise and pain. Kicking at the dog from that position would prevent it from easily biting down and tugging at you. You're self-proclaimed niceness is far outweighed by your stupidity.
Selsa_Squirrel 0
Wow, numbering your response? :P Instinct says 'get the pain away'. She's having a nice evening out, likely talking to her boyfriend, and something bites her leg. If she's terrified of dogs, she likely has a reason to be and there's noway to stop and reason '"hmm, I'm at a restaurant, there aren't usually dogs here, and if it is a dog, what is that best way to get it off me?" Something bit her, she kicked. Very common reaction. I don't see why you feel the need to feel so hostile to someone who obvious feels bad now, though it was the child's fault for biting and the parents' fault for not teaching the kid better manners than to crawl under tables and bite.
rakethewidower 0
Couldn't help but laugh, does this make me a bad person?
luciachan 0
People that are terrified of dogs act irrationally. Even though she was in a restaurant the fact her leg was bitten made her automatically think of a dog biting her and she would have reacted based on a reflex. I know a girl whose afraid of everything that isn't a human (dogs cats rodents bugs birds) She came over to my house knowing that we had just got a puppy. when my dog came to greet her she jumped on my couch and started screaming like she was being murdered. My dog is a pomeranian and at the time she was only 3lbs and fit in the palm of my hand. And she knew damn well that my dog was going to come to the door. she could have waited outside until I put the puppy in the other room but no she just walked right in. Trying to question the actions of people with phobias is impossible.
Nikie1986 0
It's possible that there was a dog in the restaurant if somebody who's disabled was there. Usually those dogs are trained extremely well because they need to be in public places and usually don't go off biting random people but who knows. Not to mention she ACCIDENTALLY kicked the little kid not purposely so those of you being rude because she kicked the kid need to chill, it's not her responsibility to watch where the kid is at all times. It was an accident and accidents do happen. If I had been her boyfriends mom I wouldn't have been angry at her it would have taught my 5 yr old a lesson. What I gather from her story is the 5 yr old hurt her under the table some how, she reacted as any normal human would have reacted, it was an accident and she feels bad. End of story.
TheyStoleMyPiggy 6
Why would there be a dog in a high-end restaurant??
moms_mistake 2
there's really no right answer to this. you planned to kick a puppy but instead kicked a child. either way, you're going ta hell:/
Michaelsmith1502 4
why would a dog be in a fancy restaurant?!? is your idea of a fancy restaurant a out door mcdonalds?
ArielTheMermaid 17
why would there be a dog in a high end restaurant?