Today, I was eating with my boyfriend and his family at a high-end restaurant when, suddenly, I screamed, thinking a dog had just bitten my leg. I am terrified of dogs. I kicked my under-the-table assailant as hard as I could. It was my boyfriend's adorable five-year-old sister. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had dinner with my boyfriend's family. His 3-year-old nephew came running for a hug. At the last second, he darted past my arms and bit me on the ass. FML
Today, while I was cooking, my dogs were messing around behind me. I suddenly felt a painful bite on my ass cheek and instinctively kicked back. I then realized it was my 3-year-old daughter, who was laying on the floor crying with a nose bleed. FML
Today, we were having a family dinner with my boyfriend's parents and mine. In the kitchen, when we were getting the food ready, he proposed. I screamed. My dad thought he was hurting me, came in and tased him in the leg. FML
Today, my mom's super spoiled small demon dog attacked my 3 year-old daughter, mauling her leg. Out of instinct, I kicked it away, causing it to fly across the room yelping. I picked up my daughter and took her straight to the hospital, where she got stitches. Later that night, I was greeted with a vet bill. FML
Today, I got bitten by my aunt's dog. My brother was holding the leash. He said he didn't pull the dog away from me because he didn't want to rip my shirt. Meanwhile, the dog was biting a penny-sized chunk out of my hip. FML
Today, the family dog was in the garbage and wouldn't stop eating. He is a large dog, and I had to put my arms around him and pull him out of the trash can. Well, he bit me so hard I was bleeding. My whole family is siding with the dog and saying it was my fault for not letting him eat. FML
Today, a dog bit me, tearing a hole through my sweatpants, my shorts, and my underwear, all to get at the dog treat I'd hidden in my pocket. FML
Today, I was out running. All of a sudden I saw a dog come towards me, I thought it was going to attack me and I screamed like a girl in front of everyone. It was a puppy wanting to play. FML
Today, my sister asked me to let her dog out of the kennel when I got home. I did only to have the little beast bite me. She then ate the entire content of the cat's litter box, which she couldn't keep down. FML
Today, I was on the couch, about to make out with the guy I've been dating. As soon as our lips touched, my overprotective dog ran up and bit him. He bled. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Tehalon 0
You did a good job, kids should know its not polite to play under the table in a high-end restaurant. Do wonder why you would think a dog is walking around in a high-end restaurant...
CrimsonKnight 0
It'll teach her not to bite peoples legs or to crawl under tables when your out eating. It'll save her parents trying to teach her.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (284)
kathira120 3
Woooooow. Why would there be a DOG in a high-end restaurant? And what did she do that resembled a bite? Thats weird. And just because you hate dogs is no reason to kick one in the face, regardless of the situation. Unless that poor, defenseless dog has a death-grip on you, don't touch it!!! You son of a bitch. you deserve it. YDI!!
SantoryuuFelidae 1
you idiot. she has a phobia, which is an irrational fear. you know what, here. you sit in a nice restaurant chatting with your bf and his family. you aren't expecting anything under the table. suddenly, you feel a pain in your leg, like something BIT you. would you not kick? you wouldn't lash out to get rid of something that aggressively latched onto your limb? god, it's not like she planned it.
HI_IH 0
I am terrified of dogs too... so i can understand why you freaked out.
OTSS 0
forget u.......poor little girl. I bet SHE'S traumatized
JoyHeart 0
She's not very adorable if she's biting your leg. Five year olds know better then THAT Now, I personally would have a very short list of things that might be biting my leg under a table. I suppose, being terrified of dogs, and perhaps dog bites, maybe this allowed 'dog' to come to your mind first. Myself, I'd just to cannibalistic serial killer. But none the less, kicking is of course the best course of action and I don't think the child will be crawling around biting people for quite while now. So even if your boyfriend doesn't thank you for it, his next girlfriend would, if she knew the horror you saved her from.
viadomus815 0
For all of you saying how there couldn't be a dog in that kind of restaurant, first off if something was biting your leg i would think the first thing you would do is react and kick it... 2nd: the kid deserved it.
av232 0
rofl. i can only imagine what kind of treatment you got from everyone that night. i would have left right away. apologizing first of course.
godhelpme92 0
Not a smart move...
Vanity7Sins 0
what the hell would a dog be doing in a high end restaurant? THINK BEFORE YOU ACT!!!
GrimReaper973 0
You REALLY have to train yourself to think before acting. 1. Why the hell is a dog in a "HIGH-END restaurant 2. Dogs are docile the majority of the time 3. Why the hell are you kicking dogs!!!!
kittengrl39 0
And you need to train yourself to think before writing. The kid BIT her, dumbass. Probably hard, since little kids don't know to hold back much. When something bites you, it's pure instinct to force away the thing biting you. I would do the same, be it cat, dog, or little brother. The reaction happens in very little time. It's not like the OP's reaction to sudden pain SHOULD be, "Oh, let me sit here and logically eliminate possibilities while something is biting my leg." And even if "dogs are docile the majority of the time", that doesn't mean they can't bite you. I've been bitten by dogs twice - both dogs I was very familiar with, both without provocation. Once I was just walking by and it went for me. Unless you remove a dog's teeth, there is no absolute guarantee that it will not bite you.
briesparksthesun 0
Lmfao! What the **** was she doing under the table? That's what I'd like to know.