Today, I was eating with my boyfriend and his family at a high-end restaurant when, suddenly, I screamed, thinking a dog had just bitten my leg. I am terrified of dogs. I kicked my under-the-table assailant as hard as I could. It was my boyfriend's adorable five-year-old sister. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I had dinner with my boyfriend's family. His 3-year-old nephew came running for a hug. At the last second, he darted past my arms and bit me on the ass. FML
Today, while I was cooking, my dogs were messing around behind me. I suddenly felt a painful bite on my ass cheek and instinctively kicked back. I then realized it was my 3-year-old daughter, who was laying on the floor crying with a nose bleed. FML
Today, we were having a family dinner with my boyfriend's parents and mine. In the kitchen, when we were getting the food ready, he proposed. I screamed. My dad thought he was hurting me, came in and tased him in the leg. FML
Today, my mom's super spoiled small demon dog attacked my 3 year-old daughter, mauling her leg. Out of instinct, I kicked it away, causing it to fly across the room yelping. I picked up my daughter and took her straight to the hospital, where she got stitches. Later that night, I was greeted with a vet bill. FML
Today, I got bitten by my aunt's dog. My brother was holding the leash. He said he didn't pull the dog away from me because he didn't want to rip my shirt. Meanwhile, the dog was biting a penny-sized chunk out of my hip. FML
Today, the family dog was in the garbage and wouldn't stop eating. He is a large dog, and I had to put my arms around him and pull him out of the trash can. Well, he bit me so hard I was bleeding. My whole family is siding with the dog and saying it was my fault for not letting him eat. FML
Today, a dog bit me, tearing a hole through my sweatpants, my shorts, and my underwear, all to get at the dog treat I'd hidden in my pocket. FML
Today, I was out running. All of a sudden I saw a dog come towards me, I thought it was going to attack me and I screamed like a girl in front of everyone. It was a puppy wanting to play. FML
Today, my sister asked me to let her dog out of the kennel when I got home. I did only to have the little beast bite me. She then ate the entire content of the cat's litter box, which she couldn't keep down. FML
Today, I was on the couch, about to make out with the guy I've been dating. As soon as our lips touched, my overprotective dog ran up and bit him. He bled. FML
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Top comments
Tehalon 0
You did a good job, kids should know its not polite to play under the table in a high-end restaurant. Do wonder why you would think a dog is walking around in a high-end restaurant...
CrimsonKnight 0
It'll teach her not to bite peoples legs or to crawl under tables when your out eating. It'll save her parents trying to teach her.
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Comments (284)
Guitarist45 0
3 things: 1.) YOU'RE A SPAZ!!!! 2.) YOU DROP KICKED A 5 YEAR OLD!!!! 3.) AFRAID OF DOGS?! What a clusterf**k your life is..........
oooooo_fml 0
I agree with mostly everyone else... a dog is definatly going to be in a high-end resaurant...no. and you KICKED IT? what the ****?? thats rediculous... you're a ******* tit.
uhnonnuhmus 0
You obviously don't get out much. Stupid people bring their dogs everywhere, including restaurants, and even stupider people allow them to do it. I've been working in the service industry for seven years and I've seen it all. Incidentally, I've come to like cat people better as a result. I've never had to clean up cat shit from the floor when I'm closing up a restaurant or a store.
misslehua21 0
Are you serious?! No offense, but you totally deserved being bitten if you kicked a 5 year old as hard as you could
Fontario4 2
You people keep asking why she would think there's a dog at a high end restaurant, well why the hell would she think there's a five year old under the table biting her freakin leg? And hello do you people not notice the women that carrie around their little dogs everywhere in their purses and crap?
toshiro10div 0
the girl got what she deserved if she goes around biting people. i went through the same phase and bit my sister and my sister bit me back, i have never bit anyone since then so maybe she'll learn and if she doesn't i hope she gets kicked in the face some more until she does learn.
cmac86 24
can't you tell the difference between a dog and human mouth?
user_name_here 0
the brat shouldnt of bit you don't feel bad
potato53 0
oh that sucks hope she's ok :(
nm22395 0
um op you are a tool
mack4225 0
You didn't notice when his little sis disappeared? And why would you think it was a dog? I'd have just been thinking "wtf was that?" at a high end restaurant.