Today, I was eating with my boyfriend and his family at a high-end restaurant when, suddenly, I screamed, thinking a dog had just bitten my leg. I am terrified of dogs. I kicked my under-the-table assailant as hard as I could. It was my boyfriend's adorable five-year-old sister. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had dinner with my boyfriend's family. His 3-year-old nephew came running for a hug. At the last second, he darted past my arms and bit me on the ass. FML
Today, while I was cooking, my dogs were messing around behind me. I suddenly felt a painful bite on my ass cheek and instinctively kicked back. I then realized it was my 3-year-old daughter, who was laying on the floor crying with a nose bleed. FML
Today, we were having a family dinner with my boyfriend's parents and mine. In the kitchen, when we were getting the food ready, he proposed. I screamed. My dad thought he was hurting me, came in and tased him in the leg. FML
Today, my mom's super spoiled small demon dog attacked my 3 year-old daughter, mauling her leg. Out of instinct, I kicked it away, causing it to fly across the room yelping. I picked up my daughter and took her straight to the hospital, where she got stitches. Later that night, I was greeted with a vet bill. FML
Today, I got bitten by my aunt's dog. My brother was holding the leash. He said he didn't pull the dog away from me because he didn't want to rip my shirt. Meanwhile, the dog was biting a penny-sized chunk out of my hip. FML
Today, the family dog was in the garbage and wouldn't stop eating. He is a large dog, and I had to put my arms around him and pull him out of the trash can. Well, he bit me so hard I was bleeding. My whole family is siding with the dog and saying it was my fault for not letting him eat. FML
Today, a dog bit me, tearing a hole through my sweatpants, my shorts, and my underwear, all to get at the dog treat I'd hidden in my pocket. FML
Today, I was out running. All of a sudden I saw a dog come towards me, I thought it was going to attack me and I screamed like a girl in front of everyone. It was a puppy wanting to play. FML
Today, my sister asked me to let her dog out of the kennel when I got home. I did only to have the little beast bite me. She then ate the entire content of the cat's litter box, which she couldn't keep down. FML
Today, I was on the couch, about to make out with the guy I've been dating. As soon as our lips touched, my overprotective dog ran up and bit him. He bled. FML
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Top comments
Tehalon 0
You did a good job, kids should know its not polite to play under the table in a high-end restaurant. Do wonder why you would think a dog is walking around in a high-end restaurant...
CrimsonKnight 0
It'll teach her not to bite peoples legs or to crawl under tables when your out eating. It'll save her parents trying to teach her.
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Comments (284)
demonpossessed 0
it's not your fault, the kid shouldn't be crawling around under tables
kjxmlxmon 0
that's awful. but that parents have to realize that it's not exactly your fault. that kid should have never been down there in the first place.
Karikaru 0
If you're bit by something you can't see and you aren't expecting it, it is a natural reaction to kick. Anyone would have done it.
pyro_metal 0
Poor kid.... but it's also really disgusting that you would even kick a dog. :|
were_giraffe 2
So adorable the parents let her run around under the table biting people ... at a high end restaurant? Your reaction is human. Their parenting skills suck
Dave010897 0
i would do that too. but she'll live, and its all fine LOL
omgnooo 0
to people saying "why would u expect a dog at a high end restaurant?" well if something is under the table biting you, what are u supposed to think it is? NOTHING should be biting you. So idgaf if she lost an eye to your high healed shoes, you were defending yourself from an unknown attacker... it is just like the guy who elbowed his gf in the face and broke her nose because she came up behind him unannounced on a random sidewalk and stuck her hands in his pockets
Colosphe 0
Bet she ain't so adorable now. On a more serious note, you were just defending yourself. If you really fear dogs so much, it was only a natural response to the situation presented.
Superman8_fml 0
a dog wouldn't be in a restaurant, especially a high-end restaurant...idiot ydi
jennaleighhh 0
maybe she learns now not to be under a freaking table at a high-end restaurant.