Today, I was driving along when the car in front of me ran over an animal. I only realised this when a chunk of flesh and blood landed on my windscreen. I put my wipers on to get rid of it but instead it got stuck underneath the wipers and smeared all over the screen. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I spent an hour and a half washing my car. As I was driving down the highway, a large bird flew over my car and accidentally dropped the dead animal he was about to have for dinner. It landed on my windshield. FML
Today, I found a dead bird on my windshield. Thinking I was clever, I turned on my windshield wipers to get the bird off. Unfortunately, the dead bird fell through my open window and onto my lap. FML
Today, as I was driving, a bird swooped down, right in front of my car. I didn't have enough time to react, and so I had to listen to my wife cry the rest of the way home. She kept talking about how it bounced off the windshield and how it probably had a family. FML
Today, I got my car cleaned. As I drove home, the passenger of the van in front of me vomited out the window. The vomit sailed back and splattered all over the front of my car. A waste of £10 and a mental image that will never go away. FML
Today, on my way home, a truck driver was speeding next to me and as he passed I saw his truck was the kind that takes livestock to be butchered. I was thinking that I didn’t look to see if there were animals in there. Suddenly, brown items hit my windshield. Yes, it didn’t "hit the fan," it hit my car. FML
Today, I found shit on my windshield. I'm not sure if it is human or animal, but it was conveniently smeared all over and even more was placed under my wipers just in case I used them to clean it up. This isn't the first time, and I have no idea who I could have pissed off. FML
Today, I was driving with my dog. Looking out the half-open window he stepped on the switch, the window went up, causing his head to get stuck. I looked down and he had scared the shit out of himself, all over my shirt. FML
Today, it was nice out, so I drove with my car windows down. I was stopped trying to turn onto a busy highway, when a car turned off the highway right next to me, hit a pothole, and splashed dirty water into my window and into my open mouth. FML
Today, I saw a poor helpless cat in the middle of the road while driving. I pulled over and scooped it in my arms to bring it to safety. Not only did I get mauled and scratched by the cat, my car also wasn't put in park and rolled away hitting a parked car. FML
Today, while driving home I saw a few deer running beside me. I stopped to let them go in front. Instead, one face-plants, ramming into the side of my new car. FML
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Top comments
iAmScrubs 19
It's still good to put on the barbecue and call it steak.
hiyourcute 0
"Look kids, daddy caught dinner!"
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Comments (204)
iAmScrubs 19
It's still good to put on the barbecue and call it steak.
upstartzero 0
yummy
YayorNay 8
As long as it's not past 5 seconds.
Miss_Michaela 10
I once had that kinda thing happen to me, except it was a sausage roll that was thrown on my windscreen. I popped that sucka straight into the microwave. I wasn't going to say no to a free lunch.
johnson94 5
^ stereotypical fat person haha
dolphincheddar 10
you should also have hit it and doubled the gore on the guy behind you'd windshield. then invited him for a barbeque
missy_lynn012 0
81 i REALLY hope you're joking.
morgan320 0
The 5-second rule doesn't affect here, the meat never hit the ground.
VinegarStrokes 0
Mmmm... Rabies.
catatonicsleep 17
No rabies in the UK
PDeffinP 0
of course she is joking wtf.
MW2nBAKE 0
on your screen?....you mean windshield, um let's see...FAIL
princessRiRi97 0
You must be in the south thats where they do that at.
iAmScrubs 19
If you are talking about me, then you are mistaken. I am not from the south, I am actually from Canada. Also, the comment I made was simply a joke. I don't think anyone would actually take a piece of dead animal off their car and cook it. There could be so much diseases and health risks.
djcamp27 0
I would.... anythings wrong wit that?
guckylynn 19
I'm from Michigan and we keep deer we hit. Free venison...
staceysgenesis16 0
mmm, well im glad your thinking that way. you should try it some time and let us know how it comes out.
YDI__Bitch 0
151, I'm from Alabama and never heard of a grill refered to as a bar-b-que... that is just something we eat
YDI__Bitch 0
it's actually healthier than most meat because it's so fresh... people do eat it sometimes without even cooking it
TookaWooka666 0
Haha I laughed so hard when I read this, might want to haul ass to a car wash before a cop saw it.
SneezyC 15
btw 151 we don't do that down here . get your facts straight Kay?
XHereNumberThere 0
PrincessRiRi97...fail.
LindseyYanero 15
that's the best kind of meat FREE
NStarB 13
Bad Luck FYL
GreenBud_fml 0
roadkill much?
bunnixbrutality 5
well yesterday wassss friday the 13th ;)
gearsmaster 0
I like your piece of shat tat fat ratatouille. hope it's only ballpoint..
hiyourcute 0
"Look kids, daddy caught dinner!"
OhHeySlogan 4
That's some high quality meat.
dolphincheddar 10
^thats what she said
robotiick 12
^win
OhHeySlogan 4
Not gonna lie, I was hoping someone would say that. :p
SneezyC 15
WIN !! for whoever said 'that's what she said.' ;)
lextheplex 0
widescreen..? never heard somebody call their windshield a widescreen before.. I thought they meant they got dead animal on there tv lmao fail
hiyourcute 0
I believe they call them windscreens in the UK
immunizations 0
where does it say widescreen? because I'm pretty sure i read "windscreen", which is pretty much just another word for windshield.
fadingaway 17
It says "windscreen", which is the non-American word for "windshield".
Music_Goddess 0
apparently we can't read in America....lol FYL
hrun200 0
Someone needs to go back to first grade...*cough*lextheplex*cough*
ijrnelson 0
international English / British English is windscreen. I do like the American English language sometimes it's worth a lol. favourites are trash and the best of all time "egg plant".
KiddNYC1O 22
#4's comment is just another case of premature commenting.
AnagenisisZagus 13
Really, 4? You are one of the many people that prove to me you can be this stupid after the womb.
zowieandzander77 1
why is trash funny?
breakofdawn1 0
haha leave her Alone she is having a blonde moment xD
gemzroxya 0
Trash is funny, australians/brittish usually say Garbage or Rubbish.
niicolle92 1
Yeah in Australia we use windscreen and rubbish rather than trash.
x3ShanTastic 0
Stupid..
gearsmaster 0
I have a screen on my window? and the glass behind it would make it a shield. I hate any other language besides American English. call me selfish/bias whatever.. idc haha. Also, those nasty europeans with their disgusting rat teef :B and their shovel faces. wa wa woo wa here comes the queen, bow down quickly crumpets and tea gypsy. all I hear on XBL is how ALL Americans are fat, and eat mcdonalds everyday. That's the only shit talk I hear when they gettin raped in gears.. "oh you fat American wanker" and you can only imagine his/her face :/ If you play live. any game. back me up xYETTIx
ipwnlosers 4
Gnahhh and I live in the same city as her... Must be something they put in the water...
Sukismama 2
Lmfao, same here
Ninjasaurus18 9
Maybe #4 is dyslexic, and got their letters messed up. I'm not dyslexic, but I'll read something over several times and one word will be vitally different than what I saw.
Amanyyyyyy 29
And you still haven't, #4.
mimilala_fml 5
drive-thru carwash ASAP
snowdrift 6
what the...bloody hell, dinner!!!!:D
techweed 12
Why don't you eat it???
princessRiRi97 0
i love that picture
lextheplex 0
never mind XD WINDSCREEN* still weird.. haha
WavinFlag 3
fail
BWill9014 4
oh my... *shakes head*
VasilisaUzhasnaj 29
You're one of those people that gives Americans a bad rep..stupidity runs thick.
igotnolegs 1
FYL indeed(!) - not F*** the animals life? Noooo... its far worse hitting an animal(!)
TheDrifter 24
It's dead, it doesn't have to clean up carcass bits this afternoon
iLazy 0
Ya know this sounded like a scene of a horror film where a random body/organ comes flying to the screen.
missy_lynn012 0
yes because an animal (a dead one at that) would be posting on FML.
igotnolegs 1
Did I say that? No. I said that it's the animal who is having a bad day not OP. F*** the animals life IMO
ImInABox 6
Yum.