Today, I spent an hour and a half washing my car. As I was driving down the highway, a large bird flew over my car and accidentally dropped the dead animal he was about to have for dinner. It landed on my windshield. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I found a dead bird on my windshield. Thinking I was clever, I turned on my windshield wipers to get the bird off. Unfortunately, the dead bird fell through my open window and onto my lap. FML
Today, as I was driving, a bird swooped down, right in front of my car. I didn't have enough time to react, and so I had to listen to my wife cry the rest of the way home. She kept talking about how it bounced off the windshield and how it probably had a family. FML
Today, I was driving along when the car in front of me ran over an animal. I only realised this when a chunk of flesh and blood landed on my windscreen. I put my wipers on to get rid of it but instead it got stuck underneath the wipers and smeared all over the screen. FML
Today, as I was driving home from work, a bird decided to commit suicide by flying in front of my car. The shock caused me to slam on the brakes, totaling three other cars in the process. FML
Today, a bird took a dump on my truck as I was driving and the wind pushed it into the keyhole. FML
Today, I discovered that I had left my sunroof open all night during a storm and my front seats was soaked. I grabbed a towel for my seat but didn't close my sunroof because it was nice out. As I pull out of my driveway, I felt something wet hit my forehead. A bird shit on me through my sunroof. FML
Today, I ran into a bird. Not with my car, with my face. It was so scared, it crapped all over me. FML
Today, my husband thought it would be funny to drive my car through a flock of vultures eating road kill. Since a bird hit the mirror and broke it, I now have to pay for a replacement. FML
Today, I saved a bird from being run over as it lay in the middle of the road. Thinking it had a broken wing or something, I started carrying it home, intending to take it to the vet later. It crapped in my hand and flew away. FML
Today, I was so totally stressed out at work that I took my car into the park and reclined my seat and shut my eyes. Soon, I noticed the soothing sounds of raindrops on my car and I felt a little better for once. I opened my eyes to see that a bunch of birds had crapped all over my car. FML
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Top comments
crazedcabbages 0
im pretty sure ur life is not messed up
aaa125 0
just clean it up and get over it
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Comments (75)
xeldawyn 14
That's terrible!
cole86 0
u lucky buthole now ye have a tarry free dinner!
Skiittleez 0
Yeah thats pretty terrible. And op had to take it off his windshield haha grossss
_TONGAN_ 5
ggvif
EffinAhole 0
It's not like a dead mouse (or whatever small animal it was) landing on your windshield would dirty up your clean car.
guiltypleasure12 0
and now you have dinner!
rottentomatoes 7
hm.. great, Burger King ^^
HahaHokayThen 10
eww. lol. I wonder what animal it was.
zp5 4
14 i didn't know vultures could carry cows...
HahaHokayThen 10
chicken, perhaps? (/
aaa125 0
just clean it up and get over it
randomchickkk 0
haha ouch. that's harsh.
craziemane 0
boob cleavage
Matu 4
lol 100
d4_user 5
boobs
corrector_fml 0
free food, what are you complaining about?
Chunchunchun 3
Be happy! You saw nature in action!
crazedcabbages 0
im pretty sure ur life is not messed up
sanem0808238036 0
that sucks arse man:/
Spastastic 6
This is worded kind of terribly...
ImaginaryFoe 1
and punctuated very badly.
Spastastic 6
Indeed.
Spastastic 6
Well, the mods fixed it now.
TheIrishJaneDoe 9
Oh good. I thought I was hallucinating decent grammar where it wasn't.
andrea99_fml 0
wow. grammar police over here. maybe a 'large bird' should shit on your head...... lmao
Jessi2487 0
just clean the windshield. you dont have to wash the entire car again. duuuh
catatonicsleep 17
have to wash the whole front... it probably hit the windshield and rolled down the front of the car
Jessi2487 0
well still, op doesnt have to wash the ENTIRE car.
MAGNAVOX 0
cleavage shot.
aleksjai 0
never know ...the animal might of splattered :0
Lilbabynid3 3
the vulture is the one that should be complaining. just rewash your windshield
Wlollpop 0
what about the animal? Being dead and all...