Today, I was driving along when the car in front of me ran over an animal. I only realised this when a chunk of flesh and blood landed on my windscreen. I put my wipers on to get rid of it but instead it got stuck underneath the wipers and smeared all over the screen. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I spent an hour and a half washing my car. As I was driving down the highway, a large bird flew over my car and accidentally dropped the dead animal he was about to have for dinner. It landed on my windshield. FML
Today, I found a dead bird on my windshield. Thinking I was clever, I turned on my windshield wipers to get the bird off. Unfortunately, the dead bird fell through my open window and onto my lap. FML
Today, as I was driving, a bird swooped down, right in front of my car. I didn't have enough time to react, and so I had to listen to my wife cry the rest of the way home. She kept talking about how it bounced off the windshield and how it probably had a family. FML
Today, I got my car cleaned. As I drove home, the passenger of the van in front of me vomited out the window. The vomit sailed back and splattered all over the front of my car. A waste of £10 and a mental image that will never go away. FML
Today, on my way home, a truck driver was speeding next to me and as he passed I saw his truck was the kind that takes livestock to be butchered. I was thinking that I didn’t look to see if there were animals in there. Suddenly, brown items hit my windshield. Yes, it didn’t "hit the fan," it hit my car. FML
Today, I found shit on my windshield. I'm not sure if it is human or animal, but it was conveniently smeared all over and even more was placed under my wipers just in case I used them to clean it up. This isn't the first time, and I have no idea who I could have pissed off. FML
Today, I was driving with my dog. Looking out the half-open window he stepped on the switch, the window went up, causing his head to get stuck. I looked down and he had scared the shit out of himself, all over my shirt. FML
Today, it was nice out, so I drove with my car windows down. I was stopped trying to turn onto a busy highway, when a car turned off the highway right next to me, hit a pothole, and splashed dirty water into my window and into my open mouth. FML
Today, I saw a poor helpless cat in the middle of the road while driving. I pulled over and scooped it in my arms to bring it to safety. Not only did I get mauled and scratched by the cat, my car also wasn't put in park and rolled away hitting a parked car. FML
Today, while driving home I saw a few deer running beside me. I stopped to let them go in front. Instead, one face-plants, ramming into the side of my new car. FML
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Top comments
iAmScrubs 19
It's still good to put on the barbecue and call it steak.
hiyourcute 0
"Look kids, daddy caught dinner!"
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Comments (204)
moogiex9 6
OMG.......have any of you 'seriously lacking an education' Americans heard of a Dictionary? Look it up, people, it's there! Is there a 'DocBastard, I love you' fan site? I'd like to join if there is. :)
devonchr 0
It's called wind shield, not screen, you Brit or Canadian or where ever your from, def not the US... Americans invented cars and called them windshields...
Sirin_fml 47
Get your facts straight, you nitwit. Karl Benz, a German, invented the modern automobile.
moogiex9 6
Hahaha........I love it! Is there any race more erroneously arrogant than the Americans?
HeavyMetalViking 0
I heard Americans invented arrogance too
chikachikawahwah 0
As you're sitting proclaiming yourself superior to us? Remember, it's the idiots that speak the loudest. I'm sure there are plenty of those where you're from as well.
guckylynn 19
I really can't stand people like you. You make all Americans look bad, and people tend to judge a culture by what's negative and not what's positive. Thanks jerk....
a7x_RoCk3r 12
American cars suck.
KCThaEclipse33 0
thass Nasty
Raines38 0
r u sure it wasn't a baby :)
DeLpHe3zY 7
I hope it was
RyanMacVey 17
ehh... what!?!?!?! :o
moogiex9 6
screen –noun 1. a movable or fixed device, that provides shelter, serves as a partition, etc. 2. a permanent, usually ornamental partition, as around the choir of a church or across the hall of a medieval house. 3. a specially prepared, light-reflecting surface on which motion pictures, slides, etc., may be projected.
MyF_ckingLuck 0
the screen? you mean windshield?
Schlimpikins 0
bad idea, they're killin the windshield lovers around here, bad bad idea
KayleeFrye 39
On behalf of the small percentage of Americans who are not ignorant bastards, I apologize for my fellow citizens. Many of us DO realize that there are many languages and cultures outside of the USA. Please don't paint all of us with the same brush because of a few idiots. On a lighter note, I've never heard the term "windscreen" either, which was interesting because it's rare when I see a British English or other English term I'm not familiar with. I learned something new today. Yay! Thanks.
moogiex9 6
Thank you, and God bless you. May your intelligence, humility, and diplomacy take you far in life.
life_lol 0
maybe it's a hillbilly thing but wtf is a windscreen. I now of a windshield.
dabom392 4
that would be scary