Today, I was driving along when the car in front of me ran over an animal. I only realised this when a chunk of flesh and blood landed on my windscreen. I put my wipers on to get rid of it but instead it got stuck underneath the wipers and smeared all over the screen. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I spent an hour and a half washing my car. As I was driving down the highway, a large bird flew over my car and accidentally dropped the dead animal he was about to have for dinner. It landed on my windshield. FML
Today, I found a dead bird on my windshield. Thinking I was clever, I turned on my windshield wipers to get the bird off. Unfortunately, the dead bird fell through my open window and onto my lap. FML
Today, as I was driving, a bird swooped down, right in front of my car. I didn't have enough time to react, and so I had to listen to my wife cry the rest of the way home. She kept talking about how it bounced off the windshield and how it probably had a family. FML
Today, I got my car cleaned. As I drove home, the passenger of the van in front of me vomited out the window. The vomit sailed back and splattered all over the front of my car. A waste of £10 and a mental image that will never go away. FML
Today, on my way home, a truck driver was speeding next to me and as he passed I saw his truck was the kind that takes livestock to be butchered. I was thinking that I didn’t look to see if there were animals in there. Suddenly, brown items hit my windshield. Yes, it didn’t "hit the fan," it hit my car. FML
Today, I found shit on my windshield. I'm not sure if it is human or animal, but it was conveniently smeared all over and even more was placed under my wipers just in case I used them to clean it up. This isn't the first time, and I have no idea who I could have pissed off. FML
Today, I was driving with my dog. Looking out the half-open window he stepped on the switch, the window went up, causing his head to get stuck. I looked down and he had scared the shit out of himself, all over my shirt. FML
Today, it was nice out, so I drove with my car windows down. I was stopped trying to turn onto a busy highway, when a car turned off the highway right next to me, hit a pothole, and splashed dirty water into my window and into my open mouth. FML
Today, I saw a poor helpless cat in the middle of the road while driving. I pulled over and scooped it in my arms to bring it to safety. Not only did I get mauled and scratched by the cat, my car also wasn't put in park and rolled away hitting a parked car. FML
Today, while driving home I saw a few deer running beside me. I stopped to let them go in front. Instead, one face-plants, ramming into the side of my new car. FML
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Top comments
iAmScrubs 19
It's still good to put on the barbecue and call it steak.
hiyourcute 0
"Look kids, daddy caught dinner!"
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Comments (204)
Music_Goddess 0
Something similar happened to me. nothing better than pulling into the car wash with blood all over your window. lol
j_cat187 20
at least the animal dident go threw the winshield
esluvjay 5
yuuuuuuuck
LukeNukem_fml 3
you've seen it in the movies. yes, it will ******* happen.
XxbrokeNCYDExX 6
poor animal. FYL
ashseal 11
I love screamo too :) sorry bout the randomness
ScuseMePrincess 2
More like F that animal's life...
notjusanuthapret 0
that poor animal. Who cares about the car you can alwaya wash it off. The animal can never get its life back.
tmmundy 17
OMG...op did not kill the pooooooor animal. the car in front of op did. the point of this FML is that op got blood and flesh on op's car...of not fault of op's. I'm sure it did not affect the population of that animal. I hate it for the animal but it should keep it's ass out of the roads.
enonymous 9
Just tell people you came back from a Jonas brothers concert and took out some preteens on the way home... You'll be legendary
HeavyMetalViking 0
But I'm sure you get more +legendary if it was Justin Bieber's concert.
enonymous 9
Depends on the vehicle used. anything short of a tank or seal team 6 at a Justin Bieber or Rebecca Black concert just won't get the job done.
HeavyMetalViking 0
You need ******* optimus prime goddammit!
CitrusGirl 0
Not even preteens like Rebecca Black. She probably has to be homeschooled after that song.
HeavyMetalViking 0
I heard her parents banned her from talking on Fridays, just to be on the safe side.
enonymous 9
I still see her posting on FML as sweet_candy_ on Fridays . Those Clark Kent glasses aren't fooling anyone! It only works for superman!
ribbyc80 0
Ahhh Beiber... one of the very few reasons i am ashamed at being Canadian... the other would be Barbara Streisand:-(
enonymous 9
Bryan Adams doesn't make the list? Celine dion?
TheDrifter 24
Now now, Canada has apologized for Bryan Adams on several occaisons.
ceddyz17 10
guess what's for dinner =)
ShelbyyCakess 0
poor animal):