Today, I was driving along when the car in front of me ran over an animal. I only realised this when a chunk of flesh and blood landed on my windscreen. I put my wipers on to get rid of it but instead it got stuck underneath the wipers and smeared all over the screen. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I spent an hour and a half washing my car. As I was driving down the highway, a large bird flew over my car and accidentally dropped the dead animal he was about to have for dinner. It landed on my windshield. FML
Today, I found a dead bird on my windshield. Thinking I was clever, I turned on my windshield wipers to get the bird off. Unfortunately, the dead bird fell through my open window and onto my lap. FML
Today, as I was driving, a bird swooped down, right in front of my car. I didn't have enough time to react, and so I had to listen to my wife cry the rest of the way home. She kept talking about how it bounced off the windshield and how it probably had a family. FML
Today, I got my car cleaned. As I drove home, the passenger of the van in front of me vomited out the window. The vomit sailed back and splattered all over the front of my car. A waste of £10 and a mental image that will never go away. FML
Today, on my way home, a truck driver was speeding next to me and as he passed I saw his truck was the kind that takes livestock to be butchered. I was thinking that I didn’t look to see if there were animals in there. Suddenly, brown items hit my windshield. Yes, it didn’t "hit the fan," it hit my car. FML
Today, I found shit on my windshield. I'm not sure if it is human or animal, but it was conveniently smeared all over and even more was placed under my wipers just in case I used them to clean it up. This isn't the first time, and I have no idea who I could have pissed off. FML
Today, I was driving with my dog. Looking out the half-open window he stepped on the switch, the window went up, causing his head to get stuck. I looked down and he had scared the shit out of himself, all over my shirt. FML
Today, it was nice out, so I drove with my car windows down. I was stopped trying to turn onto a busy highway, when a car turned off the highway right next to me, hit a pothole, and splashed dirty water into my window and into my open mouth. FML
Today, I saw a poor helpless cat in the middle of the road while driving. I pulled over and scooped it in my arms to bring it to safety. Not only did I get mauled and scratched by the cat, my car also wasn't put in park and rolled away hitting a parked car. FML
Today, while driving home I saw a few deer running beside me. I stopped to let them go in front. Instead, one face-plants, ramming into the side of my new car. FML
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Top comments
iAmScrubs 19
It's still good to put on the barbecue and call it steak.
hiyourcute 0
"Look kids, daddy caught dinner!"
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Comments (204)
Schlimpikins 0
it's a windSHIELD dammit, a screen is full of holes, is your windshield full of holes? if so, **** me, what an asshole
HeavyMetalViking 0
This is exactly why people need to read previous comments before making the same old asshole comment. Is your television "shield" full of holes? The rest of the world speaks different English from American English.
Schlimpikins 0
haha kiddo, I already told you what television screens are made from, and ghost guy (or girl) so as not to be sexist, because I already started typing and I'm not going back to check (because I'm not only an asshole, i'm a lazy asshole), you just seem like a freak. I just get that vibe from you, other guy seems cool, but you just have a weirdo vibe, if I had kids, I wouldn't let you around em, no doubt
NYC_Yoshi 3
take it home and cook it
Yung23 0
27 dammmmm
121988 0
never heard it called that before
plebeianFelix 5
one chunk flesh, one chunk blood.
danbo659 0
lol perfect time to roll up into a car wash
SnailJamsss 6
Eww. Wash your car.
TraceCase_ 19
Luuucky! I only get bird poop all over mine.
btstig 11
YDI,Your a dumbass for calling your windshield a screen.
gymbow 0
thats ok i was driving the other day nd a bird hit my winsheild nd got stuck under the wipers cause it was rainin the blood than smeared all over my girls window lmao