Today, as I was driving, a bird swooped down, right in front of my car. I didn't have enough time to react, and so I had to listen to my wife cry the rest of the way home. She kept talking about how it bounced off the windshield and how it probably had a family. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, as I was driving home from work, a bird decided to commit suicide by flying in front of my car. The shock caused me to slam on the brakes, totaling three other cars in the process. FML
Today, I spent an hour and a half washing my car. As I was driving down the highway, a large bird flew over my car and accidentally dropped the dead animal he was about to have for dinner. It landed on my windshield. FML
Today, while driving with my three year-old, I was showing her the different kinds of birds. I pointed out a bright red cardinal perched in a row of hedges. She squealed as it took flight, so happy to see such a brightly colored birdie fly. Until it hit my windshield. FML
Today, I was driving my 7-year-old daughter to school, when out of nowhere a bird smashed into the windshield. Instead of screaming or being traumatized by the gore like me, my daughter started laughing, eventually calling the bird a "stupid bastard". FML
Today, I found a dead bird on my windshield. Thinking I was clever, I turned on my windshield wipers to get the bird off. Unfortunately, the dead bird fell through my open window and onto my lap. FML
Today, I was driving my parrot home from the vet. As I was driving home, I decided to let her sit on my shoulder. Something scared her, and she started flapping in my face, causing me to crash my car into a tree. FML
Today, my husband thought it would be funny to drive my car through a flock of vultures eating road kill. Since a bird hit the mirror and broke it, I now have to pay for a replacement. FML
Today, my father took me out for some driving lessons. Out of nowhere, a huge, apparently suicidal bird dove into the windshield, putting a crack in it. My father yelled at me as if it was my fault, and is demanding I pay for the repairs. FML
Today, I was driving along when the car in front of me ran over an animal. I only realised this when a chunk of flesh and blood landed on my windscreen. I put my wipers on to get rid of it but instead it got stuck underneath the wipers and smeared all over the screen. FML
Today, my friend hit a bird with her car. She asked me to get it off for her, so I reluctantly complied. It came off. In pieces. FML
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Top comments
devildog562 33
How does she feel about chicken ?
kaitlynjane 28
I can understand getting upset in a situation like this. However, crying about it for an extended period of time is a bit excessive. It sucks, but things like this happen :/
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Comments (91)
devildog562 33
How does she feel about chicken ?
Wizardo 34
Poultry, like its all fowl play.
thatsdndn1 19
well, people feel sorry for the cute animals and in the other hand they eat and enjoy the "less cute" animals! i feel sorry for that bird
ChloeRattlehead 22
Tell her stuff like that happens all the time. Also tell her it probably didn't suffer if the impact was hard enough.
liv1222 29
Stuff happens its OK .
cat4651 15
There was no way to avoid it, I hope she calms down soon!
EvilLittleGirl 24
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
**** the bird's life, no pun intended
theKevmeister 13
that wasn't a pun... no need for the "no pun intended"
EvilLittleGirl 24
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
I mean it like who cares about the bird amd it's a pun because of the site's name
I_Like_Dogs 28
No, this is not a pun.
xxmollyxx 25
Actually it's not a play on words either. OP's name is a play on words, quite a funny one.
Badkarma4u 17
You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means
shay_serendipity 29
Do you fully understand what a pun is?
deathmec 20
#5 - You're officially the dumbest person I have ever seen on FML. Congratulations, that is quite a task to accomplish.
youngmessi252525 20
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
I blame the bird cause it thought it was the word but really cat is the word
TheySaidWhat 9
What are you on?
RedPillSucks 33
I thought it was cute
chosha_fml 27
And yet not funny at all.
JMichael 26
Did she go on to tell you about how you're a murderer and should be ashamed?
getfokinrektm8 9
Its ******* nature
SubparAtBest 23
I didnt realise you could find a car just roaming around in its natural habitat.
getfokinrektm8 9
I meant its nature as in animals die everyday fucktard
gracehi 33
But of course. Haven't you ever seen the wild cars roaming free across the plains?
kaitlynjane 28
I can understand getting upset in a situation like this. However, crying about it for an extended period of time is a bit excessive. It sucks, but things like this happen :/
jayemerald17 25
Maybe Op's wife was going through some hormonal times? I.e pregnancy /that time of the month? And before I get down voted I'm a girl
chosha_fml 27
#9 Agreed, but also she's not thinking about how she's making OP feel, as he was driving. He couldn't avoid hitting the bird and on top of that he's being made to feel like he caused her sadness as well.
SavagePasta 6
Take her out hunting!
Tankkiller308 16
Wife: aw Look at that cute dov... BOOM Husband: sorry were you saying something honey