Today, I drunk dialed my mom and told her I was so high and drunk that I thought the KGB was coming after me. When I woke up this morning, my mom told me that she's no longer paying for college. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, after being accepted into the college of my dreams, I found out that my mom has spent all my college savings on alcohol over the years, and she says that it's my fault for not "helping her get help." FML
Today, my mom left the house in the morning, leaving me alone. I called and I got no answer. Hours later, she finally answers one of my calls and tells me that she'd been in an AA meeting all this time. Happy, I tell her to come home. She came home drunk. FML
Today, my drunken mother woke up after having passed out and yelled at me for ditching school. It took half an hour to explain that it's 5:00, and I've already been to school. FML
Today, my once-alcoholic mom told me that she would sell me for a shot of vodka. FML
Today, my mother took a bunch of sleeping pills, then went driving. I followed her and dialed 911. Now she thinks that I was "trying to get her arrested," and she refuses to talk to me ever again. FML
Today, I woke up with a high fever and hallucinations. I called for my mother, who after checking me, swore that I was just hungover from a night of partying, called me a "f*cking hedonist", and refused to help. FML
Today, I hit someone’s car and got arrested for a DUI. I had to tell my parents so they could remove me from the insurance. My mom's response in the background after I told my dad was "I knew it." FML
Today, my mom got drunk and tried to push me off a ladder. FML
Today, I was so drunk that I gave my mom's number instead of mine to the really cute guy I met at the bar. FML
Today, my mom came home, shitfaced drunk. She thought I was my dad and gave me a forceful kiss, with a lot of tongue. She then pulled away, stared at me, screamed in horror, and spewed all over me. I puked too. FML
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Top comments
Seegtease 0
For those of you who think the mother was "wrong" to do that: It's her money. She has no obligation to pay, and if I found out that this lousy behavior and irresponsibility was happening on my funds, you bet he'd get no more funding. Totally deserved.
Kisharu 0
Wow. That's GOTTA suck. But, that's what happens when you use weed.
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Comments (100)
Kisharu 0
Wow. That's GOTTA suck. But, that's what happens when you use weed.
JSskater 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
just cause you smoke weed doesn't mean your stupid I smoke daily and still maintain a 3.8GPA
spikeisfat 6
Looks like we gotta badass over here!
spikeisfat 6
Looks like we got a badass over here!
RpiesSPIES 27
#121 Well we can see English is the missing 0.2
LosAngelesGalaxy 7
You have a 3.8 GPA and can't use proper grammar?
xerbrus 14
that's because gpa scores don't mean shit
henryzm 7
You're*
iceyluv 9
I have been smoking marijuana daily for over a year and have never been reckless. Drinking alcohol does that. so your comment should say " That's what happens when you get drunk."
bobdole 0
hahhahaha. time for community college.
pogostick_fml 2
Your mom's overreacting.
FlyMeAway 2
Not really. Her son (or daughter) is spending his college time drinking and getting high instead of studying. I'm not saying you can't have fun in college, but OP shouldn't be doing weed or drinking (unless he's of age where he is and it's legal)
blah_blah_shity 0
good one, stooopid. why would you call your mom? of all the people? come on.
nnnntr 17
It was a drunk dial
ummmyeahhh 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
wow, everyone, WAY to overreact. 1. s/he never said s/he was high, just drunk. 2. s/he's away from parents, free for the first time. it's okay to relax. 3. college is the time to party. it's practically your job. as my parents say, it's the best four years of my life, and my only chance to party. after all of this, i have to pay. 4. the only mistake was drunk dialing the MOTHER. that's where everything went wrong. SHE was the one overreacting.
biwinning88 1
yes they did they said they "were so high"
Knightchaser27 25
Are you in college?
tiger69 0
im terrified that i will do that one day
Kalhenwrath 13
easiest way to prevent that is to leave your phone at home when you go out partying
uncletom_fml 0
sounds like she got the final ha ha on that one. i'll bet you'll be turning your phone off during future binge drinking adventures.
arms_akimbo 0
Nice to see that all that schooling is paying off, eh?
ridiculous_gnome 0
That kind of crazy paranoid does not come from alcohol or weed... but say you were drunk and tired that they will relax... btw... why the hell do you call your mum when you're high?? where were your friends to stop you from doing that crap?? should b "today i woke up and realized that my friends dont give a crap to me, fml"
greenman_fml 0
dude the KGB is serious shit. i'd be scared