Today, I was debating which hurts more: child-birth or a kick to the testicles. Some guy spouted the old urban legend that a nut-kick is 9000 "dels", and giving birth is 57, so I proved that no such measurement of pain exists. His comeback was to sucker-punch me to the floor. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had a debate with my girlfriend about whether giving birth or getting kicked in the balls hurts more. It ended up with her kicking me in the balls. I was the one who said giving birth hurt more. FML
Today, I was helping a 7 year-old student in my martial arts class with his kicks. My reward? A surprisingly powerful kick to the testicles. FML
Today, while working in a blood drawing clinic, a mom sat in the chair holding her 4-year-old child, who kicked me square in the groin. Being a heavyset lady, I shrugged it off and collected the sample, while the child screamed, "Kicking worked on the last man that did this!" FML
Today, I tried to see if you can kick yourself in the nuts. You can. FML
Today, at work, I was talking to a colleague about what the worst pain he ever experienced was. He said his was being bitten by a dog, and I said I didn't know. Next thing, I was kicked in the balls from a behind by another work colleague. She said, "What about that?" I agreed, it was. FML
Today, walking home from work, I saw a little boy crying, so I crouched down to his eye level. I asked him what was wrong, his reply was to kick me in the groin. FML
Today, I was playing some soccer with my buddies, when a kid came over, yelled "CUP CHECK!" and nailed me in the nuts then ran away laughing. Millions of my unborn children died in agony. All his fatass mom did was chuckle nervously and pat her satan-spawn on the head. FML
Today, my little brother punched me in the stomach. When I didn't flinch and he asked me why, I thought it would be funny to tell him I was Iron Man and that nothing could hurt me. Two seconds later, he took a step back and kicked me in the nuts as hard as he could. FML
Today, I managed to squeeze a testicle between my thigh and a drawer while doing the dishes. From the floor, writhing in pain, I watched my wife laughing hysterically while our two year-old ran up to jump on me. FML
Today, my nephew kicked me in the balls, again! And he got me fair and square this time. It's the fourth time he's got me in the balls since the pandemic started. I have to put my groin guard from college on and teach him a lesson because he won't listen and he's 12, so he knows what he's doing. FML
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Top comments
redbluegreen 41
Can you tell me how much that Hz, on a scale of 1-10?
GothickNihilist 15
Honestly I wish that people would stop treating myths as scientific fact.
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Comments (185)
the_reichart 7
Haha listen this can only be solved one way find a woman who has given birth before have her get a sex change and kick her in the nuts and then we will see what hurts worse hahaha I vote kicked in balls
CharresBarkrey 16
I vote we give you ovaries, a uterus, a ******, and fallopian tubes. Then get you pregnant and watch you give birth.
eab63 1
I am a guy who has been hit in the balls numerous times through sports and kicked in the balls from a girl. That pain is nowhere near the pain of tearing your acl and miniscus in the same injury. Nor is it close to the pain of breaking your femur (and blacking out as a result)returning a kickoff so that whole myth of a hit to the balls being as bad as breaking a lot of bones at once is so false. I will take a kick to the nuts over those other injuries I have had any day of the week. And when it comes to child birth, my mother said tearing her acl, mcl, and miniscus all at once was worse than child borth but very comparable, that shows how low a hit to the nuts is. So all you pussy guys who think a hit to the nuts is worse need to grow a pair and learn what real pain is. Plenty of things hurt way worse than a hit to the nuts, just go as Joe Theisman aboit what Lawrence Taylor did to him. And that was just one leg breaking. I am sure he would have rather been hit in the nuts.
caseiscool90 14
Ya, that's a totally sufficient argument. And I always say stuff like Well girls literally tear themselves in half to give birth, and then have Their vaginal canals sewed up relitvley back to normal, and then suffer the pains of after birth and after birth pains and such. Ya a kick in the balls probably hurts and FYI "dels" is actually a form of an attempt to measure pain(a failed one mind you) But giving birth does hurt more and it definitely hurts longer. I guess it is an opinion until proven wrong/right but would you rather get kicked in the balls or tear your self in half(sometimes to death) to the be sewed up and then also suffer the post-natal pains.
weaverald 4
Kidney stones are like birth. I'd say they hurt more than kicked in the nuts.
caseiscool90 14
Ya well while kidney stones hurt they aren't exactly giving birth. Giving birth would be if the stone where the size of a mediumish sized watermelon. Out of a key hole sized...hole. So ya.....
theawkwardlife 21
when in doubt sucker-punch your opponent. works every time.
BradyT918 9
Getting packed does not make your penis hurt, it makes your balls hurt. And it can last for quite a long time. If its a light tap it may be minutes but if your screwing with class mates having crazy fun in shop class and you get nailed with a rubber mallet it lasts for a long time and the pain does not lessen for quite a while.
Corrupt_waffles 13
Wouldn't it be a wonderful world if we could hook men and women up to a computer and simulate the pain of being kicked in the junk and pushing out a human through a vag.... and be done with these dumb arguments over what hurts more. ._.
redpanda11 10
Some people are real sore losers, violence is never the answer. Sorry you were hit for being intelligent op.
luvin_purple 11
Dels is the real measurement for pain.
Eleanor6141 11
Seeing as a kick to the balls usually starts to feel better after a day or 2, and it takes a good 3-4 weeks for women to recover from giving birth, i think its obvious .-.
KiddNYC1O 22
Some say the way a woman holds your hand during birth hurts the most! Lol
KiddNYC1O 22
Edit: during labor
SApprentice 34
Childbirth involves damage and pain to the entire body, not just a woman's genitalia. Childbirth is not comparable to kicking a man's crotch. Those are completely different types of damage and pain. You know what is slightly closer in equality? Kicking a woman in the crotch. Those two scenarios are caused by the same injuring force, and are therefore comparable. It's really not even worth arguing over though. If someone wants to believe that an average kick to the nuts is more painful than the average childbirth then let them believe that. It's just not worth it. Let them have it. There's an incredible amount of idiocy in this world, and maybe if we all just ignore it, it will go away.