Today, I was debating which hurts more: child-birth or a kick to the testicles. Some guy spouted the old urban legend that a nut-kick is 9000 "dels", and giving birth is 57, so I proved that no such measurement of pain exists. His comeback was to sucker-punch me to the floor. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I had a debate with my girlfriend about whether giving birth or getting kicked in the balls hurts more. It ended up with her kicking me in the balls. I was the one who said giving birth hurt more. FML
Today, I was helping a 7 year-old student in my martial arts class with his kicks. My reward? A surprisingly powerful kick to the testicles. FML
Today, while working in a blood drawing clinic, a mom sat in the chair holding her 4-year-old child, who kicked me square in the groin. Being a heavyset lady, I shrugged it off and collected the sample, while the child screamed, "Kicking worked on the last man that did this!" FML
Today, I tried to see if you can kick yourself in the nuts. You can. FML
Today, at work, I was talking to a colleague about what the worst pain he ever experienced was. He said his was being bitten by a dog, and I said I didn't know. Next thing, I was kicked in the balls from a behind by another work colleague. She said, "What about that?" I agreed, it was. FML
Today, walking home from work, I saw a little boy crying, so I crouched down to his eye level. I asked him what was wrong, his reply was to kick me in the groin. FML
Today, I was playing some soccer with my buddies, when a kid came over, yelled "CUP CHECK!" and nailed me in the nuts then ran away laughing. Millions of my unborn children died in agony. All his fatass mom did was chuckle nervously and pat her satan-spawn on the head. FML
Today, my little brother punched me in the stomach. When I didn't flinch and he asked me why, I thought it would be funny to tell him I was Iron Man and that nothing could hurt me. Two seconds later, he took a step back and kicked me in the nuts as hard as he could. FML
Today, I managed to squeeze a testicle between my thigh and a drawer while doing the dishes. From the floor, writhing in pain, I watched my wife laughing hysterically while our two year-old ran up to jump on me. FML
Today, my nephew kicked me in the balls, again! And he got me fair and square this time. It's the fourth time he's got me in the balls since the pandemic started. I have to put my groin guard from college on and teach him a lesson because he won't listen and he's 12, so he knows what he's doing. FML
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Top comments
redbluegreen 41
Can you tell me how much that Hz, on a scale of 1-10?
GothickNihilist 15
Honestly I wish that people would stop treating myths as scientific fact.
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Comments (185)
nikkinurse 10
A punch to the testicles probably can hurt just as much.... But child birth can last for 3 fing days.... So unless every time you're wife has a contraction she can punch you in the groin, I would stop trying to do this experiment....
misspennycakes 7
Have a baby THEN tell me which one hurts more
Obey_StudBoii 23
Nope. Childbirth hurts more then being kicked In the nuts. It's like trying to pull your lip over your head. That's right you can't. Ask any woman what childbirth was like and she'll tell you the same. Contractions minute after min, with no pain meds.
SnoochBoochie 14
I agree on the nut shot hurting more based on the fact; one year after either incident no man will ask for another nut shot but a woman may ask for another child.
Psycho_Babydoll 26
The logic behind that is that labor pain results in a child, whereas being kicked in the crotch results in sore balls.
jamjam12 15
You sir are a moron
NewFire911 5
This is stupid. I can't believe this made it through.
human1der2 1
Dels are a real unit, and he is right. One crotch-shot is equivalent to hiving birth to 67 babies and breaking 9000 bones at the same time
VermeGeo 6
You're an idiot.
alldavedup 15
if a woman has a child a couple years later she will say she wants another, but if you punch a man in the nuts he will say he doesn't want that to happen ever again
jamjam12 15
Again, another idiot
russianspy1234 11
After giving birth the first time, many women go on to give birth again. No man in history, has ever asked to be kicked in the balls a 2nd time.
NirvashType0Spec 7
Actually that "urban legend" is actually true. Getting kicked in the nuts hurts more, but since child birth is such a long process it surpasses getting kicked in the nuts
jtalt92 5
Sucks for you